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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this woman was far ruder than me!

267 replies

YeOldeFishWife · 30/08/2018 15:37

Feeling a bit upset as this took place in front of my DS.

I was coming out of a shop and stopped at the front to put my purse in my bag. A woman approached with her DC to enter the shop. I admit I was blocking the entrance. She huffed a bit and walked around me, this got my back up a bit so as I walked off I said to DS, 'she only needed to say excuse me'.

The woman then shouted after me, 'no I didn't need to say excuse me at all'.

I saw red at this point and shouted that she had no manners, she said nor do you and called me a stupid cow.

I'm rather shocked and embarrassed my comment escalated to this and it shook me up tbh.

She didn't need to shout after me.

AIBU?

OP posts:

cookiesaurus · 30/08/2018 16:12

YWBU - you blocked the entrance & then made a comment about a woman who had done nothing wrong.

It's really annoying when you're in a rush as people always tend to either block the entrance, stop immediately after getting off an escalator or walk in a group of 3/4 all in a line!

Charolais · 30/08/2018 16:13

When I realize I am blocking someone I say sorry and move.

herworldoutsideit · 30/08/2018 16:13

Was it really an issue for her to have to walk around me or to have wait a few seconds for me to move out of her way
Not really, that's why she did it without insulting or attacking you.

Was it really such as issue for you to say 'sorry' when you realised you had absent mindedly blocked her way?

I think it's disgusting she called me a name in front of her DC and mine.
Yeah, it's kinda not great that you mortified your son by making rude narky comments to a stranger, who hadn't said anything to you, and then start yelling at them when they react to your rudeness.
.

Sounds like you were both in a bad mood and both didn't cover yourselves in glory. You're attempt to portray yourself as the victim though who has the moral high ground makes you worse though OP.

Reflect, learn, grow, move on.

Eliza9917 · 30/08/2018 16:13

AIBU?

Yes.

I'm rather shocked and embarrassed my comment escalated to this and it shook me up tbh.

She didn't need to shout after me.

Do you think you are entitled to walk around being rude to people without being challenged on it or have it given back to you?

The woman then shouted after me, 'no I didn't need to say excuse me at all'.

She didn't. You were blocking the doorway and should have apologised to her for doing so while moving out of the way.

I was coming out of a shop and stopped at the front to put my purse in my bag. A woman approached with her DC to enter the shop. I admit I was blocking the entrance.

Why? Would it really have been that hard to move a couple of steps over?

The entitlement in your post is shocking.

kaytee87 · 30/08/2018 16:14

Was it really an issue for her to have to walk around me or to have wait a few seconds for me to move out of her way

Was it really an issue for you to apologise when you realised you were in her way instead of making a PA comment and starting an argument?

Aspenfrost · 30/08/2018 16:14

Anger management? So now the OP requires such a thing? Some posters are exaggerating and enjoying it. That is rather uncalled for.

BeefyCakes · 30/08/2018 16:15

Standing in the door way is rude in itself.

Muttering was rude.

You started and escalated it.

So yes YABVVVVU.

YeTalkShiteHen · 30/08/2018 16:16

Aspen actually I think if OP is the kind of person who thinks it’s acceptable to start a public argument and then escalate it without realising her own role in any of it, then yes, she does need some kind of help to manage her anger.

It’s not how the vast majority of people behave.

Bestseller · 30/08/2018 16:16

Blimey, you were awful.

I can't imagine any situation where it would be OK to make such a comment to your child, although you weren't really talking to him were you?

Bluntness100 · 30/08/2018 16:16

You have no idea how people might react

This.

I'd have said nothing just huffed a bit like the woman in the op if some twat was blocking the door way, but the PA comment to your son and then shouting at me that I had no manners, would have resulted in something a shit ton worse than you being called a stupid cow.

Be careful who you try to bully. As you've found. Not everyone takes it. And some of us take it much worse than this woman you were bothering.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 30/08/2018 16:16

Do you also stop at the end of escalators and on the entrance to train platforms? You should try it, you could really inconvenience people then.

