To think that ghosting friends is just mean?

[thereareflowersinmygarden]

Just that really. A few people have done it to me over the last couple of years. Clearly I'm doing something wrong but since it's apparently socially acceptable to just ignore people like that, I have no idea what.

Sure this sort of behaviour was considered rude at one point.

Think @Thomasinaa wins the prize for the most mature approach so far.

But agree with @katelouise3 in that there comes a time when you have to make a decision about a friendship and if it’s curtains it’s curtains. I know a lot of my contemporaries in their late 30s/early 40s just don’t have the fucking time anymore.

I am glad to have been ghosted by the narc I described above. I am still sad about it but I'm better off without that sort of person in my life.

I was ghosted by two very close friends at the same time, it's one of the most hurtful things that has ever happened. I've spent years crying and being hurt. It's a horrible thing to do to someone after years and years of being close. I'm still hurt as it made feel worthless. Sad all around really

I've had that happen to me, @sunnyBeach I had 3 friends I was very close to at uni years ago. All three of them ghosted me afterwards, I never knew why. They're clearly still in touch, I can see that on Facebook. I became friends on Facebook with one of them and we occasionally like each other's posts but it don't go beyond that. (That's ok by me now, there's been too much water under the bridge.)

I'll never know the reason why the three of them cut me out when they remained friends with each other, and I doubt the friend I'm in touch with would tell me if I asked.

sunnyBeach and Lizzie48

Those people who think ghosting is ok, how would you feel if you bump into the ghostee say, in the supermarket?

The people who ghosted us still live in a town where we shop sometimes. I'm constantly wondering what would happen if we saw them. If we'd just had a vague response, something along the lines of 'lots going on here I'll be in touch' I would assume they're still sorting themselves out and I'd be polite but as it stands I think I'd just ignore them and walk off in the opposite direction but either way it's awkward.

People don't ghost people for no reason.................

I think that's so unfair.

That is assuming that all those who have been ghosted are horrible people, they deserve it, and all those who ghost do it for very valid reasons.

That might be the case on occasions but time and time again I have threads on here where posters have been heartbroken when someone has literally treated them appallingly by disappearing and the poster has absolutely no idea why. The reason is ... the 'ghoster' is most likely unpleasant.

sunnybeach and Lizzie illustrates the point perfectly.

The person who ghosted me did me an enormous favour, she'd taken advantage of me for far too long. However, I can't pretend I wasn't puzzled at the time. Then I drew a halt to it all by emailing and saying that I had no idea why she had cut contact, however I wishes her well. 'Closure' as they all say and I recommend anyone who is going through this to do that.

Those people who think ghosting is ok, how would you feel if you bump into the ghostee say, in the supermarket?

I see my ghostee semi regularly as she is part of a wider social circle. I ignore her, don't talk to her, don't engage in conversation with her. Essentially pretend she isn't there.

I see the person I ghosted quite regularly. I treat her the way I treat any stranger - I'm not rude to her but I don't interact with her in any way.