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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to use pub toilet?

146 replies

AliceRR · 25/08/2018 16:54

I am nearly 16w pregnant. Not quite needing to pee all the time but today left the house for a viewing and needed to pee before we got there even though I had peer before I left the house!

DH said ask at the house but I felt cheeky. I was looking for somewhere to stop and use the loo and was getting slightly stressed as I needed to go and we needed to get the viewing.

I stopped at a pub 5 mins before we were due to be at the house but it was v close. Went in and looked toward the bar to ask if I could use the loo. Couldn’t see anyone.

I felt like people were all looking at me when I walked in. It was uncomfortable but I needed to go and I didn’t know who to speak to. I went to the loo. It was a bit shabby but clean enough.

After I came out a woman probably in her forties, who was sitting down with others and had her phone in front of her, said “I bet you 10p she doesn’t”. I asked what she meant. She told me she bet someone 10p I wouldn’t buy a drink. I said I actually don’t have to time stop now as we are on our way to a house viewing but I needed the loo and I was going to ask to use the loo but didn’t know who to ask (how would I have known she was in charge?). She said well you’ve been now. I said yes thanks.

But felt like saying “if you’d bee a bit more gracious DH and I might have stopped in for a drink after we’ve been to the house!”

But I was actually a bit upset by it. I felt bad. I did intend to ask but how would I have known? Maybe I should have stood at the bar?

Was I really rude? Or were they a bit rude? Maybe a bit of both. I really felt like they were all staring at me. It was quite unpleasant.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 26/08/2018 00:45

My goodness, a lot of uptight people on here, if needs must! It's not as if op does this regularly, sounds like a one off.

LadyLoveYourWhat · 26/08/2018 01:13

I was pregnant when we were house hunting, and I think I probably used the loo in every single house we looked at. At least I knew they all worked...

BlueBug45 · 26/08/2018 01:23

As a PP said some areas have a community toilet scheme that involves shops, restaurants, pubs, community places, train stations, petrol stations etc with customer toilets. I've gone to toilet in both a pub and MacDonalds in an area - a London borough - with this scheme running.

Added to that if you are disabled and your disability means you have bladder issues you can get a card from various charities that you can show to businesses with customer toilets so they allow you to use the toilet. However many businesses owned by nice people will let you use their customer toilets if you have an obvious disability.

karyatide · 26/08/2018 01:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

happymummy12345 · 26/08/2018 01:41

I would never ever do this. I would always get something.

Missteachermum · 26/08/2018 01:44

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Tibbycloud · 26/08/2018 01:47

I’m a pub manager and I always let people use the loo, without expecting a purchase, most people ask a bit sheepishly. I’d rather locals remember us as being nice and accommodating and will recommend etc to pals even if they aren’t customers.

I asked to use the toilet at a cafe the other day and they said no, I’ve never been and probably never will because of that, it’s just a bit inhospitable I think, not good in the ‘hospitality’ industry.

In saying that, I think it is polite to ask, and ideally buy something or stick a quid in the tip jar. It’s not a right, and the business/staff are doing you a favour.

OliviaStabler · 26/08/2018 09:19

I went in a local Costa coffee a few weeks ago and they have combination locks on the doors. You can't use the toilet without the code so you have to ask at the counter.

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 09:21

I'd have bought a drink or a packet of crisps, even if I didn't have time to stop. She was right.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 26/08/2018 09:26

I did this and the café owner shouted at me and accused me of being a member of the IRA, and leaving a bomb in his loo.

Funny thing is, I had actually sat and had a drink there about 20 minutes before and then got caught short shopping, so thought I could run back in. Nope.

Meh. Don't worry about it OP, when you gotta pee you gotta pee.

Loopy83 · 26/08/2018 09:33

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Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 09:35

Loopy83

A pub isn't a public place. The toilets are for customers. I don't understand why you believe being pregnant gives you the right to take the piss. Just buy a drink!

Ozgirl75 · 26/08/2018 09:35

This is SUCH a british thing. It’s just some wee in a toilet that loads of people use. It probably costs the pub about 5pence.

When I moved to Australia and used a cafe loo if I was out and about I used to offer to buy something and they looked at me like I was mad and would just say “no worries mate, go ahead and use it” or words to that effect.

I love the UK but the obsession with being rude and being seen to do the right thing is one of the reasons I’m happy to live overseas.

Loopy83 · 26/08/2018 09:39

@Pengggwn

Really? Have you been pregnant?

Also I think 'Pub' is short for 'Public House's...

Loopy83 · 26/08/2018 09:39

Also if she bought a drink she'd need to pee again soooo...

PhilomenaButterfly · 26/08/2018 09:40

WorldCup what if, as was my case, they had a kidney infection and needed to flush it out? I organised a Lush forum meet up, then 5 days before I was hospitalised with a kidney infection. I was discharged just in time, but was under strict instructions to flush it out. I had special permission to use the staff loo. Thanks staff at Lush Kensington High Street. 😆

lemonsorbetinthesun · 26/08/2018 09:43

A pregnant woman is legally entitled to wee anywhere in the UK. I believe this also covers a policeman's helmet. I've not had the courage to go that far in testing it out.

So not you're not being U, because you're protected by law

PhilomenaButterfly · 26/08/2018 09:45

I've never had the guts to ask a policeman. I suspect he'd just laugh. 😂

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 09:46

Yes, have been pregnant. If I wanted to use a toilet in someone else's business premises I would ask, and if that wasn't possible I would make sure I bought something. It's not mu toilet, you see.

Ansumpasty · 26/08/2018 09:47

It’s not cheeky, you used the toilet, not helped yourself to free drinks! I’ve used pub toilets when passing all my life and so does everyone I know.
Those people need to get a life

Immigrantsong · 26/08/2018 09:47

I am gobsmacked at anyone saying YABU! I often have to use whatever toilet I can find as I have bladder issues and luckily so far I haven't been refused. Not pregnant btw, just health issues. Sod that woman in the pub and sod all the negative Nellys saying YABU. What's happened to kindness and hospitality? In the sea the lot of you.

PhilomenaButterfly · 26/08/2018 09:51

Also, I was on my way to a weekend in a field with no washing facilities, I had to walk under a railway bridge, a pigeon crapped on my head, I went straight into the nearest pub toilets and did my best with water, handwash and paper towels. I don't think anyone noticed.

Slartybartfast · 26/08/2018 09:52

as long as you ask politely, and you dont mind the stares from the regulars.
ignore the arguing woman, perhaps she had had one too many

Slartybartfast · 26/08/2018 09:52

macdonalds are a good place to use.

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 09:52

Ansumpasty

Then you've been cheeky all your life. They're not there for general public use and the landlord/lady has every right to object.