BlueSky198080 · 30/08/2018 16:16

You were totally unreasonable

Monkee4 · 30/08/2018 16:18

Everyone seems to think you were rude. I hate to disagree but.... I am sure you would have said sorry if she had said excuse me. As you said you were just trying to get yourself straight. IMO no one says excuse me. I have had people squeeze themselves past me in a tiny tiny gap rather than speak and say excuse me (and I am talking about in a general aisle type situation here or they are behind me and need to pass - ie I am not deliberately blocking them as I can't see them) It seems that some people are unable to engage with anyone anymore - I call it the point and click syndrome. If you can't point and click and move it or order it online without conversation then people don't know how to behave.

Picklypickles · 30/08/2018 16:18

People get distracted all the time, that's life, shit happens its hardly the end of the world being kept from you terribly important trip to a shop for 3 seconds. It is generally considered polite to say excuse me when you want to get past someone (however in the wrong they may be) and rude and a bit silly to huff and puff and flounce about it.

YeTalkShiteHen · 30/08/2018 16:19

Bluntness100 exactly!

None of us know what is going on in the lives of the people we pass in shops, out and about, on public transport on a daily basis.

Where I live a PA comment like that would have escalated, badly.

supersop60 · 30/08/2018 16:20

Sorry Op - YWBU. When she tried to get through the door, you should have apologised.

BarbaraofSevillle · 30/08/2018 16:21

Let me guess OP, as well as stopping in shop doorways, you also stop at the top and bottom of escalators and the beginning of the taped off lines at airport security? Do you find that people bump into the back of you a lot?

Top tip, use the time just before you get to such places to think about where you want to go when you get there and if you find that you need to stop to put your purse away, or find your passport etc, step to the side and do it without holding everyone else up .

kitkatsky · 30/08/2018 16:21

Would it really have been an issue for you to move 2 feet sideways by your own logic OP?

MissConductUS · 30/08/2018 16:21

*Do you also stop at the end of escalators and on the entrance to train platforms?

Never, ever do this in New York City. There is zero tolerance for this type of behavior.

NasdaqYouTwat · 30/08/2018 16:23

@Bluntness100 would you have hit her?

YeTalkShiteHen · 30/08/2018 16:24

Never, ever do this in New York City. There is zero tolerance for this type of behavior

Zero tolerance in Glasgow too!

Bluntness100 · 30/08/2018 16:24

No of course I wouldn't have hit her 😱

But some might have.

morningtoncrescent62 · 30/08/2018 16:26

So for next time...

Try to remember not to stop where you're blocking the entrance. If you forget (it happens, it's not a big deal) and someone huffs as they walk around you instead of saying 'excuse me', well, that's mildly passive aggressive and their issue. You don't have to respond with passive aggression of your own. A simple 'Oh, I'm so sorry' when you realise what's happened will be all that's needed to make sure you both leave the situation with no hard feelings. You'll find that apologising when you're in the wrong to start with, especially if with a smile, will help you calm down from your annoyance with another person's passive aggression much more effectively than joining in.

SandraTheBee · 30/08/2018 16:27

It drives me up the wall when people block doorways, stand in the narrowest part of a supermarket aisle so no one can get past etc

However we have all been distracted and done stuff like that. I have got annoyed when people have pushed past me instead of saying 'excuse me'. If the do say 'excuse me' I will immediately move and apologise for being in the way.
You were in the 'wrong' to be blocking the doorway but shit like that happens, try your best to stand in a better pace.
You were wrong to make a PA comment to her.

Havaina · 30/08/2018 16:27

I'm rather shocked and embarrassed my comment escalated to this and it shook me up tbh.

Translated: 'I'm shocked my comment didn't prompt her to apologise to me and instead she stood up to me.'

She didn't need to shout after me.

Translated: 'She didn't need to have her say or the last word.'

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