To feel attracted to someone unattractive

[AmIBeingRealistic]

I was walking home one day past this guy, who I don’t know. Let’s call him A. A was well groomed, wearing suit and tie, clean shaven, etc. I looked at him, but didn’t feel attracted to him. He is not remotely attractive and most people would rate him a 3/10.

A few weeks later, I walked past an office and saw A playing with his son. I noticed him looking at me but didn’t think much else. Two days later, I was surprised to find out that A was in fact a respected member in the community. He gives lots of seminars and weekly talks on self development, life, etc. I’ve heard his name mentioned many times before by friends that attend and recommend his talks, but never seen or paid that much attention to him. He is also divorced and a single father.

So I decide to look up his talks on FB, and get hooked. His knowledge, confidence and personality shines throughout. After listening to so many talks, I felt extremely attracted to A and felt like I could look past his looks.

He is pale, bony, has chipped tooth, slightly hunched back and health complications. As weird as it sounds, I see him as a 10/10 look wise. I feel desire towards him and butterflies in my stomach when watching his videos. I even saw one video with a panel discussion, where there were around another 5 men along with him, and he appeared to be the least attractive of them all. There were two handsome panel speakers, but I didn’t feel anything towards them, but felt a burning sensation of desire and attraction towards A.

I am really thinking of getting things started with A. He shares custody between his ex wife. I have no kids myself, but willing to be a stepmother to young kids. I’ve never considered single dads previously, but now I’m willing to accept it without question.

Before I persue this, I want to know if it’s possible to sustain a relationship in the long term with someone who you initially viewed as unattractive. I’m now in a, you can call it honeymoon sort of phase, but when reality sets in, what will possibly happen? Will I just see A as the initial 3/10 and feel unsatisfied?

Is anyone here in a relationship with a partner who is unattractive, but they feel extremely attracted to them? AIBU to think you it’s possible to feel intense attraction towards an unattractive person?

Step away from this poor man.... Put your binoculars down and walk away...

I’m crying laughing at the hunchback of Nostradamus

Thanks OP, I’ve hooted laughing at this thread on a really tough morning!

Let this guy go, you’re always going to feel superior to him because you clearly rate yourself and don’t really rate him, and from your post it’s like you think you’re doing him a favour by bestowing your affections on him.

Reverse this, what if ‘can I date a woman who’s charasmatic, clever and a good mother and really attractive to me even though I think she’s a bit ugly?’... you sound like a dick.

FWIW, neither DH or I are ‘conventionally attractive’ and we fancy the pants off each other even after 11 years together. If other people find my partner attractive is somewhere near the bottom of my list of desirable attributes, do ythat u often worry about other people’s opinions of you?

It’s so romantic giving people marks out of 10. If anyone told me I used to be a 3 but they were prepared to raise it after seeing me in a panel discussion, I would unquestioningly fall into their arms.

😂

This thread is too much

Almost spat my Yorkshire tea out at hunchback of Nostradamus!

Op- I mean this kindly, you sound a touch obsessed and before you get swept away with visions of playing stepmother etc it would be wise to stop and think.

As much as I've had similar thoughts in the past usually towards Danny Dyer this man cannot be ordered into a relationship with you. How can you be sure he isn't in one already?

If he's as charming as you suggest then I'm pretty sure that there are other woman vying for his undivided attention.

I'm an attractive woman, not conventionally so but I've had the "admiring looks" from
People.
Doesn't mean anything really or I would have spent most of my life beating them off with a stick.

I know what I find attractive and I've also been surprised as I got older that it's not always the stereotypical talk dark and handsome.
My partner is short and bald but handsome- to me.

I think you need to strike up a conversation first with good old Nostradamus and see how it goes from there.
He may even be able to predict the future which may save you a lot of heartache.

hunchback of Nostradamus 😂😂😂

What shape or size dick do you like OP?

The second we lost that connected feeling, i ended it.

Reverse the genders, OP, and this will copy the plot of a hundred stalker/slasher movies....when the object of your desire rejects you.....I'm scared of you already..........! .....

@bamboofordinneragain 😂😂😂

The OP's handle and her post. I think she was tripping on something.

Is this the beginning plot for some kind of Shallow Hal-esque novel?

He looked at you once and you are already willing to be a step mother to his kids. Creeeeeeeeeepy

My husband and I are both very unattractive. Strangely, I have never fallen at the feet of an attractive man simply because he is good looking.

Don't assume this man will be desperate for you just because he isn't conventionally good looking. There's nothing in your OP to suggest he's even noticed you, let alone that he's attracted to you.

By all means, get to know him, but bear in mind that physically unattractive men (far more than women ) often have no difficulty whatsoever finding partners if they have a nice personality, are financially secure etc. You might have to get in a queue.

Are you tripping on acid OP?

It’s like the OP is a version of Eleanor Oliphant!

Why do I have the theme tune to Beauty and The Beast going off in my head?

AmIBeingRealistic in ‘I find a persons personality attractive’ shocker

OP you may find he doesn’t find you attractive or when you get to know him, you think he’s a knob . Go for it though

If he got some fake tan and went to the dentist do you think he could get to 4?

Oh i have to mark my place on this!

Will you be honest with him and say - at first i noticed you were a bit of a minger but well you have good social standing and i feel kinda sorry for you being a single dad and all" "well lucky you because ive decided we are going to have a relationship and i dont mind being your kids step mother"

Yes. Yhats deffo what you should say - can't go wrong

I think you really need to step back.

I suspect that you think because he isn't conventionally attractive he is going to be grateful and fall at your feet when you meet him.

You are stalking him. It's weird.

Attraction is complicated, he sounds charismatic - it’s not at all weird or surprising to be attracted to someone not conventionally attractive.

That’s the least odd thing in your post!

You’re definitely getting ahead of yourself. You’ve not even spoken to him yet. Your personalities might be incompatible. He might not like you. At this stage, there is nothing to pursue.

By all means get to know him better if you can, but I would be realistic about this. All you’ve done is seen a man you like the look of. There are a lot of steps before you’re anywhere close to considering a relationship.

PodgeHog I thought exactly that as I read the OP. Even to the stilted prose.

You're Shrek and Fiona aren't you OP?

Agree with twotailed. Of course you can be attracted to someone who isn’t conventionally attractive. I often find myself drawn to many people who aren’t ‘good looking’. I guess it’s charisma that’s more important. Who'd want to be stuck with an oil painting with no personality? There’s so much more to attraction but given you’ve barely met the man your post is very weird.