To be upset my friends have met up without me?

[creamandpink]

Saw on Instagram

Boo boo, feel v sorry for me today.

If so then I think you're being a tad unreasonable as I would never think to invite a friend without kids to a day out like that-mainly because when I was childless I would rather have pulled my fingernails out than participate in such an event.

You managed to get beyond the stats of childlessness. For some of us that never happens so you can end up losing all your friends if they decide you’re no longer worth inviting to “mummy days out”.

I know Purple, I've been there.

I just meant that maybe it wasn't a deliberate 'let's not invite OP' but more a thoughtless assumption that she wouldn't be bothered going to the park for the afternoon or whatever.

Aww, that's really rubbish, OP. I'm sorry

Are some people really that stupid these days though, that they don't think about you seeing them online, and how bad that might make you feel.

It happens to my teenage daughter sometimes, and is shit, but a group of gown women should know better, and act with more sensitivity and decorum.

grown

Thoughtless

This used to happen to me with the same group of people, so one day I outright asked them what the problem was, as if I am a twat I really need to know so I can sort myself out! They all became a bit sheepish and said sorry we didn’t realise we had forgot yo ask you. I told them to fuck off and I haven't seen them since. I still don’t know if I am a twat or not😂

@crazydoglady6867

"Am I a twat?" I love it. Sometimes you have to confront people and get things out in the open. My DD did this at school last year with a group of nasty girls who bad-mouthed her behind her back. She ditched the lot of them and made a new group of real friends. I was so proud of her!

OP hasn’t provided enough info.

I am sure you are not a twat 😂

I was on a night out with 2 reaquanted school friends and one said we should invite Jay to next girls night it was then decided that the girls needed to be asked first and friend 2 said I will get back to you I said it is fine don't bother because i probably wouldn't meet their approval and i left the pub. My arsiness came from a few wines tbf but it did really bug me

Did they go somewhere you would have liked? So often days out with DS involve miniature trains or soft play (alongside the whining and snot) that I would be embarrassed to ask anyone not in the same situation.

What info do you ‘need’ Loopy? I feel a bit rubbish is all.

Is there any chance that your child is not well behaved / too boisterous for some of the other children?
I have a couple of Mum friends and we used to meet with DC, but as they grew up they grew apart so now we meet without DC.

How long you’ve known them and they’ve known each other; how often you’re in touch with them, meet up; whether you all have DC. Stuff like that.

Eg if they’re a long established friendship group and you’ve known one or two of them a few months, that’s different from, say, you and three schoolfriends regularly meeting up with and without DC.

And as PPs say, if you don’t have DC, or work FT or whatever, they may not think to invite you to daytime stuff with DC.

Sorry - I don’t have small children

My invisible child behaves perfectly I’ll have you know!

I'm sorry, OP. I know the feeling all too well and it really, really sucks. But sadly, people really can be really, really unkind and cliquey ... until it happens to them.

YA NBU. Whether they thought you'd be interested or not you could have still been asked.

On one hand I'm tempted to say be straight and have it out with them. OTOH Im saying.
Oh fuck the clique exclusive cunts and Don't give them the satisfaction of letting them know it bothers you.

Do you usually go on their days out with the children? Is it possible they thought you’d be bored so didn’t ask you?

They probably thought you wouldn't want to be around all their small children. I know I wouldn't in your position. Small children are time consuming and tedious (unless they are yours). And they tend to totally dominate any gathering they are at.

This thread worries me a bit because I like to see people sort of individually... I dont like to always see the same people at everything I do... Sometimes I get invited to stuff by certain friends and I go to that... then if I havent seen someone for a while or a couple of people for a while then ill invite them to do something etc.... Most of my friends do know each other at least a bit
I did recently have an issue with one friend getting offended that she wasnt 'invited' to something and I thought she was being unreasonable... but maybe im wrong?

The minute you explained you don't have DC and it was a "day out with the kids" that completely changes things. They just assumed you wouldn't want to go on a playdate. Hell, I wouldn't have gone near one before I had my own DC. But if you want to next time just say to them that you wish they'd mentioned it. Unless there's other stuff you've been missed out of then you are taking offence where none was intended maliciously at all.

Happene to my birth group. Still dont understand why i was excluded think it might be because im not into designergear. Having thought about it yes it hurt but glad it happened in dd first year so not too investigated. Since made amazing mummy friends. Seeing them at a neural friends dd party. Going for pleasant and polite. Im grateful now they decided the break for me. It was a photo on fb that gave it away. I have since quietly backed away. Not my circus.

One of them has privately told neural friend shes really looking forward to seeing me. Im looking forward to seeing the children.

They could have said “we’re planning to take the kids out for the day tomorrow. You’re very welcome to come if you’d like to, but please don’t feel you have to if you don’t think you’d enjoy it.” That way you could have made up your own mind without feeling excluded.

It wasn’t nice to go out without telling you.

Most people simply assume people without DC won’t want to attend daytime things with DC.

I would never have thought about inviting a child-free friend on a trip with other children, because a day out with children is hard work and has little scope for having grown up fun. We went on a day trip to a theme park with friends and their DC before we had a child of our own and I think it must have put us off starting a family for at least another 5 years! They probably thought you had far better things to do with your time than watch them juggling bags, wipes and marmite sandwiches in between numerous trips to the toilet and arguments over who uses the play equipment.

I've never been a "group of friends" person, having 1 to 1 friendships, so maybe my response isn't that relevant, but I have a friend who'd throw big warm parties for her friends and invite me. I got to know them although not to the point of meeting with some of them individually and developing such friendships. Sometimes she would invite me to these big get-togethers, sometimes not. And she said "sometimes I invite you, sometimes not". I felt ok with that. I accepted that this is her, that how she is, and she is still a friend.