Brave The Shave - NOT IN MY NAME

[TwitterQueen1]

I know IANBU but posting here for traffic.

I see Macmillan is now advertising BTS on tv. It doesn't seem to matter how many of us protest that the whole campaign:

• is extremely offensive and upsetting
• trivialises and minimises the effects of chemo
• claims that it makes people understand what it's like to have cancer

Would you paint black and bruises on your face to 'show support' for victims of DV?

Would you tie one leg behind your back and hop around town to 'show support' for those with disabilities?

• Do you know that Macmillan are asking those who've done BTS is "How are enjoying your new look?" or even worse - "Hope you're enjoying your new look!" WT actual Fuck. I mean, us cancer patients absolutely ADORE losing all our hair and feeling like total shit for months.... and random healthy strangers indulging in narcissistic, attention-grabbing stunts makes us feel even better.

And (in response to my complaint) these offensive statements apparently fall within Macmillan's social media guidelines'?

Bathe in baked beans, run marathons, walk a mile, hold coffee mornings.... do ANYTHING ELSE, but don't pretend for a second that shaving your head helps you understand how cancer patients feel. You have absolutely no idea at all. None.

sorry to hear of your illness. I totally agree with you. Have never understood 'brave the shave'.

but don't pretend for a second that shaving your head helps you understand how cancer patients feel. You have absolutely no idea at all. None.

Many people shave their head, not because they think it will resemble how a cancer patient feels, but to show their solidarity and support.

I think you need to be mindful that your views and opinions don't represent everyone else's.

Totally agree, I think it’s an awful campaign and money raiser and will not support.

YANBU at all. Someone in my village did it and all we’ve had since is endless updates on how cool she looks and the rainbow colours she’s dying the regrowth. No mention of “the cause” and an awful lot of me, me, me. Distasteful.

Yeah sorry, I agree, my sil lost her hair through chemo and I am currently undergoing treatment for cancer although won't lose my hair, and I find this a rather trite and attention seeking thing to do. There are a lot better ways of raising money, and 1000s of better ways to care for people you love who are ill.

I agree, it's a dreadful campaign.

Many people shave their head, not because they think it will resemble how a cancer patient feels, but to show their solidarity and support.

This. A friend of mine lost their child to cancer. They didn’t get to the chemo stage as I spread too quickly. My friend had their hair shaved and raised thousands for the local children’s hospice.

They weren’t being narcissistic at all.

I agree that people doing it in an attention seeking way are being very insensitive though.

It’s awful. Sending my best wishes OP.

I think you need to be mindful that your views and opinions don't represent everyone else's.

I'm mindful thank you TheMatte but unless you're a bald cancer patient I don't give a flying fuck.

Not in my name either OP.
When I see a person with a chemo-bald head it ,in sympathy,makes me feel as sick as when it was me. I feel almost enraged by healthy people shaving in public with whoops and grins and I remember when my sister tried and failed to shave my poor sore head . The tears got in the way you see.

Nothing about it makes me feel supported in the least.

but unless you're a bald cancer patient I don't give a flying fuck

So only bald cancer patients matter? You do realise that chemotherapy is used in other illnesses and the side effects don't go away just because it's not cancer.

I'm sorry you are angry, but your opinion does not trump that of others in the same, or similar, situations.

YANBU in the least. I boggled a bit on seeing one of the TV ads.

Sorry you feel this way

But I run marathons for charity.... nobody donates/supports as they are sick of campaigns

You can't win

Not in my name either. It just trivialises what I and others that lose our hair through chemo have to go through.

From the other side of the desk - as it were - I support you OP.
My senior colleagues fight a LOT against the "fighting" talk of cancer charities because I believe that many of our patients feel like you do.

I think it's just a cash earner for them now, similar to the ice bucket challenge for ALS, though at least that raised vital funds.

I recall reading for some articles from cancer patients that found it comforting so if you're doing it for someone in particular you'd be best asking. Some will appreciate the thought and some will feel it trivialises their experiences and neither are wrong.

I agree OP, it's an abhorrent campaign promoting attention seeking behaviour. Nothing whatsoever to do with supporting cancer patients.

TQ - I'm with you. I'm not currently a bald cancer patient, but I'm coming up to five years since diagnosis.
I understand that people are expressing solidarity and it's an obvious way to do it - it would be hard to emulate my lack of boobs or surgical menopause, my peripheral neuropathy or the constant nausea.
The people who supported me did so by looking after my children while I had treatment, the school secretary who took my oldest home from school when he was ill the day after my first chemo, by cheering me up, by listening to me droning on.
I think it's a bit distasteful tbh.

So only bald cancer patients matter? You do realise that chemotherapy is used in other illnesses and the side effects don't go away just because it's not cancer.
Given that it's about Macmillan, the cancer charity, I think it's ALL about bald cancer patients

I totally agree with you! People seem to treat it like some brave thing they have done for the poor cancer patients. It is disrespectful and I agree with your other points about not hopping around for a day etc.

If a cancer patient wishes to shave their head and raise money before the chemo takes that is different but healthy people thinking they are doing a brave and respectful thing is totally misguided and minimising of the psychological effects chemo actually has.

I'm currently under going chemo for stage 3 breast cancer at 32. I'm losing my hair and I'm terrified of being bald. The adverts are making me angry and I have to turn over. Run races,do midnight bra wakes or do the coffee mornings but this brave the shave shit is really pissing me off.

I have voiced a similar opinion to Macmillan myself, even though they have been absolute brilliant throughout the two years of my Dh's cancer (and continue to be).

For me, there is such a huge difference between the total hair loss of a person undergoing chemo (eyebrows, eyelashes, all your body hair) and the effects of it (feeling the cold, hair taking months to grow back and then coming in thinner, or frizzy or grey) that it is not a good thing for MacM to promote.

There's so much "look at me, I look great with a no 1 cut (so not "chemo bald" at all) and I know that in a month or so it'll all be back to normal again, but I am a WARRIOR"

And the notion that people who do it are "brave" makes me feel both angry and upset.

YANBU

The only person I know who has done this completely fits your description of indulging in narcissistic, attention-grabbing stunts and I find it very disrespectful.