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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this woman was far ruder than me!

267 replies

YeOldeFishWife · 30/08/2018 15:37

Feeling a bit upset as this took place in front of my DS.

I was coming out of a shop and stopped at the front to put my purse in my bag. A woman approached with her DC to enter the shop. I admit I was blocking the entrance. She huffed a bit and walked around me, this got my back up a bit so as I walked off I said to DS, 'she only needed to say excuse me'.

The woman then shouted after me, 'no I didn't need to say excuse me at all'.

I saw red at this point and shouted that she had no manners, she said nor do you and called me a stupid cow.

I'm rather shocked and embarrassed my comment escalated to this and it shook me up tbh.

She didn't need to shout after me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Clairetree1 · 30/08/2018 15:55

You blocked the door, then you were rude. You were the rudest by far

Bluntness100 · 30/08/2018 15:55

To be honest I think you're just shocked and embarrassed she called you out on your bad behaviour.

That's the thing about being shitty to strangers, you never know how they are going to react. This one stood up to you. The next might punch you one.

itallhappensforareason · 30/08/2018 15:55

If I was you I would have just apologised to her. There was no need for you to make a rude comment at all. You were the one in the wrong for blocking the doorway.

QuizzlyBear · 30/08/2018 15:56

You started it! If you don't want people to say shitty passive aggressive things within your hearing, I suggest you don't say things within theirs.

And btw, the correct response when you find yourself blocking someone else is 'sorry'.

Rebecca36 · 30/08/2018 15:56

You started it. How embarrassing for your child.

colditz · 30/08/2018 15:57

You were in the wrong, and you actually were the rudest. You blocked the door (so you offended first) and when she expressed annoyance with a change in her breathing pattern, YOU made a passive aggressive remark to YOUR child thereby involving him and ensuring the whole thing happened in front of him. When she replied to YOUR comment, you were rude AGAIN

You had three opportunities to deescalate the situation YOU caused and you chose to escalate every single time.

Your fault. You're rude.

QuarterMileAtATime · 30/08/2018 15:58

You caused the problem and then you passed comment on her first. You were more unreasonable but you both should be able to behave better in front of your children.

ciderhouserules · 30/08/2018 15:58

Oh God there is a certain type of person who stops in doorways, or finds the narrowest point of any thoroughfare (shops, supermarkets, pavements) and stands there with a buggy, pram, shopping trolley or just rifling through the handbag (or pockets, men do it too). They are inconsiderate, unaware people.

They also stop at the top of escalators, and wonder why people coming up behind them bump into them.

You were in the wrong, OP. And I wish I had the front (or the time) to call these twats out on it.

FoodGloriousFud · 30/08/2018 15:59

So selfish blocking the doorway for others, I hate people with no awareness of others.

POPholditdown · 30/08/2018 15:59

she said nor do you and called me a stupid cow.

Yabvvvvu. You should have replied ‘I know you are but what am I?’

BitOutOfPractice · 30/08/2018 15:59

I don't think either of you covered yourself in glory to be honest

Blocking entrances is really annoying though. Don't do it

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/08/2018 15:59

It's the same type of person who is surprised at the till that they need their bloody purse out to pay. Did you think it was free you numpty?

SausageOnAFork · 30/08/2018 15:59

She didn’t need to say excuse me because you shouldn’t have been in the way. Why stop and block the doorway? A couple more steps would have been enough. Any why make a passive aggressive comment to your child?

GoofyIsACow · 30/08/2018 16:01

YWBU

EB123 · 30/08/2018 16:01

Surely the only comment you should have made was to say sorry when you realised you were blocking the doorway

MotsDHeureGoussesRames · 30/08/2018 16:02

YWBU and the ruder party.

Thatsfuckingshit · 30/08/2018 16:02

Why do people do that? Walk away from the counter and stop in the door way?

And to be honest I think PA comments are cowardly and snidey. I think she was right to challenge you. Why do you think you should be able to make a snarky comment and not have anyone say anything back?

Having said all this, I do think this is a reverse.

YeTalkShiteHen · 30/08/2018 16:03

You can’t whinge that it happened in front of your son when you’re the one who brought him into it with that ridiculously passive aggressive dig.

Next time, just don’t block a doorway, or make passive aggressive comments when you’re already in the wrong to random strangers!

I have to say if you’d said it to me, my response would have been a lot worse than hers!

SimonBridges · 30/08/2018 16:03

So you made a petty comment and then shouted at her but you are upset because she shouted back?

Original poster
YeOldeFishWife · 30/08/2018 16:03

OK. I guess I was BU. DS is pretty horrified and said I was shoutingBlush. I think it's disgusting she called me a name in front of her DC and mine.

Was it really an issue for her to have to walk around me or to have wait a few seconds for me to move out of her wayConfused

OP posts:
NonJeNeRegretteRien · 30/08/2018 16:04

Oh good grief.

Honestly, yes, YABU to think it’s okay to not employ any common sense, inconvenience people, and then act like a victim thereafter... are you 10?

YeTalkShiteHen · 30/08/2018 16:04

Was it really an issue for her to have to walk around me or to have wait a few seconds for me to move out of her way

That’s ironic given that you made such an issue of her showing her annoyance.

I’m willing to bet that if you’d just walked off without muttering snide comments nothing more would have been said.

Bluntness100 · 30/08/2018 16:05

Op, the issue was you were rude to her. You started it then you escalated it. She simply stood up to you and gave as good as she got.

Why the fuck shouldn't she? Why should she just take it from you?

SevernWye · 30/08/2018 16:06

How can you possibly think you were not the one in the wrong here. You were very rude.

FishesThatFly · 30/08/2018 16:06

My mum is like the OP and makes comments about people or huffs, puffs and tuts to show her displeasure.

She is then shocked when others call her out on it.

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