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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to use pub toilet?

146 replies

AliceRR · 25/08/2018 16:54

I am nearly 16w pregnant. Not quite needing to pee all the time but today left the house for a viewing and needed to pee before we got there even though I had peer before I left the house!

DH said ask at the house but I felt cheeky. I was looking for somewhere to stop and use the loo and was getting slightly stressed as I needed to go and we needed to get the viewing.

I stopped at a pub 5 mins before we were due to be at the house but it was v close. Went in and looked toward the bar to ask if I could use the loo. Couldn’t see anyone.

I felt like people were all looking at me when I walked in. It was uncomfortable but I needed to go and I didn’t know who to speak to. I went to the loo. It was a bit shabby but clean enough.

After I came out a woman probably in her forties, who was sitting down with others and had her phone in front of her, said “I bet you 10p she doesn’t”. I asked what she meant. She told me she bet someone 10p I wouldn’t buy a drink. I said I actually don’t have to time stop now as we are on our way to a house viewing but I needed the loo and I was going to ask to use the loo but didn’t know who to ask (how would I have known she was in charge?). She said well you’ve been now. I said yes thanks.

But felt like saying “if you’d bee a bit more gracious DH and I might have stopped in for a drink after we’ve been to the house!”

But I was actually a bit upset by it. I felt bad. I did intend to ask but how would I have known? Maybe I should have stood at the bar?

Was I really rude? Or were they a bit rude? Maybe a bit of both. I really felt like they were all staring at me. It was quite unpleasant.

OP posts:

ArcheryAnnie · 26/08/2018 09:56

When I've needed to use the loo in a pub I've always asked first and offered the price of a drink, even if I am not staying for an actual drink. I've always been waved through.

If there's nobody there when you go in, then you catch someone on the way out and offer the same.

KERALA1 · 26/08/2018 09:57

What I did was worse op. I was in early pregnancy in a very posh deli bread shop in very posh part of London. Was paying customer suddenly knew was going to be sick asked lady at the counter if I could use their loo. "Staff only" smug smile. I made it to the door before vomiting all over their floor

Boulty · 26/08/2018 09:57

"shabby but clean enough"

You used toilets attached to a business, not a public lavatory.

Seriously -think about the comment you made!

Rudgie47 · 26/08/2018 09:57

Theres no public toilets left for people and its an offence to go to the toilet in the street. What are people supposed to do, wet themselves or worse?
OP if I was you I'd have bought some nuts or crisps.

strawberrisc · 26/08/2018 09:57

I get really pissed off (pardon the pun) at the lack of public toilets. I get why people go into places when they're desperate and I get why the owners/managers get fed up with non-paying customers.

I live near the coast and it's a lovely day out but the lack of toilets is lamentable.

KERALA1 · 26/08/2018 09:59

In your place op I would have bought a bag of crisps. In my head rule is chain place can use the loo any other place you buy something or you may piss owners off

tessieandoz · 26/08/2018 10:01

If I ever have to use facilities in an " emergency" I laways ask if possibe and then pop 50p or £1 in a charity box. ( there's always at least one) win win. Also, if seen by staff that I am saying thank you, they are disproportionately grateful.

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 10:02

Boulty

I thought that. How entitled.

ArcheryAnnie · 26/08/2018 10:03

Bitter old pub hag probably doesn't have any kids.

Loopy83 you sound nice...

Omgoap · 26/08/2018 10:08

Haha people on mumsnet are so holier than thou. You needed a loo and you used it - own it, one flush isn’t going to bankrupt them! Stuff a stupid woman who is so bored she even notices people walking in and bothers to make bets on them. Don’t give it a second thought...

30hours · 26/08/2018 10:10

Yanbu... anyone would else would do the same
Unless all the posters disagreeing would prefer to wet themselves while pregnant? It’s just virtue signalling.

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 10:11

You needed a loo and you used it - own it, one flush isn’t going to bankrupt them!

Right, so the OP is the only person in the world who has ever done this?

Also, the line on when people are or aren't allowed to take the piss is situated at the brink of bankruptcy?

How about people "own" their actions by apologising for them and accepting that they were being rude?

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 10:12

30hours

No, I wouldn't wet myself. I would use the toilet and then buy a drink, thus making myself a customer.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 26/08/2018 10:12

I usually ask before I do so, and offer to make a donation. Or just sneak in. It's fair game.
As for randoms making comments, better get used to it, you have another 18 years or so of it to come

30hours · 26/08/2018 10:12

@pengggwn you aren’t the lady with the kid called peng are you? Just curious. Sorry if not

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 26/08/2018 10:13

Well I’ve been in a pub many times and NOT used the loo so have that one on me OP

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 10:15

30hours

Come again?

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 26/08/2018 10:16

Yanbu I think needing the toilet is understandable. Plenty of people really need to go sometimes!

It is polite to ask though. Although hotels are a pretty good alternative.

It’s a bit weird to get uppity about it as another customer. I think that’s mean. But brush it off life is too short to worry about it.

frogsoup · 26/08/2018 10:17

So much mean spiritedness. Where has society got to that people can possibly think using a pub loo when heavily pregnant is 'entitled'? (God I hate that miserable little word with a passion). If as a pub you can't spare a few sheets of loo paper for what are quite likely current or future customers without them buying a drink on that particular occasion, you are really shit at business as much as anything. There's a local cafe with a 'loos for paying customers only!!!!' sign. It's next door to one where the owner is a kind soul who'd sooner chop her own arm off than not allow someone who needed it to use the loo. One is always full, the other isn't, and you can guess which - meanness is really bad for business. In the same vein, a delicious local cafe (that I used regularly) started charging for tap water. It was the last ever time I went in, and it closed soon afterwards.

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 26/08/2018 10:17

P.s. in pubs I just buy a packet of crisps! And ask. Of you need the toilet the last thing you need is a drink.

spidey66 · 26/08/2018 10:17

I often use pub loos, if I have the time I'll buy a coke or something. I'll often use McDs or public buildings like libraries, hospitals or GP surgeries (the large health centre types). They're usually accommodating to people rushing in for the loo.

I suffered from a very large and for a long time undiagnosed fibroid which was causing me to wee loads and with little warning, as well as bowel issues. I've since had a hysterectomy which has resolved it, but still, when you've gotta go and there are no public loos.....

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 10:19

frogsoup

Your post is the very definition of entitled. Why should businesses provide free toilet facilities to every Tom, Dick and Harry on the offchance they will come back and buy a drink in 2020? They are perfectly within their rights to put in place whatever policy works for their business.

30hours · 26/08/2018 10:19

@pengggwn
Sorry there’s a lady on here who called her child peng. I was wondering if it was you.

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 10:20

30hours

Why would that be relevant right now?

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 26/08/2018 10:21

Hotels are really good places to walk in and use the lo, the posher the better.
you just walk in looking confident, nobody will challenge you.
If they do, you say you are there to meet your aunt, Mrs Al Somebody.

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