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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to use pub toilet?

146 replies

AliceRR · 25/08/2018 16:54

I am nearly 16w pregnant. Not quite needing to pee all the time but today left the house for a viewing and needed to pee before we got there even though I had peer before I left the house!

DH said ask at the house but I felt cheeky. I was looking for somewhere to stop and use the loo and was getting slightly stressed as I needed to go and we needed to get the viewing.

I stopped at a pub 5 mins before we were due to be at the house but it was v close. Went in and looked toward the bar to ask if I could use the loo. Couldn’t see anyone.

I felt like people were all looking at me when I walked in. It was uncomfortable but I needed to go and I didn’t know who to speak to. I went to the loo. It was a bit shabby but clean enough.

After I came out a woman probably in her forties, who was sitting down with others and had her phone in front of her, said “I bet you 10p she doesn’t”. I asked what she meant. She told me she bet someone 10p I wouldn’t buy a drink. I said I actually don’t have to time stop now as we are on our way to a house viewing but I needed the loo and I was going to ask to use the loo but didn’t know who to ask (how would I have known she was in charge?). She said well you’ve been now. I said yes thanks.

But felt like saying “if you’d bee a bit more gracious DH and I might have stopped in for a drink after we’ve been to the house!”

But I was actually a bit upset by it. I felt bad. I did intend to ask but how would I have known? Maybe I should have stood at the bar?

Was I really rude? Or were they a bit rude? Maybe a bit of both. I really felt like they were all staring at me. It was quite unpleasant.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 25/08/2018 16:57

I asked what she meant.

Was she talking to you?

Candyflip · 25/08/2018 16:57

You were not a customer, surely the loos are for customers only? Why did you not go at the house?

Byebyebye · 25/08/2018 16:59

Why do you think it’s cheeky to ask to use the toilet of the person you might be buying a house from but it’s not cheeky to ask to use a pubs toilet when your not giving them any business?

AnExcellentUsername · 25/08/2018 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MsOliphant · 25/08/2018 17:00

So irrelevant that your free loo was 'shabby but clean enough'

You needed the loo, you went to a loo! What does the rest of it matter?

OliviaStabler · 25/08/2018 17:00

YABU if you don't at least buy one drink. They are not public toilets but are provided purely for paying customers.

You clearly thought you had a right to use them regardless

Nicknacky · 25/08/2018 17:01

It's cheeky. You should have bought a packet of crisps at least.

WorldCupnovice · 25/08/2018 17:02

Not sure if this helps, but many years ago I worked in a small supermarket with no customer toilets. Staff were told that only pregnant ladies and children under 7 were allowed to use the staff loos. I think you were WNBU in using loo without actually being a customer. Years ago I had been for a meal at my DSis a two hour drive from my house. On the way home I had a really bad stomach and had to keep stopping in pubs en route to use the facilities. I did not buy a drink in any of them.

Sparklingbrook · 25/08/2018 17:02

There is a fair bit of irrelevant information in the OP.

Lovejoywasodd · 25/08/2018 17:02

Do you think it is fair that she was paying for your toilet paper and water?

hidinginthenightgarden · 25/08/2018 17:02

I have done this in a chain pub. Not independent ones though as that feels more cheeky.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 25/08/2018 17:03

She might have bet 10p that you didn't wash your hands

I always thought that pg women and children were given amnesty over toilets.
Just say "I know I'm being a cheekster but I'm pg can I use the loo"?
Who will refuse you?

FatCow2018 · 25/08/2018 17:03

This happens to us all the time for one of the children or other- I always just pay the equivalent of a coke to ensure I was a "paying customer".

LyndorCake · 25/08/2018 17:04

I do this all the time. I have a very weak bladder due to medical complications and if the feeling takes me, all I can do is shuffle to the nearest loo.

FASH84 · 25/08/2018 17:05

I always find McDonald's good to use, if out and about and need the loo, they don't seem to mind, if it's quiet I've asked at the counter and always been told it's fine, if it's busy they don't even notice. I'm six months pregnant and if I bought something every time i peed I'd be broke and half a stone heavier

Chelley23 · 25/08/2018 17:06

I don't think you're U, I did it when I was pregnant - sometimes you just have to go! Unless there was a huge sign saying that the toilets are for customers only, I don't see the problem with it.
The lady who made the comment could've have simply said to you before you used the loo about buying a drink etc.

StarfishSandwich · 25/08/2018 17:06

You’re pregnant, wee where you want and ask for permission later. If anyone begrudges you this, they are mean spirited.

tonto2012 · 25/08/2018 17:06

I have a pub. I've never had a problem with people popping in to use the loo - it is nice if they ask (and most do!) but if there was no one behind the bar to ask then I think that's fair enough :)

turnaroundbrighteyes · 25/08/2018 17:07

I would have thought it perfectly reasonable to use the loo at the house and when accosted by the woman at the pub (or when asking to use the loo if you could have found her beforehand) would have offered to buy a packet of crisps.

actualpuffins · 25/08/2018 17:07

I have used pubs when desperate (or the kids were) without buying a drink. I don't begrudge buying a drink but if no-one is around serving at the bar, or it's very busy and I'd have to queue, I don't bother.

Catsandbootsandbootsandcats · 25/08/2018 17:10

I've used pubs quite a few times - pregnant and desperate, toilet training desperate child, period flood etc. Never been challenged.

Obviously if there was a public toilet around I would have used them, but good luck ever finding one!

CoughLaughFart · 25/08/2018 17:11

You’re pregnant, wee where you want and ask for permission later.

Not a theory to put to the test in the church pulpit or at the checkout in Sainsbury’s.

Original poster

AliceRR · 25/08/2018 17:12

Thanks all. I can see her point of view but I would have asked if it was clear who was in charge and think it was a bit mean spirited of her to be that way.

And they did all stare at me when I walked in that this made me think that, even if I was planning to stay, I might have decided to leave at that point!

OP posts:

Original poster

AliceRR · 25/08/2018 17:13

And I didn’t know the area which is why is was becoming a struggle to find somewhere. I didn’t see a McDonald’s or any kind of chain place.

If I was obviously pregnant she might not have said anything (who knows?). I definitely have a bump but not sure it was obvious with what I was wearing today.

OP posts:

Pickleypickles · 25/08/2018 17:15

I used to work for marstons and we were always told it was illegal to refuse someone the use of the loo or a drink of water. Besides it doesn't really matter what some nosey bint in a pub thinks.

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