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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask ladies with brothers

159 replies

HaveSomeGrace · 01/09/2018 22:19

What kind of relationships do you have with your brothers? Did you ever want a sister? How many of you are there? Are you the youngest, eldest etc?

My daughter is 1 of 5 but no sisters. I wondered what it might be like for her as she grows as I won’t be able to give her a sister, ever.

OP posts:
Fstar · 01/09/2018 22:39

I am the youngest with 4 brothers. I have a good relationship with them all, they were all very protective of me when i was growing up. 8 nieces and 4 nephews and have a close relationship with them all. I didnt miss having a sister. I had cousins around my age that lived close and had a good time with them but god girls are ao bitchy, they were always knocking lumps out of each other.

Bloodybridget · 01/09/2018 22:39

I just have one brother who's less than two years older than me. He's a great man, I love him very much and enjoy his company a lot. I never missed having a sister, although I'm sure that would have been fine too - different, I guess.

namechangedyetagain · 01/09/2018 22:40

Incredibly close to my DB, spoke / text / emailed every day. Never wanted a sister. He died last week. I'd give anything to have him here I miss him so much.

namechangedyetagain · 01/09/2018 22:41

Basically just make the most of the siblings you have...

chipsandgin · 01/09/2018 22:42

Love my brother- he is one of my best friends & possibly the blueprint for my predominantly male friends (of the last 30 years). Feel very lucky!

Flobalob · 01/09/2018 22:42

Only girl amongst 2 boys and Dad growing up. Totally treasured by the all. If one of them finds out I need help with something, the jungle drums start and they're all there rallying round.
Makes me feel totally spoilt. They're all very sweet

kettleonplease · 01/09/2018 22:43

To be honest I think it is entirely dependant on who their partner is. Some women just don't like their partners being close to their family! I lost my brother for years when he was with his ex and frequently wished I had a sister.

SerenDippitty · 01/09/2018 22:43

I love my brother. Can’t say I’ve ever missed having a sister.

Original poster
HaveSomeGrace · 01/09/2018 22:44

@namechangedyetagain

I’m very sorry for your loss but thankyou for your reply. I hope you’ve got lots of wonderful memories of him to think of at this time.

OP posts:
eandh · 01/09/2018 22:44

I have older brother (22 months between us) we fought all the time as children, then pretty much ignored each other 11-15 years old then I changed secondary school in year 9 and we weren’t together and started to get on. As we’ve got older we are very close we will text most days, I look after his son on my day off in the week to save them childcare costs, he will have one or both of my girls if I ever need him too. We all went to Greece last year on holiday (him, partner and 3 children, Me, dh and 2 dd’s) was an amazing holiday and something we def want to do again. The only thing I would charge is that I very much deal with our parents things like broadband issues, listening to medical
Moans etc etc falls on my shoulders ! Apart from that I would say he is one of my closest friends as well as my brother

puzzledlady · 01/09/2018 22:44

i have one of each - love my brother, relationship with sister is off and on.

SandunesAndRainclouds · 01/09/2018 22:44

I’m youngest of 3.

The boys had a small age gap, then there’s a big gap between me and the youngest boy.

I was never involved in their play, partly because I’m a girl but also because of age. I desperately wanted a sister growing up but maybe I actually wanted someone who was going to be nice to me!!

I have no contact with one of my brothers now, and live within an hour’s drive of the other but rarely see him unless he wants something or is having a relationship crisis!

DH has a sister and they’re not particularly close now either. My best friend and her brother are very close though, but the whole extended family are and see each other a lot. We actually get a lot of our family ‘closeness’ through her family and we probably see as much, if not more, of her family than we do our own.

chipsandgin · 01/09/2018 22:46

@namechangedyetagain so sorry for your loss, I can’t even imagine Flowers

PavlovaFaith · 01/09/2018 22:46

I only have a brother, he might as well be my twin. He's the only person I know who can outfox me and I'm the same for him (drives him nuts). I have never felt like I needed/wanted a sister. They all grow up fighting and hating each other's guts - then they grow up!

StepAwayFromGoogle · 01/09/2018 22:46

I love my brother to bits. He is awesome. Never once wanted a sister.

