Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to use pub toilet?

146 replies

AliceRR · 25/08/2018 16:54

I am nearly 16w pregnant. Not quite needing to pee all the time but today left the house for a viewing and needed to pee before we got there even though I had peer before I left the house!

DH said ask at the house but I felt cheeky. I was looking for somewhere to stop and use the loo and was getting slightly stressed as I needed to go and we needed to get the viewing.

I stopped at a pub 5 mins before we were due to be at the house but it was v close. Went in and looked toward the bar to ask if I could use the loo. Couldn’t see anyone.

I felt like people were all looking at me when I walked in. It was uncomfortable but I needed to go and I didn’t know who to speak to. I went to the loo. It was a bit shabby but clean enough.

After I came out a woman probably in her forties, who was sitting down with others and had her phone in front of her, said “I bet you 10p she doesn’t”. I asked what she meant. She told me she bet someone 10p I wouldn’t buy a drink. I said I actually don’t have to time stop now as we are on our way to a house viewing but I needed the loo and I was going to ask to use the loo but didn’t know who to ask (how would I have known she was in charge?). She said well you’ve been now. I said yes thanks.

But felt like saying “if you’d bee a bit more gracious DH and I might have stopped in for a drink after we’ve been to the house!”

But I was actually a bit upset by it. I felt bad. I did intend to ask but how would I have known? Maybe I should have stood at the bar?

Was I really rude? Or were they a bit rude? Maybe a bit of both. I really felt like they were all staring at me. It was quite unpleasant.

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 26/08/2018 10:22

It’s a lavatory, for goodness sake not the holy grail. Of course it’s fine to use it. The place is called a public house.
I’ve had plenty of strangers knock at my door and ask to use the lavatory- should I let them be incontinent? I would be very mean spirited to refuse someone who was desperate.

30hours · 26/08/2018 10:23

@pengggwn it’s just a question dear. Why don’t you make yourself a nice cup of tea. You seem to be in a bad mood. Shame.

WeAreEternal · 26/08/2018 10:23

YWBU
It would have taken you a minute or two to buy a bottle of water to take away with you.

It’s a business not a public service, the facilities are only for the use of paying customers, whether it be a pub, restaurant, supermarket or macdonalds, everyone knows that’s how it works.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 26/08/2018 10:25

god what is actually wrong with people these days? do they have something wedged between their buttocks?

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 10:25

30hours

And you seem to be a condescending arse. None of your bloody business what I call my kids.

30hours · 26/08/2018 10:26

@pengggwn I take it pengs behaviour hasn’t improved? How strange.

Nanny0gg · 26/08/2018 10:26

Also I think 'Pub' is short for 'Public Houses...

Yes, as opposed to a private members' club.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 26/08/2018 10:27

I mean - do people actually care about McDonalds profits over a pregnant woman's embarrassment/humiliation?
If so, I despair.

KERALA1 · 26/08/2018 10:27

Surely issue is it's fine if it's just the odd person caught short for understandable reasons like op but if it's happening all the time say 8 -9 people a day that would have an impact on a small business

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 10:28

30hours

You're the only one being strange here, with your - frankly, questionable - interest.

Nanny0gg · 26/08/2018 10:29

Still would have been perfectly acceptable to ask at the house.

SerenDippitty · 26/08/2018 10:29

Hotels are really good places to walk in and use the lo, the posher the better.

Yes, did this on holiday recently. There were signs saying toilets for paying customers only, but I was desperate, and the restaurant/bar area was packed out with what was obviously a coach party and no chance of becoming a paying customer!

30hours · 26/08/2018 10:30

@pengggwn bless you. Hope your day improves.

19lottie82 · 26/08/2018 10:30

I’d ask to use the loo and give them a quid for the tips jar.

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 10:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheHulksPurplePanties · 26/08/2018 10:32

I'm curious as to who the OP was supposed to buy something from, and when? As there was no one behind the bar to ask if she could use the loo, and no one who identified themselves as an employee until after she'd been insulted.

Somewhereovertherainbow13 · 26/08/2018 10:33

there’s nothing wrong with using the toilet but you first message and your reply makes it sound like you just want people to be on your side. Yes feel free to use their toilet but don’t be rude about them if you have no intention of supporting their business and livelihood

pasttimes11 · 26/08/2018 10:34

That landlady's not doing herself any favours is she. She's in the hospitality business, sitting at a table with a few regulars staring rudely when a potential customer comes in without a friendly greeting isn't going to win her any new punters. No mind having bets with her mates as to whether you bought anything or not, she should have greeted you with a smile and a hello. Does everything have to be about money and profit these days.

lexer · 26/08/2018 10:36

A lot of people on their high-horses here.
I'm not pregnant but yesterday was desperate for the loo while in town. There are NO public toilets. Most people use John Lewis or Marks and Spencer but I wasn't near.
Nearest was pub. Went in. Asked at bar. "Certainly" was the answer. Didn't even think of buying anything and I'm sure they didn't expect me to.
It's what people do now. Infact near us there are several "community toilets" in pubs and cafes that allow the public the use them. I think the council must pay them something.

Thisnamechanger · 26/08/2018 10:36

I've never had the guts to ask a policeman. I suspect he'd just laugh. 😂

I asked a copper this once when I was shirtfaced outside a club

His response was absolutely marvellous. He said "to be honest madam I wouldn't have the time".

The shabby comment made me lol. OP you sound as if they dont have to be annoyed since their facilities weren't up to standard 😂

frogsoup · 26/08/2018 10:38

If entitled means that I think businesses have a duty to common decency, happy to go with that. If your cafe is in Trafalgar Square, fair enough to restrict access to the loos to all-comers, but otherwise, refusing the odd pregnant woman or desperate person who'd otherwise wet themselves? That is poor business sense and poor human sense. On here, 'entitled' seems to encompass any mean-spirited nastiness in the service of keeping up imaginary standards (since several pub owners on this thread have said that they are happy to have people use their loos without paying, so it clearly isn't some enormous threat to their business)

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 10:40

If entitled means that I think businesses have a duty to common decency, happy to go with that.

Yup. We are agreed then.

dw23 · 26/08/2018 10:47

As someone who suffers from IBS and is pregnant, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all! If councils are going to cut back on public toilets, what can we reasonably be expected to do? Go in the street? Cardiff council even has a scheme whereby some pubs will provide toilet facilities and they get a levy towards it because there is pretty much an entire lack of public toilets and they know it's a problem. Such a shame people are so judgemental, if you had an obvious disability they probably wouldn't have said anything! But because it's hidden or you're pregnant people feel the need to pipe up. 😒 I wouldn't have asked at the house either, that would have been really awkward!

LEELULUMPKIN · 26/08/2018 10:49

I sometimes have to do this but always ask first. After using said facilities I make a point of Thanking them and putting a £1 in the bar charity tin or tip box.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 26/08/2018 10:57

Christ almighty, you had a wee, you didn’t help yourself to the champagne (or, as sounds more likely, the nasty cheap cider). Don’t give it another thought.