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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask ladies with brothers

159 replies

HaveSomeGrace · 01/09/2018 22:19

What kind of relationships do you have with your brothers? Did you ever want a sister? How many of you are there? Are you the youngest, eldest etc?

My daughter is 1 of 5 but no sisters. I wondered what it might be like for her as she grows as I won’t be able to give her a sister, ever.

OP posts:
TwoOddSocks · 01/09/2018 22:21

I'm not at all close to my brother but DH is very close to his sister and they have a lovely relationship. I really don't think there are any guarantees when it comes to siblings. Some will get on and others won't. If she has a sister they may well have ended up competing with each other and fighting tooth and nail. I think there's a tendency to romanticise what you don't have and imagine a hollywood relationship that may never have happened anyway.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 01/09/2018 22:22

I'm the youngest of five - 3 girls 2 boys. Sisters okay, brothers brilliant. Your DD will be fine Smile

Babyroobs · 01/09/2018 22:23

There is just me and my brother. I would have loved a sister. Nothing much in common with my brother who lives miles away.

Twotailed · 01/09/2018 22:24

I’m very close to my brother and love him to pieces. We’re very close and have always been good friends.

ginandtonicformeplease · 01/09/2018 22:24

One brother, we don't get on at all and never have. When I was about seven , over dinner I asked my dad if I could have a little sister - he said that he couldn't guarantee it wouldn't be another brother and I never asked again.

hungryhippie · 01/09/2018 22:25

I have 2 brothers who I was very close to growing up. I never felt like I wanted a sister.

ASAS · 01/09/2018 22:26

I have 2 DBs, we're all very close in age so at uni I had the same classes as one of my brothers. That obv shows we naturally have common interests which helps I think.

I hate saying it but as a teen girl it was often useful that people knew you had brothers (although I was, of course, still fucking drugged and abused at a teen house party so ya know, the world is still shit.

As an adult I enjoy having my 2 SILs, a nice change from the intense female relationship mums and daughters can have.

Whatififall · 01/09/2018 22:27

I’ve a brother, never felt like I wanted a sister instead. Not so close growing up but from 18 onwards we’ve been really close.

A friend with a brother doesn’t get along at all, you’d think she was an only child.

It depends on the personalities really.

katienana · 01/09/2018 22:27

I have a sister and a brother. Love them both to pieces. We are all close. My brother phones me just to chat and we whatsapp loads too. I think growing up with a brother helped me form good friendships with guys.

elQuintoConyo · 01/09/2018 22:27

Not me but DH. He's one of 6, 2 sisters. Something has been going on over the last couple of years that has shattered the family and all his siblings have turned into grabby arseholes. It is so sad to see.

Prior to that they had all grown up really close, like an unbreakable clan. It's heartbreaking.

Bluelonerose · 01/09/2018 22:28

Just me and my brother. I'm older he's golden balls though and can do no wrong.
Even now he'll do things just for a reaction out of me. Which is a shame coz other than that he's lively. I would of loved a sister.

I was looking forward to having a sil when i met dh.
Unfortunately she's a complete bitch who seems to delight in sly little digs that dh NEVER picks up on and thinks the sun shines out of her arse Hmm

TheActualLastJedi · 01/09/2018 22:30

Growing up I never wanted a sister, was quite happy with just me and my older brother.

Now that we're adults, we don't have an exceptionally close relationship. We don't talk daily or anything like that, but I know full well if I called him up and said I've got a problem or if I was upset he would do whatever it would take to support me/comfort me.

Were like good aquantances haha I do see him regularly like once a week though and we have a laugh, and I take my nephew out with my son during school holidays and stuff.

ParklifePoser · 01/09/2018 22:30

I have 3 brothers. I get on really well with 2 and am civil but not close to the other. The one I am not close to is massively older than me (into double figures age gap) so I don't remember living with him, although I remember him coming to our house reasonably often. We are also just generally very different people. I have much more in common with my other brothers.

Floaty2018 · 01/09/2018 22:30

I am the eldest and only girl, followed by two DBs. Never wanted a sister!

NameChanger22 · 01/09/2018 22:32

One brother. I haven't spoken to him for many years. He beat up his girlfriend and did quite a few horrible things to me over the years. He has a good side and I miss him sometimes but I doubt I will ever see him again.

Galvantula · 01/09/2018 22:32

Just me and my brother in our family. We got on fine and still chat regularly. Wish he wasn't so bloody far away. Sad

I never wanted a sister.

freddiethegreat · 01/09/2018 22:34

My only sibling is my brother - 6 years younger. We are close. We lost one parent when I was 12 & he was 6 & the other parent had a breakdown so I semi-parented him & later he has been my biggest support through adoption & single parenting. I have a lovely SIL & delightful nephews too. We are all human & irritate each other at times, but it’s a very good, solid bond.

AJPTaylor · 01/09/2018 22:34

I have db. Reasonably close growing up. He sodded off to thw states 20 years ago. Not close now.

Thehop · 01/09/2018 22:35

I have 5 brothers they’re bloody brilliant

I’m glad my dd has 3 brothers, and hope they’ll be just as close as we are

Peanutbuttercups21 · 01/09/2018 22:36

I have two brothers

Never ever yearned for a sister!

Have uncomplicated good relationship with them, and my SILs

Original poster
HaveSomeGrace · 01/09/2018 22:37

Thanks everyone, loved reading through these responses!

My daughter has a lovely relationship with 3 of her brothers; the 4th is still only young himself and there’s only 20mths between the 2 so they do clash and he tells her he doesn’t like her and pushes her out a lot. Makes me wonder if they’ll ever be close but, yeh, it’s been interesting to read everyone’s responses. Thankyou.

OP posts:
Haworthia · 01/09/2018 22:38

I have one brother. Can’t imagine having a sister. We’re not not close, but we’re not close either. We have a big age gap so are at very different stages in life.

When I was younger (and an only child) I desperately wanted a sister, but I’m sort of glad I don’t have one now. There’s no other girl in the family to compare myself with, and that suits me.

ColinsVeryJolly · 01/09/2018 22:38

I’ve got 2 brothers, one older, one younger. I get on great with both of them although probably closer to my younger brother as we have the same stupid sense of humour.

Growing up I wasn’t bothered about not having a sister but I’m feeling it now my mum has died and there are no other female relatives. I only have sons too and I sometimes feel quite lacking in female support at times.

butlerswharf · 01/09/2018 22:39

I have 5 brothers. Love being with them all. I've never wanted a sister. It's never crossed my mind.

ProudThrilledHappy · 01/09/2018 22:39

I have one brother but we are NC because he’s a selfish, arrogant and violent man-child.
He was golden child who could never do wrong as well.
Your DD should be fine as long as all DC are treated fairly, most of my issues with my sibling are due to favouritism rather then gender (although the favouritism may also have been due to gender and our generation)