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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can’t believe what a cf my colleague is!!!!

338 replies

LondonElle · 28/08/2018 14:21

Long story short, I have a work colleague with four children who was struggling to make ends meet, I recently upgraded my 7 seater vehicle and after seeing her struggling to get her kids to school in the rain on bikes and on foot I decided to gift her the car instead of selling it ( car wasn’t worth loads but I estimate I would have got about £500/ £1000 for it )
So she’s thrilled and happily uses the car to do her shopping/ school runs etc
6 weeks later she invites me around for a bbq... I see the car isn’t in the driveway so ask about it and she tells me they have sold it to buy a top of the range bbq and to book a weekend break!!! I was speechless and still am!!!! I know there’s nothing I can do but I’m shocked how cheeky she is and I’m not too keen to maintain this friendship any further..... I think she could tell by my face I wasn’t very impressed...!! Do I say something?!

OP posts:
Lockheart · 28/08/2018 22:11

Well as long as she’s happy with her decision when she’s trekking through the rain in winter and the BBQ is gathering dust in the shed...

Not much you can do, but if it were me I’d certainly not be so generous with gifts in future!

Whipsmart · 28/08/2018 22:14

How can people be so utterly clueless that they're being incredibly cheeky? It's a shame your generosity was wasted on her OP. on the bright side at least you know now she's not hard up, she just wastes money on crap like BBQs

OutPinked · 28/08/2018 22:26

I was offered free baby items a few months ago by a friend and I turned them down because we’re financially comfortable enough to choose our own items. I could have accepted them and sold them on but I know that’s morally not a good thing to do...

You were incredibly generous and she has thrown it in your face. I think the worst part is she actually admitted to you what the proceeds went on. They weren’t necessities like food or the mortgage, it was a bloody one off holiday. Holiday> car.

Cars are expensive to run but they can be an absolute life changer and it sounds like this would have been one for her. If she ever dares mention the struggle of the school run to you again, I hope you say “shame you got rid of that car then isn’t it.” She’s no friend.

PieAndPumpkins · 28/08/2018 22:39

What a cf!!! You should absolutely tell her how monumentally unimpressed you are that she did that. Nothing to lose right? She might regret the BBQ come winter!

Petalflowers · 28/08/2018 22:44

I’d be annoyed as well.

BBQ and holidays are luxuries, not essentials.

KarmaStar · 28/08/2018 22:49

Flowers for you for being such a generous ,thoughtful kind person op.the world could do with more people like you.
About colleague was extremely rude and you have every right to be furious.
There are no excuses for her behaviour.If she couldn't afford to run it she should have returned it.
You are not there to bank roll her treats.
Tell her exactly why you are angry although she must know.
What a 🐄

StarUtopia · 28/08/2018 22:50

Not often I read a post and my jaw actually drops.

Some people are just beyond cheeky.

I get annoyed when people who I give kids clothes to don't even bother to say thank you. That's enough to wind me up but this is something else.

Immigrantsong · 28/08/2018 22:51

I feel for you OP, I really do. However the problem is that once you gift something, it's up to the person to do whatever with it. Hence why we have the saying: no good deed goes unpunished.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 28/08/2018 22:52

massive hint droppers are always the cheekiest of fuckers

^^This should be in fortune cookies Grin

IAmLordVoldemort · 28/08/2018 22:55

Ew who buys a used breast pump

Kleptronic · 28/08/2018 22:58

Maybe it wasn't her choice to sell it. Maybe it was taken out of her hands, but she's the one left to do the graft without the car.

NotTheWayISeeIt · 28/08/2018 22:59

Why on earth didn’t you say something when she told you about it?

sarcasmisnotthelowestformofwit · 28/08/2018 23:00

Sorry but that is unbelievably rude and I would be livid. I also wouldn't even know how to approach her as it's so fucking cheeky it beggars belief. But I would have to say something. CFs are CFs because they get away with it.

Bunintheoven88 · 28/08/2018 23:16

What a very silly short sighted thing to do! She's going to regret that In about two weeks time 😂🤷🏽‍♀️

emmyrose2000 · 28/08/2018 23:19

In my experience those who plead poverty aren’t that hard up . Those who are too proud to ask are the ones who need it

Very true!

The colleague is a CF of the highest order. I would definitely have to call her out on it. Not to mention, she's very selfish. I'm sure next time her kids are trudging to school in the rain, they won't be thinking about the last BBQ meal they had or the quick holiday.

GinPink · 28/08/2018 23:20

She is a cheeky bitch.

scaryteacher · 28/08/2018 23:21

Well, that'll soon get round the staffroom and the CF will get some Hmm and Shock looks.

smileycath · 28/08/2018 23:22

You did a lovely thing. If you get on with this person and value her friendship then try and understand and talk more and bring it up in conversation at some point. Kindness, honesty and understanding is what my worthwhile friendships are based-on. xx

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 28/08/2018 23:23

Did you say anything to her, OP? A bbq. Ahe has her priorities right, eh Confused

keyboardkate · 28/08/2018 23:29

Well you know the old saying.....

"No good deed goes unpunished"

Walk away now OP and chalk it up, but stay as kind as you are. It was a lovely thing you did.

Grilledaubergines · 28/08/2018 23:36

Some people are givers, some are takers. In this case, literally. She took the car and the piss. I’m actually shocked at the cheek of her though.

PawneeParksDept · 29/08/2018 00:23

I think you were AMAZINGLY generous to give someone a car.

It was hers to do what she wanted with of course, but I'm not surprised you were narked I'd be fuming.

It's a minor comparison but a girl I knew growing up and happened to have as an acquaintance on Facebook caused a massive row once and everyone told her she was being U and I didn't think she was.

Very good condition expensive toy, popular among local mums. Child had outgrown it and a "friend" begged it for a grandchild and she did the "good friend" thing

Girl I knew ( who was very low income, Vulnerable and impaired with mild LD) then saw it for sale on a Facebook group for £50
£50 that would have been a massive boon to her

She posted lots of statuses and people defended the friend! The friend may as well have stolen £50 from her and everyone told her she was wrong because it didn't belong to her anymore !

Gift is not now and nor should it ever become a verb. You decided to give it to her not gift it

fattyboomboomboom · 29/08/2018 01:42

As she has been so blatant you could be direct too. You could say I'm surprised that you sold the car, why did you accept it if you didn't want it?

Mumshotel · 29/08/2018 01:56

If she couldnt afford it she should have said so and handed it back. I would be so angry. It's disgusting, insulting,behaviour. I dont blame you for being upset.

delphguelph · 29/08/2018 02:00

Fuck me blind.

Love how people are actually excusing her!

ShockHmm