Would you be upset if your parents and both your adult DDs forgot, and five days, later still seemed unaware...

[liz70]

...that your DH and you had had your twentieth wedding anniversary? No card, no phonecall, no message, no acknowledgement whatsoever?

Just that, really.

Hidillyho, why is it odd? All my family do it, all DH's family do it and so do a lot of my friends' families.

As I said, someone is obviously buying the anniversary cards that card shops sell. There is usually a pretty big selection anywhere that sells cards

My DH and I don't fuss over anyone's wedding anniversaries, not even or own. Except big ones like 20,25 etc. That warrants a bit of acknowledgement from nearest and dearest.

Nope.

It's not a major one and is your anniversary not theirs

Oh god, are we supposed to mark family members anniversaries? I have no idea when DPs is.

I was all set to say that yes, I would mind and close family members should really remember these things - and then I remembered the 2 years when bloody Facebook told us it was our wedding anniversary before we realised ourselves, so I am in fact a big fat hypocrite.

I've been brought up in a family where anniversaries are for the couple.

DH has been brought up in a family where he is expected to buy presents for his parents for their anniversary, including significant sized gifts for "big" anniversaries. This baffles me.

Nooooo. Anniversaries are for you to celebrate, not anyone else.

We always get anniversary congratulations from both sets of parents. And I make a point of calling my parents on theirs. DH does the same for his parents.

But I'm not upset if people forget (except DH, obvs.)

mydogisthebest
I just do. Obviously other people don’t (my family included) but me and DP forget ours. Admittedly it’s not a wedding anniversary but we have still been together for 15yrs. I can’t see that changing when we get married unless we get married on one of our birthdays
Other people can celebrate them and buy cards all they like but I don’t think you can be upset if not everyone shares your excitement for it

I have never had acknowledgement of my anniversary by anyone other than DH and that hasn't been consistent.

Yes I would be upset. We have always remembered family anniversaries, and so have other family members. Our son forgot this year and I was upset. I still remembered his though, so hope he returns the compliment next year. I suppose it just depends on whether it's a family "tradition" in individual families, I don't think there's a "right or wrong" with this.

I can barely remember my own! Some take it seriously though. I was told off by my stepdad (bit rich he's only a few years older than me) for forgetting his and DMs. Despite the fact my DC was in hospital seriously ill at the time. I do think you have to be pretty self involved to expect others to remember.

This thread has just reminded me it is mine tomorrow. Just popping out to get a card now. That’s a bullet dodged.

My mum always makes us feel guilty when we forget so now we have it in our calendar

Same here. I was at their wedding but was only five years old. I get the guilt trip if I forget to send them a card.

I dont get this at all!?!
Why would it mean anything to any of them? Its a special day for the couple but why do you need rewarding for staying together?
How odd.

No, I often forget my own so no way I would remember anyone else's and I wouldn't expect them to remember mine.

As long as DH and I acknowledge it (when we remember) surely that's all that matters?

If DH didn’t remember I’d be furious, but otherwise why would anyone else need to? It seems particularly churlish for your DC who quite possibly weren’t even alive when it happened!

We recognise wedding anniversaries in our family. I think when you are a family, and you have attended the wedding, you are part of a support network for the couple. It’s nice to acknowledge the day.

Wouldn't bother me at all. When I was married, the only person who ever gave me a card was my husband. Who remembers other people's wedding dates? Hardly anyone, so unless it's a milestone like 25 years and the couple concerned say to people "Yoo-hoo folks, it's our silver wedding coming up!" no one would know. YABU.

Nope, barely remember our own.

No. I wouldn't expect anyone else to remember unless we were having a big party. It's not really important to other people.

My MIL always gives us an anniversary card and I think it's weird. I really don't expect anyone to remember except us.

It's our 20th soon. I don't expect anyone other than DH will remember. In fact my DM has often tried to convince me that our anniversary is one day earlier than it is. She won't take no it's not for an answer Do you think you really want a bit if fuss made and are hoping that others will realise? If so, tell them.

Ours next week. I expect a card from husband only.

I wouldn't because it's a day for me and dh.