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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman was far ruder than me!

267 replies

YeOldeFishWife · 30/08/2018 15:37

Feeling a bit upset as this took place in front of my DS.

I was coming out of a shop and stopped at the front to put my purse in my bag. A woman approached with her DC to enter the shop. I admit I was blocking the entrance. She huffed a bit and walked around me, this got my back up a bit so as I walked off I said to DS, 'she only needed to say excuse me'.

The woman then shouted after me, 'no I didn't need to say excuse me at all'.

I saw red at this point and shouted that she had no manners, she said nor do you and called me a stupid cow.

I'm rather shocked and embarrassed my comment escalated to this and it shook me up tbh.

She didn't need to shout after me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TomHardyswife · 31/08/2018 08:41

Hmmm

You were both a bit unreasonable to be honest.

I hate it when people stop dead for whatever reason and block high traffic areas in shops etc. (And for security reasons, I always put my purse in my bag at the till.)

I think I would have automatically said "sorry" when I realised I was blocking the entranceway.

But she should have said "excuse me" and she hasn't exactly set a great example to her DCs for yelling "I shouldn't have to say excuse me"

End of school holidays. I think all parents are a bit tense at the moment!

Fluffyears · 31/08/2018 09:06

It not a reverse ad your second update shows.

I hate people like you, walk through a doorway and stop dead, stop at the end of a escalator-hellooo we’re still moving, hold everyone up boarding a plan whilst they stow their bag, take their coat off get stuff needs for flight from bag in overhead, talk to pal who is across the aisle. Be aware of where you stand as others need to get past and shouldnoy need to say excuse me as you shouldn’t be there anyway.

My pet hate is supermarket stop and chatters happily blocking the aisles whiletbthey chat shite with some other idiot they are acquainted with. I got into an exchange with one in Asda, totally blocking the shelf and I tried to reach round and the stupid gud said ‘you could just say excuse me!’ Well that was it ‘no i shouldn’t have to, this is a supermarket where people shop. If you must have a fab go to the cafe or phone each other. Do not block other people’ I often just shove past folk who block aisles to make a point, it makes me a cf but I don’t care they are luckily not to get a trolley in the colon!

Fluffyears · 31/08/2018 09:07

Argh typos

Pornstarlips · 31/08/2018 10:11

Gosh Ive been laughing so hard. A reverse, my arse. Thanks for the giggles

Bluntness100 · 31/08/2018 10:38

Ah, poor op.

Op you inadvertently struck gold here. Everyone hates the people who simoly stop in inappropriate places. Stairs, busy pavements, shop doorways, shop aisles. You basically put a sticker on your head and came on to 16 million people on mumsnet and shouted "its me, it's me, I'm that person".

It wouldn't have mattered if the other woman kicked your ankles and chucked rotting tomatoes at you, simply telling everyone you were THAT person was always going to be a show stopper.

Theresnodisneyending · 31/08/2018 10:44

This is not a mother fucking reverse. No one would go to that much trouble to write a "reverse" when all they would have to say is "someone was blocking the door, who was BU".

You little liar.

Desmondo2016 · 31/08/2018 10:50

If it were a reverse how would you know what her son said (second post).

Aspenfrost · 31/08/2018 11:02

I feel this encounter really did take place. People should stand by their threads. Otherwise they have little - or no - credibility.

poobumwee · 31/08/2018 11:12

If i blocked an entrance I would be the one to apologise. Yabu

Deadheadstickeronacadillac · 31/08/2018 11:28

I'm in a wheelchair op, please explain to me how I can just go around you when you are selfishly blocking a doorway?
I can't just sidestep, it is a series of manoeuvres to turn the chair on my own as I don't have a carer.
I bet you would've made PA remarks about me as well because I sure as hell wouldn't be polite about asking you to get yourself out of the way and stop being so bloody selfish.
YWBVVVVVVVVU and really you are just a self centred cow.

