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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask ladies with brothers

159 replies

HaveSomeGrace · 01/09/2018 22:19

What kind of relationships do you have with your brothers? Did you ever want a sister? How many of you are there? Are you the youngest, eldest etc?

My daughter is 1 of 5 but no sisters. I wondered what it might be like for her as she grows as I won’t be able to give her a sister, ever.

OP posts:

MawkishTwaddle · 02/09/2018 02:12

My brother isn't a very nice person, so I don't get on with him, but not because he's a man.

I know lots of women who have great relationships with their brothers, it's just that mine's a dickhead.

QueenOfIce · 02/09/2018 02:53

Just me and my older brother, we are pretty close. We don't talk all the time but he lives fairly close by we see each other a decent amount. We are so different and our lives are poles apart but we can talk for hours.

He gave me away at my wedding and that made us much closer. He's a brilliant brother couldn't wish for better.

Torple · 02/09/2018 05:26

I have two younger brothers. One is close to me in age, we’ve never really got on, he has always had some kind of superiority thing going on for some reason, and his wife is the same.
We live near each other and kids are at same school so we are civil but that’s about all.
As a kid I was always amazed by brothers and sisters who were close, I assumed our situation was the norm.
My other brother is 7 years younger and lives abroad but we get on like a house on fire, phone ach other for chats, send texts when we think of something funny, whatever.
His relationship with our other brother is pretty much the same as mine.
Don’t know if me and my older brother would have got on better if he’d been a she, because it’s a personality clash, not a gender issue.

GhostCurry · 02/09/2018 06:24

Love having a brother. He’s like my male counterpart. We’re quite similar in many ways.

StitchingMoss · 02/09/2018 06:49

Two brothers whom I adore. One sister who I have no relationship with at all. Gender is no determiner of a relationship with siblings IME.

househunthappening · 02/09/2018 07:05

I have 2 sisters and a brother. I'm the youngest by quite a bit, closest age gap is 8 years and furthest is 13 years.

When I was small I was close to my eldest sister, but since we've all grown up I am undoubtedly closer to my brother. I would say he is my best friend in the world.

Wallywobbles · 02/09/2018 07:07

DH is youngest of 5 all boys except the eldest. They have a fab relationship. She brooks no shit from them.

tomhazard · 02/09/2018 07:17

I have one older brother and one older sister. Whilst as adults we all get along, I have much more in common with my brother and we are much more similar. As children I always played with my brother and never with my sister- we just weren't similar.

My DD has one little brother and won't be getting any more siblings. They adore each other at the moment but who knows. If they're not close as adults at least they'll have had a little buddy to play with as kids.

Ronnyhotdog · 02/09/2018 07:17

I have 1 older brother, haven’t seen him in years. We didn’t have a falling out we just have nothing at all in common or like each other very much, well he doesn’t like me. When we were growing up I idolised him, he used to tell me I’d ruined his life by being born. I send the occasional text asking how he’s doing, I get a good or fine in return. It’s quite sad.

wheezing · 02/09/2018 07:25

I would imagine with 4 of them she’s very likely to have a strong relationship with at least one as an adult.
I don’t think it’s about what sex the sibling is, but that when you’re an adult and living your own life if you don’t have much in common with your sibling you won’t end up spending much time with them.

I adored my younger brother growing up, I think my childhood would have been utterly miserable without him. As adults were not close just because we live completely different lives and have nothing really to talk about now, but I don’t dislike him, we’re not LC or NC or anything like that, just different people.

IAmAllAstonishment · 02/09/2018 07:25

I’m mid 20’s and DB is late teens. We have 8 years between us and have always been very close. Parents worked a lot growing up so I adopted a sudo parent role. As young adults (after parents retired) this diluted a bit but DB will still ring me should he not be able to reach mum. We see each other on a weekly basis as live nearby but don’t share social interests ( im old and patient enough to listen to his football match stories with impressive faux enthusiasm despite rarely understanding what he’s saying. He’s got far less interest in my boring settled down life )

I never missed having a sister I suppose you don’t miss what you don’t know. Although your home sounds very male heavy so that may be harder for your DD. If I were In your shoes I 100% would not feel guilty for not giving her a sister but I would actively set aside time for just you and her growing up.

