What's reasonable here?

[hotstepper4]

Last week, myself and dh went to a fete with our 4 dc - my ds7 and his dc, my dss8, dss5 and dsd10.

Dsd wanted to go on the bouncy castle, so she took off the charm bracelet she was wearing, and gave it to dh to hold on to. He put it in his fleece pocket.

Later, there was a sudden downpour of rain. Torrential and totally unexpected. All the dc were only wearing t shirts, dh hurriedly took his hoody off and put it on dss5. We were then running across a field to get shelter.

When we got home, dh took his hoody off dss5, and we realised that the charm bracelet was missing. We think it must have fallen out of the pocket when dss5 was running.

Dh exw has gone mental, apparently the bracelet was a Pandora one and is worth 500.00. We had no idea.

She is demanding we replace it. We don't have that kind of money. Dh thinks she shouldn't have allowed dsd to wear such an expensive bracelet to begin with.

Who is being u?

If you/DH hadn't been warned, there's no way it's your fault.

If someone told me a visiting child was wearing a £500 bracelet (!), it would be taken off and kept safe at home while we were out, and put back on child's wrist 5 mins before pick-up.

I'm always warning the children that anything they take with them/wear on days out might get lost. Kids lose stuff. They try not to, but sometimes it happens, esp when you're juggling four of them.

I think you should probably pay but I can’t inagine it costs £500 - ask for proof of the cost before handing over the money.

It's your dhs fault unfortunately so the right thing to do would be for him to replace it .
Obviously £500 is a lot of money to just pull out though !

You don't have to replace it in one go. You can buy the bracelet now and add charms once in a while.

teresting been on Amazon wonder where she got bracelet from & how many charms

But these are not genuine Pandora charms. The daughter apparently had Pandora charms.

IMO if a child is young enough to be on a bouncy castle she is too young to be entrusted with £500 worth of jewellery

I had a friend who ghosted me every time I had a baby, then months later would talk to me again. I haven't heard from her in 3 months now, she blanked me after I moved house. I've deleted her now and I'm never going to talk to her again even if she eventually gets on touch. Can't be arsed with her mind games.

He should have looked after it no matter the price. What if it had sentimental value instead of monetary? Would it still just be tough luck.
If someone asks you to look after something, and you agree, no matter how much it is worth you have taken responsibility for it.
Maybe have more care and consideration for other people's possessions.
If my DS asked me to look after something that cost £1, I would if it made him happy, would i just throw it away because it wasn't worth it?
I agree £500 is a lot of money, you wouldn't need to worry about it if he's actually looked after it correctly in the first place, that's no ones fault but his, and as a grown adult he needs go take responsibility for his careless actions.

Sorry, wrong thread!

Some of the charms are £70 and upwards (I know there are less pricier ones) but it's not that difficult to imagine the bracelet costing that much

In this situation I don't think you're responsible for replacing it. Did she know you were going to a fete? If so then she shouldn't have sent her with it on.

Who buys a 10 year old a £500 bracelet?? And lets them wear it on a day out when they will be playing like a child because, you know....they're a CHILD?!

I actually see why her mother is upset . I have a relative who gets pandora charms for every special occasion so they're sentimental for example a pram charm for her son being born, various birthday / Christmas ones , one for passing her driving test , one for starting her new job ect . Each charm represents an event in her life so it may not just be the financial value she is upset about .
Genuine pandora charms are fairly pricey , some of them £100+ , lots of them at least £40/50 !

CripsSandwiches

He isn't her friend and she isn't an adult. He is her dad. He took voluntary responsibility for something precious to his child. He needs to replace it when he can and apologise.

I am surprised you can spend £500.00 on Pandora. Sorry I can't get over the fact you can. Have a look on eBay.

The child was clearly responsible with the bracelet, she took it off and gave it to her Father, who she thought was a responsible adult, who should have looked after it, no matter how much it was worth.

I'm amazed people think the Mother, who wasn't even there is at fault, she didn't lose it and neither did the child.

What sort of fool sends a 10 YO to the fair wearing a £500 bracelet, or even buys them one at all?

^^ This! with bells on!!

I don't agree that he accepted responsibility for it. If she was so bothered she should have kept it safe at home and likelihood is that if she had told him about it he would have got her to leave it there

Have you tried to find it?

Did the pocket have a zip, if it did and your dh didn't pull it up then I'd say he does have some responsibility

You did the child a favour. The last thing you want is her to grow up thinking that wearing Pandora charm braclets is an acceptable lifestyle choice. Re paying for it, I think it's unreasonable to send children out in expensive things and expect them to survive. It's not like the bracelet needs to be replaced and she would never get the £500 back if she sold it. I would consider giving her the resale value as a gesture I suppose.

£500.00 for a Pandora ... are you sure? These are cheap as chips .... you should be able to pick up a replacement cheap enough

I thought something along those lines

https://uk.pandora.net/en/bracelets/charm-bracelets/?src=categorySearch&position=top

Not £500 though?

Stupid giving a child anything of that value to wear.

Tacky

However your dh was responsible for it so should replace

Ps they don't cost that much

If it probably fell out the hoody pocket when dss5 was running, then technically he is the one who lost it, not your DH. However, he is only 5, and maybe didn't even know he had it, so of course, you can't blame him (and I'm not implying it's his fault). In fact, it isn't anyone's fault really; it was an accident that no one could have predicted happening - you couldn't have know it was going to start pouring down, that it would fall out the pocket, and you certainly didn't know how expensive it was. I believe exw should have warned you about the bracelet and its value so that you could make your own decisions as to whether or not you thought it was appropriate and sensible to wear it to a fete, or during any other activity. Definitely don't give her the £500 upfront. You can't afford it so I second pp suggestions that over time, when your budget allows, you dh buys charms to replace the ones that have been lost.