Wimbledonwomble · 31/08/2018 11:36

You inadvertently blocked the door - I've been guilty of this as I get easily distracted, I'm not a rude person. If she had said a chirpy "excuse me" you, no doubt, would've responded in the same tone ("oops, I'm so sorry"). I can understand you being irritated by her huffing (after all you didn't do it on purpose) and get why you responded how you did, though obviously not ideal. It would've been far better to have still apologised in a friendly tone and hopefully she would've accepted your apology - all smiles, end of. You know what followed was unnecessary and rude from both of you and a bad example to the children present.

It makes me sad how people go rushing round all stressed and miserable, finding fault with others. Life is too short!

Bestseller · 31/08/2018 11:38

I don't think absentmindedly stopping in front of the door is the worst crime but on realising your were in someone's way the only correct response is "oh sorry" and moving

Louiselouie0890 · 31/08/2018 11:40

Definitely yabu

Wimbledonwomble · 31/08/2018 12:13

I don't think absentmindedly stopping in front of the door is the worst crime but on realising your were in someone's way the only correct response is "oh sorry" and moving

Exactly! Are people not allowed to make mistakes any more? Are those of you berating op for absentmindely blocking the door perfect?

thebeesknees123 · 31/08/2018 12:17

Yes. Oh sorry if you are blocking
Excuse me if you blocked.
No need for drama.
If I do get disproportionately het up, it's down to other stressors. Objectively, someone in my way is rarely a big problem in itself

InsomniacAnonymous · 31/08/2018 14:04

I don't know why people are claiming the OP either "inadvertently" or "absentmindedly" blocked the door. There's nothing in her posts to indicate that she didn't knowingly block the door because she wanted to put her purse in her bag there and then and as far as she was concerned people can and should just walk round her.

A reasonable person makes sure they get out of the way before they stop and do something like that, but we all know through bitter experience that there are plenty of people who wouldn't dream of considering other people. They just do what they want when they want and that's all they care about.

Winterbella · 31/08/2018 14:10

If someone is blocking your way then you should say excuse me rather than barging past them. If you were blocking someone you should always apologise, you were both as rude as each other and both in the wrong, as neither of you had the manners to do what you should've.

Bestseller · 31/08/2018 14:31

Something similar happened to me years ago, it's it's rather embarrassing that I can remember! I was young, going to my first job by train on one of the old slam door trains where the doors were between two rows of seats facing each other. When a carriage was full, your knees touched.

I used to get on at the start of the line when there was plenty of space and settle down with my book. A few strops later I was sitting, legs crossed, engrossed in my book to be disturbed by someone barking "are you going to move then?" Which I did, with apologies. It was only afterwards I wished I'd said "you only had to say excuse me" but of course it would have been the wrong thing to do even though he was rude. How would it have helped the situation?

thebeesknees123 · 31/08/2018 14:57

Say, with a false smile, since you ask so nicely

Original poster
YeOldeFishWife · 31/08/2018 16:56

Don't know why it so unbelievable that this is a reverse Confused

I like a good old reverse myself.

I was trying to see the other woman's pov which painted me in the worst possible light obviously. I am pretty sure I didn't huff and puff and certainly did not barge. As I previously said I barely registered the woman.

I didn't say to say excuse me to her. I didn't need to. I just walked around her.

Thinking about it now, I think the stupid old boot probably realised she was blocking the way and took offence that I didn't beg her to moveHmm It was very odd.

I know there are lots of awful people out there. It's still shocking when you come face to face with them though I suppose.

OP posts:
LuluBellaBlue · 31/08/2018 17:01

If you had of smiled super sweetly at her and said loudly ‘I’m so sorry!’ I’m sure you would have received a far better reflection and made her look silly for huffing over such a non event

LuluBellaBlue · 31/08/2018 17:05

FFS I now see it’s a reverse but tbh the reverse sounds like a totally different account of the first post Hmm

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 31/08/2018 17:05

I know there are lots of awful people out there

Yes you being one of them.

stupid old boot Hmm

longwayoff · 31/08/2018 17:08

You are a stupid cow.

LonginesPrime · 31/08/2018 17:15

OP, I find the fact you (allegedly) went from publicly calling someone a stupid cow (hopefully Kat Slater style: 'YOU CAAH!') IRL before popping onto MN and daintily referring to her as a 'stupid old boot' rather amusing.