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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask ladies with brothers

159 replies

HaveSomeGrace · 01/09/2018 22:19

What kind of relationships do you have with your brothers? Did you ever want a sister? How many of you are there? Are you the youngest, eldest etc?

My daughter is 1 of 5 but no sisters. I wondered what it might be like for her as she grows as I won’t be able to give her a sister, ever.

OP posts:
Longdistance · 01/09/2018 23:30

I have an older dB. He is only 2 years older than me. Dm thinks the sun shines out of his arse and he never moved out. He’s 45 Confused and throughout the years has had his arse wiped constantly as dm an df were always supporting him.
I on the other hand, bought my own house, moved out, had a career, no push from dp as they were too busy pushing dB. Met dh, now live in a bigger house than my dps had, and we are comfortably well off.

Get on with dB, but it’s obvious I am the brains 🤷🏼‍♀️

TheVanguardSix · 01/09/2018 23:31

2 big brothers. It has never ever occurred to me to want a sister at any point in my life.

holidaycountdown54321 · 01/09/2018 23:32

I don't have a great relationship with my brother, he lives 2 minutes from us with his wife and the only time I see him is if he happens to visit my parents at the same time. I don't dislike him, I just think his wife probably doesn't like me so he never sees us or our two children.

I always wanted a sister, I used to wish for one when I blew my candles out! When I turned 10 I got one (and my parents got a big surprise!). I'm very close to my sister despite the large age gap we are very similar and just like mates now really. I'm the middle child with my brother the eldest by a few years.

My brother gets on ok with my sister, although she has the same opinions as me about him. My brother's wife seems to like my sister so they have a lot more time for my sister (I've no idea why, even my sister doesn't know?!)

glsgow107 · 01/09/2018 23:34

I'm one of five. Four brothers. Second born. I've never, ever wanted a sister!

MamaHechtick · 01/09/2018 23:35

I have 3 brothers. Two are older, one younger. I get on best and am closest to the eldest, we speak most days. The youngest lives near to me and I see him most weeks, we were very close growing up but not so close in adulthood (pesky sil). The middle brother I tolerate. I have always been much closer to my brother's than I have my sister, she's the eldest of us all and even now in her ripe old age she likes to remind us all. I think that's what made the rest of us get on better.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 01/09/2018 23:37

One younger brother. We are very different (I was shy and academic, he was outgoing and sporty etc) so we didn't feel like we had much in common growing up. Since we left home though we've been quite close - we live in different towns so don't have much day to day contact but my family go on holiday with his family and we get on very well now. We have more in common than we thought we did growing up. I never wanted a sister (I was a tomboy though and had a lot of male friends).

glsgow107 · 01/09/2018 23:39

And to be fair, yes I was picked on as the only girl but I remember my brother picking up the house phone (aged 7) and taking a boy if he broke my heart he would break his legs. They could pick on me but no one else could. And my first boyfriend was my older brothers best friend! Honestly, when my sister in law calls me sis I hate it! I loved being the only girl Smile

SpectacularAardvark · 01/09/2018 23:48

I have two sisters, both massive twats in different ways. I'd have loved a brother, I always imagined he'd have been a huge improvement.
My child will have no siblings and I do feel awfully guilty.

8misskitty8 · 01/09/2018 23:49

I have a brother who is 3 years younger. I would have liked a sister too.

We have always been close. I was the first person he told when he came out, although I secretly already knew.

I used to read to him in bed when we were younger, played dress up games, pretended we were going to narnia throughout the wooden wardrobe in our house.
We’re now In our late 30’s/early 40’s and we phone each other every week, and meet up for breakfast/lunch every month (we currently live in seperate towns) , we always have a Christmas shopping trip with our mum.
He’ll soon be moving to my town (just about to complete on a house ) so we’ll see each other more.
I can’t imagine us never being close.

BecauseImExtra · 01/09/2018 23:52

Two bothers. I'm in the middle. Never wanted a sister too.

W0rriedMum · 01/09/2018 23:54

Not at all close to my brother but am now close to my sisters. As a child, I wasn't very close to any of them!
I thank my lucky stars for my sisters every day.

JellySlice · 01/09/2018 23:59

I've known several people who were the only girl in a family of boys, or vice-versa. They were larger families, too, with 3 or more siblings.

Every one of them had distinct self-confidence. Not arrogance. And was totally at ease among the opposite sex.

itshappenedagain · 01/09/2018 23:59

2 brothers no sisters, and we get in really well. I even get in really well with both SIL too. I did used to want a sister, but it didn't matter as time went on.
I get in really well with males and enjoy their company more than female to be honest.
I have one child of each gender and they get in well too, I won't be having any more children.

AnnabelleLecter · 02/09/2018 00:11

I am the middle child and a lot closer to my dsis than my dbro, mainly because his wife, dsil only wants to do things with her family.
No fallings out or anything and DD is very close to their child (her cousin).

augustusglupe · 02/09/2018 00:20

I am the youngest of 4. My brother was the eldest and I have 2 sisters.
He died 5 years ago. There was a 16 year age gap between us. We were quite poor when I was very little and we shared a bedroom, my sisters had the other. I had a lovely cosy single bed, he had a camp bed. It was the sixties and my big free spirited brother would be gone for weeks at a time but then turn up out of the blue with lots of stories to tell me...edited I realise now Wink He was fun, kind, intense and tbh now, I feel I never really knew the real him...do we ever though!?
I idolised him, still do, he was my big brother and I’ll miss him forever. We lived a long way from each other in later years, but we had a connection that has never left me. I guessed he was ill before anyone told me and I hadn’t even seen him for ages, yet out of the blue, I had a dream that he was ill and he was.

toffee1000 · 02/09/2018 01:00

I have one younger brother. We are fairly close, get on ok.
I have sometimes wanted a sister, yes. But then I often think a sister could’ve been very different to me. I’m shy, don’t wear makeup, don’t go out, don’t have many friends... a sister might’ve been a popular extrovert who went out all the time. Who knows.

Redglitter · 02/09/2018 01:04

I've got a younger brother. Love him to bits. We're very close & always have been. Even as children we got on really well. I've never wanted a sister

SingingSands · 02/09/2018 01:22

My brother is 2 years younger than me.

We fought like crazy as kids one minute, thick as thieves the next. Got on much better when we were both late teens and we left home (separately) to escape our Mum.

I don't see him very often, due to geography, sometimes only twice a year, but we send texts, keep up via Facebook posts and occasional calls and Mum fills us in on what the other is doing (we have a wary relationship with our mum so a lot of the time we are united against her - a lot of "don't tell Mum" texts are sent!).

I'm proud of him, I love him dearly, but still roll my eyes at some of his antics. He might be nearly 40 but sometimes I think he's still 14 GrinGrin

Escumator · 02/09/2018 01:29

4 bros. Im the youngest was awesome we all super close now. Never wanted a sis.. boooo

ilovelamp82 · 02/09/2018 01:35

I have 2 sisters, one I get on with and one that I don't. I have one brother. He is one of my best friends. We have similar interests, sense of humour and share a friendship group. I would be lost without him.

Kaib223 · 02/09/2018 01:42

I've 2 brothers one older, one younger. I adore them both and never wished for a sister. I'm closer to my younger brother we tell each other everything and think of him more as a son even though there's only a few years between him. But my older brother is a lot more protective of me and my daughter which I've always appreciated really.

Think it would just depend if she gets on with them and how close they are 🤷‍♀️

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/09/2018 01:47

I have both a brother and a sister. None of us get on particularly well, I have been pretty much NC with my brother for a few years now (his choice and largely relating to his now ex partner) and my sister didn't have much to do with him; but my sister has recently had a blow up at me as well and, although we're not NC, she won't speak to me unless she has to.
I sound peachy, don't I! Thing is we never really got on that well as children either, and although we briefly came together in our late teens, partners and life choices got in the way - we're all VERY different people - and we really have nothing other than blood ties in common.
My brother is also VLC with my Dad, who my sister spends a lot of time with.

I only have 2 sons - I did sort of half wish I could have had a girl too but the last thing I wanted was 3 children, as my own experience of being one of 3 was so poor (lots of 2 against 1 growing up). The boys sometimes say they wish they had a sister but not often. I don't feel like they're missing out.

I think it's one of those things that you just can't quantify - my mother was an only child, she was desperate for an older brother (impossible, obviously) and so she made sure she had more than one because she didn't want us to feel the way she did. Didn't really work out - you can't put your ow expectations and hopes onto your children, they're different people!

ILoveHumanity · 02/09/2018 01:47

I have three brothers . I’m the second.

I always wanted a sister because I felt I needed to put extra effort to not feel left out between my brothers. I loved them dearly though and felt lucky to have them and in some ways I felt very special that I was their only sister.

But as I grew older it does get tough knowing I don’t have a sister as there are things I go through that I just can’t get them to understand.. like being a sil to their wives , and how I can be badly judged .. like my mum putting all her energy on picking on me

However I have loads of friend who are like sisters to me .

Id say just teach ur sons to cherish their sister and treat her with respect and then she can be special forever

MrsApplepants · 02/09/2018 01:51

I was ‘given’ 2 sisters. They added nothing to my life, nor I to theirs, we aren’t close now either. Would it have been different if they had been brothers? I doubt it, who knows, there are no guarantees that siblings will get along or be close so I wouldn’t worry about it tbh

CatLadyToddlerMother · 02/09/2018 01:52

I have a brother whose 14 months younger than me. I don't remember him ever not being around. We fought like cat and dog growing up and I sometimes wished I had a sister.

Now we're adults and no longer living together, he's my best friend and is a brilliant uncle to my DD. I'd be broken without him.

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