Doingthedo · 01/09/2018 22:46

2 brothers, no sisters...great relationship with both...never wanted a sister as all my friends with sisters hated them - 2 are NC with their sisters now

CrossFlannelCherry · 01/09/2018 22:46

I'm from a family of 3 girls and 2 boys. I was always much closer to my brothers growing up (one older and one younger than me). I'm still close to my older brother - he gave me away at my wedding and has always been there if I've needed him. Other brother lives in the Far East and doesn't have much to do with any of us. I get on well with one sister but I never really got on with the other one and we've been NC for many years. I have two grown up daughters who have never been particularly close, which is sad, but it is what it is.

eandh · 01/09/2018 22:47

When I was younger I was jealous of friends with sisters, but as I got older having a big brother and access to his friends was very big bonus 😳😳 my daughters argue a lot but occasionally have moments of what I can see will be an amazing friendship they are11 and almost 14 and learning that working as a team against us as parents is better than flying solo

sleepsleepandmoresleep · 01/09/2018 22:47

I'm the eldest, I have a brother two and a bit years younger than me and a half brother who is 13 years younger than me.

I am close to them both. The brother closest to me in age I grew up with and shared a home with until we were in our early twenties so we have a slightly different relationship to me and my other brother. We make the effort to see each other probably once a fortnight and he adores and spoils my DD. She loves him. We chat on the phone once or twice a week.

My youngest brother I didn't grow up in the same house as but we are still close and I love him to bits. He's at university now and we keep in touch regularly plus he uses me as a sounding board for his problems which I think is really nice. For a 20 year old lad who really isn't interested in children, he also makes a big effort to come and see/play with DD and I love that. My brothers are also close to each other, fairly frequently go and watch football matches together etc.

I wanted a sister when I was young, but I wouldn't change my brothers for anything.

didyouseetheflaresinthesky · 01/09/2018 22:48

They stink, drink milk from the carton and leave their pants on the kitchen counter. I've kept cleaner farm animals. I wouldn't consider her deprived. Grin

OrcinusOrca · 01/09/2018 22:48

I have two older brothers. Got on well with the eldest and bad with the younger of the two growing up. Get on with both ok now. Don't see them much or hear from them really. We have a family whatsapp group but if it wasn't for that I don't know when I'd speak to them. Not sure if I would have liked a sister, I would worry sex wouldn't make a difference and we still wouldn't have gotten on like one brother (he used to fall out with the other brother a lot too). I don't think my parents managed us well as siblings really.

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 01/09/2018 22:48

I have two brothers. Always been closer to my younger one (we’re closer in age and look more similar than older DB). I also have two DSs and a DD. She is closer to her younger DB too.

I think it’s nice to have a mix of boys and girls so that they grow up realising that the opposite sex aren’t aliens, that they can be just the same! I know she wishes she had a sister sometimes but I don’t think any sibling relationship would be closer than her and her little brother, they have always been friends and I hope always will be. When I see the problems between her and her female friends I’m quite thankful I don’t have two girls!

Squidgee · 01/09/2018 22:49

hated my brother growing up (he's a few years older). He still knows how to infuriate me.. however, as adults we are really close, we'd do anything for each other and are a really close-knit family who each have our strengths.
I wouldn't change him for the world (well... )

lewisg10 · 01/09/2018 22:50

I am one of 6 - I have 5 brothers (the only girl ;-)) Growing up, I would have loved a sister. I used to read all the Malory Towers books and used to dream that I went to boarding school and lived in a dormitory :-)
Growing up we didn't really get on - I think we were too close in age, and of course I was too cool to be seen with all these boys.

I have 3 boys of my own (no girls) - and my boys totally respect their uncles. As adults, we all have a good, close relationship. I get on really well with all my sister in laws. We are fortunate in still having both parents and regularly congregate there on Sundays. We also regularly have family holidays abroad - all 6 of us, wives, children etc.

MrsArthurShappey · 01/09/2018 22:55

I’ve got three big brothers and no sisters. I always wanted a baby sister when I was young, and I do sometimes feel envious of my best friend who has two sisters, but I wouldn’t change my situation. None of us are geographically close but when we get together we’re really tight. The best thing about having older brothers is their friends 😍😄

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