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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Well off friend in council house

293 replies

toughtimes2001 · 23/08/2018 19:31

Please tell me if I am being unfair.

My friend and her partner (mid 20's) earn a combined salary of of £65K (no kids) and have a cheap council tenancy home with a massive garden in a lovely part of London (her partner sneakily inherited the tenancy from his deceased father a couple of years back). The have a lovely life with plenty of disposable income as their rent is very cheap and go on lovely holidays and are saving up a massive deposit for their own home which they intend to buy in a couple of years. I should also add, she has very wealthy parents who dish out money to them left right and centre for various things throughout the year.

Meanwhile, I a single mum earn £19K (no family support) privately rent a rubbish 1 bedroom flat (which is more in rent than they pay) in a rubbish part of town with no hope of ever buying a home or taking my DS on a luxury holiday. I have also been told I am not a priority for housing so no hope for me any time soon!

Am I right to think this is just completely unfair?

OP posts:
POPholditdown · 23/08/2018 20:55

Unfortunately, it’s how the world works. Different people have different qualities of life.

If I’d had a secure tenancy, I wouldn’t rush to give it up because someone else doesn’t. If that was the case, no one would eat well because there’s others who are hungry, no one would by new clothes because there’s others who can’t afford it.

Similarly, you should be happy to have a roof over your head, as there’s others who don’t!

Clairetree1 · 23/08/2018 20:57

It looks like everyone thinks its fair that myself and my DS should be cramped in a small flat with a worse quality of life

you are responsible for your own situation, not theirs.

study

get more qualifications

progress in work or get better job

How about being grateful that you have a home when so many thousands of people don't?

Sort yourself out, if you are not happy with what you have got

what qualifications do you have?

Hopscotch68 · 23/08/2018 20:59

What about your kids dad?

Is he contributing? Your life may have been better if you were in a 2 parent family. For whatever reason, you aren't, which isn't your friends fault!!

flopsyrabbit1 · 23/08/2018 20:59

op why should you be in the flat instead of them??

just because you have a dc does not mean that you are a better cause

there both working and have been saving for years,they are focused and at some point will free up this flat

blardy hell i cant believe they are being bashed by op for this

user1457017537 · 23/08/2018 21:00

Why don’t you put your name down on the Council housing list. Anyone in your situation can. It may take 5 or more years and you will have to be pro-active and bid for a property but it is worth your while being on the list. Personally I advise everyone when they are 16 or so to go and put their name down, it is open to everyone if you don’t own property.

fairgame84 · 23/08/2018 21:02

it is open to everyone if you don’t own property.

Depends on the council. My local council only accepts people who have a 'housing need'. If you are in a private rent and not overcrowded then you can't apply.

Neshoma · 23/08/2018 21:07

That is the fault of the RTB policy and the money made from said policy not being funnelled back into building more SOCIAL housing

But why should the taxpayer fund social housing so people on £65k a year can live cheaply when they are no doubt paying a mortgage.

We need to stop people automatically inheriting tenancies.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 23/08/2018 21:08

I think it is totally normal for you to feel some bitterness and resentment that they are living in subsidised housing which is inaccessible to you.

It's not their fault - they haven't done anything wrong, or anything any sensible person wouldn't do, but I know in your situation it would sting every time I thought about it.

NotBeforeCoffee · 23/08/2018 21:08

When you say he 'sneakily inherited the tenancy' do you really mean lawfully and honestly inherited it?

HelenaDove · 23/08/2018 21:11

"We need to stop people automatically inheriting tenancies. "

so you think he should have been out on his arse after caring for his father.

The day is coming when carers really need to go on strike. If this attitude towards carers continues they can always refuse to care and then taxpayers will have to pick up the bill for more social care.

LeighaJ · 23/08/2018 21:11

I'm another who doesn't understand how one "sneakily inherits" a tenancy?

I'm sure he'd rather have his Dad still alive then a swanky lifestyle.

If I had to guess he lived with his father and that's how he was able to inherit the tenancy.

So if his Dad was still alive and letting his son and his partner live with him ren't free while they saved for a deposit would that also be unfair to you???

HelenaDove · 23/08/2018 21:12

Tawdry the subsidy was removed in 2010

Bluelady · 23/08/2018 21:14

The taxpayer doesn't fund council housing, council tenants do. That house will have been paid for over and over again by the tenants who live there.

OP, you really need to lose the bitterness and envy or your life will be a litany of misery.

Lethaldrizzle · 23/08/2018 21:14

Yanbu, I do not understand why kids should inherit council housing especially if they don't need it. It's a really fucked up system. It should go to people who need it

NotBeforeCoffee · 23/08/2018 21:19

They sound like decent hard working people.

You sound very jealous and angry at your own situation and are turning your anger onto these people.

Should they be made to struggle just because you are?

Don't hate the player, hate the game

iamyourequal · 23/08/2018 21:22

Can I ask how many bedrooms this council house has OP. There are rights to both succession and assignation in social housing. Your friends boyfriend would have been entitled to succeed to his dads tenancy providing he was living there in the 6/12 month period prior to his dad’s death.

People can also take over council tenancies by ‘assignation’. You should look into this. If your friend has room for you, and will let you live there with them for a bit, they might be able to assign the tenancy to you when they buy their new house and move on. You should look into it. There may be rules of under occupation/overcrowding that prevent it but you never know. If you do get permission to move in, make sure you make a good impression. These things can help.

Cobrider · 23/08/2018 21:22

Where did OP say that he cared for his father? Anyway, hope you are enjoying the predictable outaged pile on to the OP.

Mintylicious · 23/08/2018 21:24

Perhaps YANBU that morally speaking they don’t need a council house. But if it’s legal, that’s their business.

But YABU to think that their situation should be yours, or in some way entitles you to something.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=wbey33os6Fg

LilQueenie · 23/08/2018 21:24

You sound jealous and that attitude won't get you far in life. Don't pass it on to your child.

itsoknottobeokok · 23/08/2018 21:26

Life is unfair.
They're doing nothing wrong. There's nothing sneaky about inheriting a tenancy.

flopsyrabbit1 · 23/08/2018 21:28

op dosent sound much like a friend

UpstartCrow · 23/08/2018 21:29

"We need to stop people automatically inheriting tenancies."

Personally I think we need to return to creating social housing, but we don't always get what we want.

xJessica · 23/08/2018 21:31

I have friends who are earning £75k and in a council flat with extremely low rent. I do think it's really unfair on the people who genuinely need it, when they could clearly afford a private rent. Our income is a third of that and we manage to private rent, paying more than double what they do in the month for rent.

ThistleAmore · 23/08/2018 21:31

My OH and I paid our mortgage off last year. We're not even 40.

Admittedly, our nice wee flat isn't very fancy, but it's in a nice area, we've lived in it for 15 years and we love it. We also WORKED OUR F*CKING SOCKS OFF and went without for years to do this.

It came up in casual conversation a few months ago with a 'friend*', who then went on to accuse us of being massive liggers who do nothing but party and go on holiday, because we have no mortgage and no children (by choice).

No. We have a house, because it's something we chose to invest in by doing without other things. Now we have a thing. If other people want other things, then fair f*cks to them.

*No longer a friend, BTW.

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