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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To do a runner?

183 replies

ladyface69 · 02/09/2018 13:12

And move to Wales??

So here it is. I'm a qualified NHS professional with lots of options career-wise. No children, no debts or mortgage.
But I really don't want to stick around with my OH, he has made it clear over the last 5 years that he isn't going anywhere in life and (I have posted previously about this) when I try to break up the relationship will turn on the charm and wear me down until I agree to stick it out.
There is a recruitment campaign for the NHS in wales at the moment and they will pay relocation costs (not a lot, but enough to tidy up my current rental property, pay a bond on a new one, maybe hire a van to move my stuff). There are jobs that I could do now, some are 6 or 12 months fixed term; so if I didn't like it I could come back easily.
My parents have a holiday cottage in Snowdonia that I could do the changeovers for if I moved up there.
It's not like I'm moving to new zealand or australia, I could technically come back for a weekend visit and lots of my friends regularly come to wales for breaks, so I wouldn't be totally isolated.

plus - Wales!

Am I mad??

OP posts:
WillowRose79 · 02/09/2018 15:14

Do it! Wales is beautiful! And so cheap!!

Troels · 02/09/2018 15:14

Oh EMI? I'm in an EMI nursing home, so if you want to go on our bank just say something.
If you are applying for Llanfairfechan (bryn y neuadd hospital) or Bangor. Don't live too far out, the weather can get hairy in winter. I'd live in Llanfairfechan, Conwy, or Bangor way depending on the hospital.
I'm up the Conwy Valley and work near Llandudno.

LaGruffaloGrumble · 02/09/2018 15:15

That first house!

This seems like the most amazing thing to do. Go for it!

Petalflowers · 02/09/2018 15:18

That first house is gorgeous.

ittooshallpass · 02/09/2018 15:18

Nurses are like gold dust... you'll never be out of work in Wales. Go go go!

BoomBoomsCousin · 02/09/2018 15:22

I’m really struck by the fact you’ve been trying to leave your OH for some time and been unable to manage it to the extent you see such a drastic change as needed escape route from a situation you really ought to be able to walk out of without the need to “run away”. It does seem as though there’s a lot about this opportunity that fires you up anyway so you’re not mad to consider it and I wish you all the best in it - it does sound exciting! But you should perhaps work on yourself a bit at some point so you dont end up trapped by circumstances again and feeling unable to simply stand up for yourself where you’re at.

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 02/09/2018 15:24

Good luck! How exciting.

Moominfan · 02/09/2018 15:24

Best of luck! Dogs, woods and snowdonia sounds perfect escape

kateandme · 02/09/2018 15:29

aunt did it.she was on shift but got bank to cover all others.she was in constant request.loves her place.
all the family now flock there to see them and be in such beautiful surrounding.
after commuting back to London a few weekends it quickly became routine and not a problem at all.
she found everything cheaper
speaking the language wasn't essential but she quickly learnt
get to the beaches
get to the national parks in ur backyard.
of course it will be scary.
of course there are going to be tough moments.but it would be silly to think otherwise as moving home and life will of course be the biggest or one of the biggest things you do in life.this doesn't stop it being the best choice and the right choice and so worth it in the en.
give yourself time to adjust.dont get there and worry if its not easy.youll need time to be settled.meet friends.all things take time but again,it doesn't make it worth it.

Haisuli · 02/09/2018 15:33

It depends what job you do. To rent somewhere through an agency you have to prove you can afford the rent. On 22.5 hours you might not be officially able to afford £580 a.month as you can't prove how much you would get doing bank work. Mind you if your parents would stand as guarantor that would work. I ran away to the Lake District
15 years ago. Its good to be brave. I think brave actions are often rewarded in life. Good luck!

Branleuse · 02/09/2018 15:35

sounds perfect

Jb291 · 02/09/2018 15:36

It sounds like an amazing opportunity OP. You've got every reason to do this. How gorgeous is that first cottage? A fresh start in a beautiful location without your partner to drag you down. Think of the amazing freedom that awaits you.

viques · 02/09/2018 15:36

Go for it, the cottage has two bedrooms so if needs must you could take on a lodger, or even a little deer as auto correct so sweetly suggested!

Littlechocola · 02/09/2018 15:38

Go for it. If it doesn’t work out for any reason you can always come back, you’ll have lost the idiot man and had an adventure.
What have you got to lose?

Seafoodeatit · 02/09/2018 15:39

Do it, I think it's a great opportunity but even if you didn't opt for Wales I would still not stay with him, you sound like you can do much better.

Good luck OP, those houses look lovely.

QueenOfCatan · 02/09/2018 15:42

Go go go! I'd love to be in that position, very jealous! We were just getting ready to piss of up North when we discovered I am pregnant again, so we've put the plans on hold until next summer, but once you start getting itchy feet you don't stop thinking about it!

Gosh all that gorgeous scenery on your doorstep, beautiful coastlines and Snowdon. Wales would be wonderful, might have to see what it's like for DHs work to see if it's possible for us too Grin I lived near to Shrewsbury but right on the England/Wales border for a short while years ago and it was lovely, we frequently drove into the rural parts to explore.

Hairyfairy01 · 02/09/2018 16:22

I would go for it but it might be worth researching Betsi and mental health, there's been some pretty shocking reports out over the last few years.

CherryCherryCherry · 02/09/2018 18:06

Think you knew you wanted to do it! Nothing to lose loads to gain! Loads of luck in your new venture!!!!

KateGrey · 02/09/2018 19:23

Absolutely do it. We’ve got kids now and two have special needs and are settled at school so we don’t want to risk moving.

This has made me want to holiday in Wales.

HildaZelda · 02/09/2018 19:35

Absolutely go for it OP. You only live once. I want to move from where we are, but DH won't. He cites 'work' as an excuse but both of our jobs are quite flexible.
I know the real reason is because sodding MIL currently lives 5 minutes away and even though there are 4 siblings, he's the idiot who does everything for her and allows himself to be manipulated all the time Hmm

scarbados · 02/09/2018 19:36

Run! Run towards your new life and enjoy every minute of it. I hope it all goes well.

PoisonousSmurf · 02/09/2018 19:39

Much better quality of life in Wales. London chokes the life out of people.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 02/09/2018 19:40

Do it, OP!

PinaGrigio · 02/09/2018 19:54
Original poster
ladyface69 · 27/09/2018 21:32

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to say that I have been carrying out my secret plot

  1. got an interview!!!
  2. for a full time position Shock
  3. am going to wales for a week for said interview and to look at rentals
  4. I've told all my friends and also my parents what's been happening
  5. told him it's over and he has 30 days to move out

I keep swinging from elated to terrified!
my only problem is I have a Ddog and know landlords can be strict about not having pets. We shall see what happens :)

OP posts: