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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed about this

226 replies

lookingforwardtoautumn · 27/08/2018 14:54

The schools website has said that term is from 3 September onwards. I’ve just found out there’s a training day on 31st August, and I’ve no child care ... Aibu to just say I can’t go?

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 27/08/2018 16:04

But habr you searched local childcare options in case there’s a solution? People keep suggesting it but you seem to have not said anything in response.

Instead of looking you’re here.

Nothingbutagoodtime · 27/08/2018 16:05

Op - I think you're having a hard time. I don't have emergency childcare either, I also didn't do KIT days, I'm not sure why some are so incredulous at this.

Your SMT should have had a meeting or at least a conversation with you in July (with baby if necessary

Seeingadistance · 27/08/2018 16:07

I'm not a teacher, but I am a parent, and I've always been aware of when my DS's teachers return to school after the holidays.

I struggle to see that a teacher wouldn't have that information or know where to find it.

happypoobum · 27/08/2018 16:08

All I can say is, to posters who are as aghast at OPs attitude as I am, it is very unusual to find a teacher with such disregard to their students.

Most would not choose to turn up without having a very clear SOW with robust LPs. They would also not wish to disadvantage their students with their own ignorance about individual students in their care having PTSD/Anxiety/Hearing Impairment/Dyslexia/Sight Impairment/Eating Disorder/History of being bullied.

Please don't think OP speaks for all of us in the profession.

SawnUpLooRoll · 27/08/2018 16:08

Forgive us, OP, but it might be worth clarifying - is your school shut during the holidays and no staff ever go in?

I only ask because I've never come across a school (secondary, at least) where staff do not use part of the summer break for their own prep, and where those with responsibility don't meet up with those they need to in advance of the new school year. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it will give all of us trying to advise a better idea of the shape of your school.

Nothingbutagoodtime · 27/08/2018 16:08

Posted too soon

They should have explained the plan for the year etc including all inset days.

But all you can do now is get in touch with your manager asap and explain the situation.

Hope they're understanding

Plumsofwrath · 27/08/2018 16:08

Sorry to put the boot in, but seriously OP. I’d be so so upset if you were teaching my child. You’ve been off from work for months, and you expect to turn up to your first day of work teaching my child without any preparation AT ALL?? Not only is that double standards, but by god isn’t that the very definition of seeing teaching as a job that just pays your bills. You’re totally on the ball with exact dates when it comes to your mat leave, but not when it comes to going back to work and getting ready to actually teach. Do you care at all about your pupils? This attitude does a disservice to all teachers.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/08/2018 16:09

@MichonnesBBF

Ok apologies for saying that. As our nursery is all year round they don’t do prep like I have seen my friend to crazy amounts of lesson plans through out the summer.

They simply wouldn’t have the time plus the job is different and as o said before the activities are repeated as that’s what kids like. You can’t do that in kids classes until the following year if the curriculum is the same.

It’s just different and I meant I assumed she was saying she was not leaving any classes at nursery and that’s why she had done no prep. Op is giving very little info so I was trying to look for a legitimate reason that she had done no prep for the minuscule bits of info she was giving us.

deepsea · 27/08/2018 16:09

I wouldn't go op.

If the school have not even bothered to inform you that you are supposed to be there I would assume they are not expecting you.

MsHopey · 27/08/2018 16:10

Rock up and wing it shock going to work on my scheduled date? Really?

It's not your scheduled work date though it is? Apparently August 31st is.

crosstalk · 27/08/2018 16:12

OP

Just contact the school tomorrow or if desperate any of your colleagues like the one you found out about all this at the supermarket.

Explain you've missed out on any emails that might have been sent about this Friday's work and ask them if they sent anything or how you should have known about it.

Ask them what you should be doing in terms of preparation for the start on Sep 3. I would presume the school has back up sheets for new things/children coming in/major announcements - so if you absolutely can't find childcare ask if you can have those papers and go in early next week when you have or have more time to arrange child care - or take your baby on Friday.

And check all your emails/texts including your junk folder to make sure the school didn't send you anything at all, before asking why they didn't let you know. I agree with PPs - I would have phoned at the end of last term to ask. And certainly make sure you have back up child care if your DC's nursery can't take her. The school might have an idea.

However - you are going to need to come across as super professional after this.

