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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you believe Women can't have penises?

888 replies

loveyouradvice · 28/08/2018 14:36

Just that really.... inspired by the recent sticker campaign.... "Women can't have penises" and "Some women have penises"....

Simple question - simple answer.

Me - Yes, I believe women can't have penises.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
YetAnotherSpartacus · 31/08/2018 14:15

Irish is on the wind-up isn't he?

Datun · 31/08/2018 14:15

The sooner you get on board the easier it will be for everyone.

Hahaha. You can't even pretend to be a decent person.

Datun · 31/08/2018 14:16

Irish is on the wind-up isn't he?

Definitely.

Datun · 31/08/2018 14:17

As Lang often notes, the shares in Kleenex are only going one way.

PositivelyPERF · 31/08/2018 14:18

I have a daughter. When she is older, I think this hysteria around allowing trans women their rights will have died down, and people will wonder what all the fuss was about.

So you’re happy for your daughter to join girl guilds and share a tent/room with a 15yr old boy, who says he’s a girl? Keeping in mind he will still have his cock and balls, and may identify as a lesbian.

Are you happy for your daughter to share a open shower/changing area, where he can walk around naked, in front of your daughter? Don’t worry, he’s a girl, so it doesn’t matter if he sees your young daughter’s naked body, either, does it?

Noqont · 31/08/2018 14:18

The sooner you get on board the easier it will be for everyone

Lol. I'm sure it would be easier for men at any rate. That won't be happening though. I will not be getting on board with the errosion of women and children's safety and rights, so get on board with that or crawl back into the hole where you came from.

SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace · 31/08/2018 14:19

What if your son came to you believing himself to be trans? Word you look at him as a rapist, a pervert? I understand women's fears around sometime they don't understand, but this is real and it's happening. The sooner you get on board the easier it will be for everyone

If I had a son and found myself in that situation, I guess I'd want to hear more about what aspects of masculinity and maleness were concerning him, and just talk about it and try to understand as best I could. I'm not sure how that could be a bad thing?

Obviously I wouldn't think it meant he was a pervert or a rapist Confused.

Datun · 31/08/2018 14:26

I'm loving the idea that men's rights will just 'die down' if everyone gets onboard.

Fromage · 31/08/2018 14:36

IrishDadof2 might be a wind up merchant, but the thing is, he is saying what plenty are thinking.

So, IrishDadof2 you don't find transwomen attractive because they look like men, to paraphrase. If a transwoman were so feminine that she passed, that no one would know she were trans unless they saw her naked, would you find her attractive? Or is it simply the knowledge that she is male that turns you off?

"The sooner you get on board....." Oh dear. You seem to be a man telling women what to think. Well that can only end well.

About your daughter: when she is passed over for promotion because a transwoman isn't going to do something inconvenient like go on maternity leave, when she can't possibly win a race against her male-bodied competitors, when she doesn't get a place on a female shortlist because it's taken by a transwoman who has never been held back professionally due to be being a man for most of their life, when she can't request a female nurse to do her smear test because that's transphobic and she has to have a non-passing transwoman do it, when she feels physically threatened by a much larger, stronger person with a penis threatening her, will you tell her "I understand your fears around something you don't understand, but this is real and it's happening. The sooner you get on board the easier it will be for everyone?"

How do you expect her to respond?

And by the way, you do NOT understand women full stop. You don't understand what we fear, what we face, or what we've seen and experienced. It's laughable that you are telling women they don't understand, when you are refusing to even accept what you are being told by women.

If my son came to me and said he was trans, there would be a lot of discussion. And I would tell him he is perfect as he is, and if he choses to wear make up and frilly skirts, it's fine by me. And if he wanted to transition, as an adult, it would be with my full support. If he claimed he was female, his brain was female, that he deserved to be on the female only shortlists and any woman who feared him because he was trans was a violent terf, he and I would be Having Words. And I would consider that I had failed as a parent if my child didn't understand why women have reasons to fear men.

It's the acts of a minority of violent abusive scum-sucking men, that have caused most women to be wary of ALL men - do you understand why that is? Have you been told why, and actually listened, or did you work that one out for yourself? Because from your posts, it really does seem as if you don't know why we are cautious around men and transwomen, and why we fear for our safety, and our rights, and those of our children.

IrishDadof2 · 31/08/2018 14:36

If a parent is ok with their daughter showering with cisgender girls, some of whom may be lesbian, then it's irrational to have an issue with them showering with a trans girl.

BlooperReel · 31/08/2018 14:38

Can I ask all those championing Self ID, and saying 'live and let live', how many rapes, murders, assaults by males abusing Self ID will it take before the light bulb flicks on and you come to the realisation that maybe this wasn't such a great idea? How many women and children are you willing to sacrifice on the altar of inclusiveness?