If at all possible assign her her own bathroom once she hits ‘a certain age’. If you have an ensuite in your home I would probably give her it. If she is very girly then it’ll be hard for you to carve out time and space for her to do that as boys (Especially in mass) tend to overwhelm.

Nutkins24 · 02/09/2018 07:30

2 brothers, no sisters. We are close and get on well. Not phoning up for a gossip/advice type of relationship though. I never wanted a sister growing up but I felt I wanted my dd to have a sister so the feeling must have been in there somewhere. As it turns out she’s going to have a brother too. Lots of sisters I know actually don’t get on at all where as more brother sisters I know have pretty good relationships but not as close as the brother/brother sister/sisters I know who are close. Not sure if that makes any sense?!

OldGreyBoots · 02/09/2018 07:30

One older brother, no sisters, age difference of 6 years. We were very close growing up as I was never a "girly" girl and he wasn't into sports - we both preferred video games and we had quite a lot in common. Now at 21 and 27 we still get along well and share a hobby, most of our friends are mutual and we spend a lot of time together. At no point have I ever wanted a sister!

EdisonLightBulb · 02/09/2018 07:30

IMO girls with brothers are closer to younger ones than older ones. I am one of those, and have met many similar people. It's almost like girls nurture their younger brothers but boys see younger sisters as a nuisance growing up. I am generalising but I have seen it again and again.

Beaverhausen · 02/09/2018 07:31

As teenagers we fought like cat and dog but in our 20's and even now in our 40's we have a very close bond. I love my little brother to bits.

EdisonLightBulb · 02/09/2018 07:32

I always wanted a sister tough, it was very important to have a DD Andy I got lucky, she is fabulous, I love he really and DS equally but she is like the sister I never had and he is like a lovely son.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 02/09/2018 07:33

My brothers gay, so I kind of got both.

While we went through a typical stage of animosity in high school, for the most part we've always been close. I've honestly never wanted a sister and seeing how friends fought with their sisters was actually glad I never had to deal with that.

Kintan · 02/09/2018 07:35

I have two brothers. The older one I rarely see - no animosity, more indifference on both sides. My younger brother I consider one of my best friends. We see each other at least every fortnight and we go on holiday together a couple of times a year with our families. I have friends with sisters who don’t get on together, so it’s more personality than gender based. I wouldn’t worry about her not having sisters she won’t miss what she’s never had.

YesitsJacqueline · 02/09/2018 07:36

Just me and my brother we get on really well. I'm very close to his wife - its like having a sister !

Ratonastick · 02/09/2018 07:36

I have 2 brothers. They are both awesome and we are all very close. If the shit hits the fan, they are the first people I call. They also stepped in massively when XP left and have been incredible male friends, role models and influences to my DS. They both have lovely partners who they are adore. Basically they remind me daily that good men like that exist and none of us should lower our expectations for a partner.

Nutkins24 · 02/09/2018 07:42

Yea one of my brothers is the best uncle to my dd. She just adores him. So that’s nice too.

BikeRunSki · 02/09/2018 07:42

I’m the third of 4. Two older brothers, 1 younger sister. I have always adored my brothers and we have always been good friends. My relationship with my sister has always been strained, even as children.My sister and I have very, very different personalities, outlooks, interests, there is very little common ground. My brothers are like boy versions of me.

KitandPup · 02/09/2018 07:52

One brother, no sisters. He is 7 years older than me and we fought like cat and dog until I was about 18. Now he can sometimes drive me crazy but I consider him one of my best friends. I never felt I missed out by not having a sister

Lovelydovey · 02/09/2018 07:56

I’ve got three younger brothers - was worried about how I would interact with a daughter, but then had two DS so never had to face it. We’re all reasonably close - as far as 5000 miles allows.

Undervaluedandsad · 02/09/2018 08:01

2 brothers - they are close to each other, I often felt like an only child, I would have liked a sister.

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