Brave The Shave - NOT IN MY NAME

[TwitterQueen1]

I know IANBU but posting here for traffic.

I see Macmillan is now advertising BTS on tv. It doesn't seem to matter how many of us protest that the whole campaign:

• is extremely offensive and upsetting
• trivialises and minimises the effects of chemo
• claims that it makes people understand what it's like to have cancer

Would you paint black and bruises on your face to 'show support' for victims of DV?

Would you tie one leg behind your back and hop around town to 'show support' for those with disabilities?

• Do you know that Macmillan are asking those who've done BTS is "How are enjoying your new look?" or even worse - "Hope you're enjoying your new look!" WT actual Fuck. I mean, us cancer patients absolutely ADORE losing all our hair and feeling like total shit for months.... and random healthy strangers indulging in narcissistic, attention-grabbing stunts makes us feel even better.

And (in response to my complaint) these offensive statements apparently fall within Macmillan's social media guidelines'?

Bathe in baked beans, run marathons, walk a mile, hold coffee mornings.... do ANYTHING ELSE, but don't pretend for a second that shaving your head helps you understand how cancer patients feel. You have absolutely no idea at all. None.

I bake cakes to take with me to chemo sessions they're always very popular! (Not to raise money or anything, just to share.)

I'd much rather people sold cakes for charity than shaved their head.

Leslie thats a lovely thing to do

Or maybe it's part of my sneaky plan to kill everyone off so I can get the best seat...

Leslie. I think my cooking would kill them all off

"Havent had time to read 13 pages, but I thought it was about donating hair for wigs?"

This has already been discussed unthread.

The main (charity) recipient of hair for wigs is totally explicit that shaving is not required.

For hair donation for wigs, you need to cut hair that is not shorter than about 7 inches. There is no requirement for hair if any particular length for this rather divisive stunt.

I cannot bear cancer adverts generally, so agree with you OP.

Cancer Research and Macmillan both do emotionally manipulative adverts, people tearing up and so forth. Its completely unnecessary and mawkish.

p.s. I complained to Cancer Research about their crying cancer advert about a year ago. I got a very snotty / rude response.

I’m about to Brave the Shave and, as a breast cancer survivor, who had two lots of surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, plus my dad dad died of pancreatic cancer one week after my first surgery, I find nothing offensive in this. Macmillan were extremely supportive and helpful in helping me break my diagnosis to my family at a time when we were all coming to terms with my dad’s imminent death and, helping me find appropriate ways to discuss death, funerals and the side effects of my journey through more surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy with my, then, five year old son. I wouldn’t, for a minute, say it was an easy journey but if my fundraising through shaving my hair will help another family through a similar situation I would do it again!

I'm a bald cancer patient. Halfway through chemo for breast cancer at 32. I couldn't give a shit how people choose to fundraise. I am grateful for every single penny that people raise for Macmillan and other cancer charities. I am lucky that my diagnosis is no longer a death sentence because of the research that Cancer Research and others have done and I am grateful that continued donations mean I can access support and literature from Macmillan and other similar organisations. If BTS gets people involved, I am happy that others in my position will be helped in the future. No one is pretending that having a shaved head (not bald with the shedding, tuftiness, no eyebrows & eyelashes like we are) allows people to pretend they know how it feels to have cancer. It is just another way of raising money, and I'm all for it

This thread has helped me realize that I am not a ungrateful bitch.

I have just finished treatment for stage 2 Breast Cancer with positive lymph nodes and people keep saying Way to Kick Cancer, you are such a fighter, You are so strong, stay positive, and it made me so angry and I would sob quietly into my pillow and I could not quite articulate why I was so angry at them when they just thought they were being nice. I kept thinking I was being so ungracious.

So thank you all for confirming that all these trite phrases and comments SUCK a lot and feeling so very angry is normal.

Cancer Sucks, Treatment Sucks, looking at my mutilated body every day SUCKS, Chemo is horrible , radiation is worse and I will NEVER agree with the Brave The Shave - what a terrible idea absolutely #NOT IN MY NAME - no way no how.

To everyone on this thread thank you for your wise words and even though you may not have realized your comments have made this Cancer patient sitting in the US understand her feelings just a little bit better. Thank You

My DD recently did this for a family member who has cancer. She raised a lot of money and her long hair was donated for wigs also. To even remotely suggest she did this as a stunt enrages me - sorry, OP, but it does. It came from her heart. I’m sorry you feel the way you do, but know that at least some people that do BTS - if not most - do it for only the best reasons. They are love and hope.

I realise that everyone feels differently about their personal cancer experience but for me the short term side effects of treatment; hair loss, sickness, fatigue, were all a means to a more positive outcome. I’m not trying to minimise how awful it can be but I feel so fortunate to have survived - which, at the start of my treatment, I didn’t know whether I would or not - but I’m also not offended at all by people shaving their hair as a fundraising tool for a charity that was invaluable to me and my family when my dad died of cancer two weeks after my diagnosis. I’m Braving the Shave myself and it’s certainly not an easy thing to do but, I hope, will raise consciousness of the need for more specialist help for people living with any kind of cancer, and raising funds.

I read this thread when it was first posted and was minded of it today.

Sober October.

My social media feed full of posters commenting on how hard day 1 has been. Again tonight.

Not one thought for the poor buggers who would kill for a sip of plain old water to stay down for 10 minutes mid-chemo. Nothing about people actually struggling with living with cancer. Nothing about how actually after a month off the booze they'll be healthier and wealthier. And nothing about the cause - the amazing support that Macmillan offer to ANYONE affected by cancer.

I 100% agree! Before I had cancer I thought BTS was just plain stupid, like why would you deface yourself for charity, why not climb a mountain or something?! Now having been a chemo patient the loss of hair is a massive trauma and we would do anything to save our locks. It is not a choice for us ! To see people doing BTS now I find it extremely offensive as it belittles the trauma for chemo patients! It's like saying 'get over yourself, I can shave my head..stop with all the drama! In fact look at me rocking my new look!!

The unfortunate thing is that the views of cancer patients themselves are not the priority to the fund raising funtion. The views that matter are those of potential donors.
Some functions of the charity and the charity as a whole centres beneficiaries, but the fund raisers just need to get the money in to pay for it all. That means coming up with ideas (following research) that are going to capture the public imagination and fill the coffers. Which BTS clearly has.