Because it will happen. In fact it HAS happened, in countries where self ID has been established, and is happening here in the UK.

So come on, how many lives need to be ruined before you agree that this is a shit show?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 31/08/2018 14:39

I remember when I was little I would my watch so much that it broke.

BlooperReel · 31/08/2018 14:39

If a parent is ok with their daughter showering with cisgender girls, some of whom may be lesbian, then it's irrational to have an issue with them showering with a trans girl.

Fuck off mate, seriously.

AnEPleaseBob · 31/08/2018 14:39

If a parent is ok with their daughter showering with cisgender girls, some of whom may be lesbian, then it's irrational to have an issue with them showering with a trans girl

Lesbians don't have penises. Are you ok with your daughter showering with people with penises?
Yes or no?
And what if your daughter does not want to shower with penises? Will you tell her to shut up and accept it, as you have told us?

AnEPleaseBob · 31/08/2018 14:43

I understand women's fears around sometime they don't understand, but this is real and it's happening. The sooner you get on board the easier it will be for everyone

Yeah women, shut the fuck up and do as the men tell you to, or we'll just fucking make you do it. We don't care about your needs or wishes anyway.

Is that how you're raising your daughter?

Frequency · 31/08/2018 14:45

If a parent is ok with their daughter showering with cisgender girls, some of whom may be lesbian, then it's irrational to have an issue with them showering with a trans girl

Yeah, you hear all the time about lesbians assaulting young women with their penises, don't you?

Datun · 31/08/2018 14:46

Just ignore the troll.

Datun · 31/08/2018 14:47

Some MRAs find it a turn on to wind up women.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 31/08/2018 14:49

I suspect that Kleenex is too upmarket - he's using cheap, scratchy toilet roll.

BertrandRussell · 31/08/2018 15:00

"What if your son came to you believing himself to be trans? Word you look at him as a rapist, a pervert?"
No.
But I would not think it was fair if he was allowed to compete as a girl in any of the sports he now competes in as a boy. And I would not think it was fair if he was allowed to join any of the initiatives his school has set up to increase girl's participation in STEM. And I very much hope he would understand that girls might be wary of sharing a tent with him or showering with him.

Fromage · 31/08/2018 15:05

If a parent is ok with their daughter showering with cisgender girls, some of whom may be lesbian, then it's irrational to have an issue with them showering with a trans girl.

If she is a trans girl. If she truly is so dysphoric that she can't bear to be male, can't wait to transition, truly means no ill and is no threat to any female because she is sexually attracted to boys and men, and is entirely harmless - well yes, the girls are in no danger. They might feel embarrassed, humiliated, scared, violated even, but they're not in danger, are you OK with that? But how many transgirls of, say, 13 go on to transition? Do you know how many children seen by the Tavistock clinic don't go on to transition? Most of them. Most of them do not transition. Most of them are not truly trans. Statistically, it's likely that that includes the teenager with a penis in the shower with your daughter.

And by the way, women don't leer and letch threatening over other women, and they don't sexually attack each other - or at least, almost never. On the other hand, transwomen have attacked women, have raped and beaten and assaulted women, have encouraged and suggested and expressed hope that targetted women will be hurt in this way. This is why lesbians aren't a problem but someone saying they're a transwoman might be.

Answer my earlier question, please. Why are women afraid of men, when it's only a minority of men (and I'm going to assume the same is true of transwomen for the sake of arguement) who are violent, abusive, and/or rapists? What is our problem with a harmless man or transwoman, why do we fear them?

IrishDadof2 · 31/08/2018 15:05

Yeah, you hear all the time about lesbians assaulting young women with their penises, don't you?

You don't need a penis to rape. From my own experience in communal showers I didn't inspect other peoples genitals. And even if there was nothing there I couldn't care less. Why can't you just treat others like you want to be treated?

PlantsArePeopleToo · 31/08/2018 15:07

You don't need a penis to rape.

Actually you do.

PlantsArePeopleToo · 31/08/2018 15:09

I think this hysteria around allowing trans women their rights will have died down

What rights do transwomen not have?

DodoPatrol · 31/08/2018 15:09

Take the genders out of it, as no one can prove what a gender is or who has which one.

What you mean, from the parent's point of view, is: If a parent is ok with their daughter showering with girls, then it's irrational to have an issue with them showering with a boy.

You also mean, from your daughter's point of view about her own body (which matters more than her dad's, or did you miss that memo?):
If a girl is OK showering with girls, then it's irrational to have an issue with showering with a boy.

Why?