WoWsers16 · 27/08/2018 16:12

Toatally jnderstand you’ve been on maternity leave- however you can’t expect to go back end of July to get full paid over summer then complain with a training day (I will be doing the same next year with my maternity- so totally get getting paid over summer)
As a teacher we are so lucky to have weekends and holidays with our children- but people who do not work in education have to find alternative childcare when they are working over summer. It is out there and annoyingly it is expensive.
You should be in on training day- Primary, secondary school - doesn’t matter- course you need to be on especially if you’ve had time off for past few months.
I think it is a bit silly you didn’t actually find out your starting day (training day) especially when sorting out childcare. That’s my opinion and I don’t think it is up to the school- I think they probably would have thought staff should know. Or if you didn’t you should have emailed in.
Getting off to a bad start after maternity is probably not the way to go- your first official day in and you don’t go in over childcare- they could do it so your maternity pay doesn’t start till you actually go back in September. Having children doesn’t also allow you limitless time off (think it’s max 10 days a year) just to pre warn. X

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 27/08/2018 16:12

If the school have not even bothered to inform you that you are supposed to be there I would assume they are not expecting you.

This is not how professional people behave. The OP is just as responsible for knowing when and where she needs to be. The rest of the staff probably found out and were reminded numerous times during meetings and briefings. The OP knows she is expected to have an inset before school starts some of the onus should be on her making contact to find out the information.

MissVanjie · 27/08/2018 16:14

"It's not your scheduled work date though it is? Apparently August 31st is."

MsHopey, not even that, op says upthread that July 21st was her official return date although 'obviously' she didn't go in Confused

I think I'm just not psychic enough for this thread tbh

Glumglowworm · 27/08/2018 16:15

YABU

You started back at work in July, presumably to ensure you got paid over the summer. Therefore it’s reasonable to expect that you would check your work emails and communicate with SLT regarding important work things like inset days.

If you take time off work every time your DD has a sniffle and can’t go to nursery, you’re likely to miss huge amounts of teaching time. Kids get ill a lot when they start in childcare.

I just hope you don’t have exam classes this year given how little prep youre prepared to do and the fact that you’re likely to miss a lot of teaching time if you don’t have backup childcare

WoWsers16 · 27/08/2018 16:15

You can go back to work from maternity leave the first day of summer holidays- that means you get paid for summer x

MichonnesBBF · 27/08/2018 16:16

@MiddleClassProblem

Thank you I appreciate that, I am from a term time only LA nursery so see the opposite. Like you say just different

ShesABelter · 27/08/2018 16:22

You have been teaching since 2004? Then you are completely at it with pretending you checked first day of term on the school website and weren't aware that's the date for pupils and that teachers are always in before that date. ALWAYS! So your excuses are garbage.

eyeoresancerre · 27/08/2018 16:22

drJava - are you really a teacher? Having just read what you've written on the Northern Ireland thread via Tim Minchin I'm Shock. All your planning and prep you do the week before ... I'd love to see your RE lessons!

Dollymixture22 · 27/08/2018 16:24

To be honest, I think you should have contacted your line manager to confirm when you were expected back at work. Surely the website is for parents?

If however was a staff section, then you have a legitimate reason to explain to your manager that you made an effort to confirm the return to work date in the staff website and the information was incorrect.

Nanny0gg · 27/08/2018 16:33

But surely you've got to sort out planning and schemes of work before you start? When were you going to do that?

Have you really had no communication with your line manager?

I see wrong on both sides here.

Clionba · 27/08/2018 16:36

How many days parental leave is allowed in a year? You don't want to use one up before you begin. However, you must be contractually obliged to attend on Friday. Some good advice on here, OP about childcare.

Sauvignonblanket · 27/08/2018 16:36

It was horrible leaving my baby for the first time when I went back to work OP and my OH was there to help. Having to do that by yourself and have that day brought forward unexpectedly must have made it worse so sending lots of sympathy for that.

PP are right about emergency childcare though. You will need someone as a backup. Round our way the Facebook group has emergency requests with lots of parents, nannies and nurseries using it. There are people who look after sick kids and there will be times your baby is better in themself but need another 24-48 before nursery will accept them. The first few weeks/months will be worst as they're exposed to more germs - which I hadn't appreciated at all with my first and it made my first return to work a bit harder. The sitters website has been recommended to me as well and I think you can build up favourites so the sitter knows your baby a bit better. It's worth being prepared for and Friday could be a good road test, although at short notice.

Dollymixture22 · 27/08/2018 16:38

Nannying I agree. OP seems to have guessed when she should be back at work and not contacted anyone to confirm.

For a professional adult this is poor.

Also, her school management have relied on her to make contact and confirm the date, and not put in place any communication strategy to ensure she was actually returning and on what date.

This does unfortunately not help the stereotype of teachers.

VickyEadie · 27/08/2018 16:41

How many days parental leave is allowed in a year? You don't want to use one up before you begin. However, you must be contractually obliged to attend on Friday. Some good advice on here, OP about childcare.

Policies on this vary between schools these days - but the Op seems to be of the opinion that if her child falls sick, she can take as much time off as she wants. That's not usually the case - most school policies give you a day to sort out alternative childcare arrangements.