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AIBU?

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Original poster

Well off friend in council house

293 replies

toughtimes2001 · 23/08/2018 19:31

Please tell me if I am being unfair.

My friend and her partner (mid 20's) earn a combined salary of of £65K (no kids) and have a cheap council tenancy home with a massive garden in a lovely part of London (her partner sneakily inherited the tenancy from his deceased father a couple of years back). The have a lovely life with plenty of disposable income as their rent is very cheap and go on lovely holidays and are saving up a massive deposit for their own home which they intend to buy in a couple of years. I should also add, she has very wealthy parents who dish out money to them left right and centre for various things throughout the year.

Meanwhile, I a single mum earn £19K (no family support) privately rent a rubbish 1 bedroom flat (which is more in rent than they pay) in a rubbish part of town with no hope of ever buying a home or taking my DS on a luxury holiday. I have also been told I am not a priority for housing so no hope for me any time soon!

Am I right to think this is just completely unfair?

OP posts:
AngelsAckiz · 23/08/2018 20:38

Be angry at the government for not building more social housing.

My rent is incredibly high and we are in a small 2 bedroom flat. Life is very hard. You can't blame people who live in those houses. Why would they move when they have such a great gig going on? You wouldn't in the same boat I'm sure.

It's their family home and there's roots there.

Original poster
toughtimes2001 · 23/08/2018 20:39

It looks like everyone thinks its fair that myself and my DS should be cramped in a small flat with a worse quality of life whilst my friend and her partner swan around living the good life (meals out, parties, city breaks, exotic travel) and saving up £80K for a house deposit all whilst paying minimal rent on a lovely home.

I just don't understand how people can defend that.

OP posts:
happinessiseggshaped · 23/08/2018 20:41

Disappointed by a lot of people on this thread who just say work harder, or that people deserve what they get in life. At best impressively naive.

The whole system of social and 'affordable' housing doesn't work. However, as others have said, comparing your life to others wont solve the problem and won't make you happy.

I would write to your MP. They are, realistically, the only people who can do anything about it as the system is so broken. It wont help you. But might make you feel better to actually do something positive about it.

MissConductUS · 23/08/2018 20:41

You said at the top that they earn a combined 65k per year, so how are they saving 80k per year for a house deposit?

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 23/08/2018 20:43

honestly you need to change your mentality.
Guess what life isn't 'fair'.
I have a friend whose parents sold her their massive house at half price, and her boyfriend paid the mortgage.
I don't sit around whining about it ffs...that is life.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 23/08/2018 20:43

If you only allow poor people to live in council houses they then become ghetto's.

Seniorcitizen1 · 23/08/2018 20:43

The green eyed monster appears yet again on MM

HelenaDove · 23/08/2018 20:43

Dishonest Sneaky? No its the law

one of the recommendations in the #socialhousinggreenpaper is to end the stigma against social housing tenants although they are responsible for a lot of it But this and the other aspects of it dont go far enough.

council housing was meant to be for anyone who wanted it.

Ive heard bereavement described as many things but never as lucky.

Original poster
toughtimes2001 · 23/08/2018 20:45

Not per year, they want to have an £80K deposit in total. They have been saving since they started work at age18/19 so I have been led to believe.

OP posts:
LavenderDoll · 23/08/2018 20:45

I don't think anyone thinks they are more deserving than you
Life isn't fair - they are doing nothing wrong and he didn't sneakily get his name on the tenancy - he lost his Dad
Everyone has stuff that they would change In their lives - no point deciding you are more deserving than someone else.

GabsAlot · 23/08/2018 20:46

theyr eintending to move so they do have morals let it be life in unfair to everyone at some point

HelenaDove · 23/08/2018 20:47

toughtimes that is not their fault. That is the fault of the RTB policy and the money made from said policy not being funnnelled back into building more SOCIAL housing Social not affordable because they are not the same thing.

I post about this a LOT on here. Happy for you to AS me if you want to learn more.

BakedBeans47 · 23/08/2018 20:47

I can see why you think it is unfair OP, some people just seem to have everything fall into their lap and others struggle and never get a break. Life’s not fair generally x

SoyDora · 23/08/2018 20:48

It looks like everyone thinks its fair that myself and my DS should be cramped in a small flat with a worse quality of life whilst my friend and her partner swan around living the good life (meals out, parties, city breaks, exotic travel) and saving up £80K for a house deposit all whilst paying minimal rent on a lovely home

As I said upthread, their situation has no bearing on yours. Them giving up their tenancy won’t mean that you get one. All that will happen is that they end up private renting as well as you.

ThatchersCold · 23/08/2018 20:48

I really can’t see a problem.

I have more of a problem with the guy up the road from me who is a known drug dealer, doesn’t work, has a fleet of ridiculously flash cars outside his house, several long haul holidays a year etc, who lives in a HA house with his partner and kids. One of the nicer HA houses too.

That’s unfair.

HelenaDove · 23/08/2018 20:49

although THEY are responsible for a lot of it meaning the policy makers in Gov. thats who i meant just to clarify.

gobbynorthernbird · 23/08/2018 20:49

Are your parents still alive, OP?

specialsubject · 23/08/2018 20:49

your anger could be directed at those who used right to buy ( but who wouldn't?) or all who wont vote for the higher taxes needed to build enough for 70 million people ( did you vote for that?). But you cant see them so you cant direct your jealousy. same reason people hate landlords not housing associations - can only hate people not institutions.

these two have plans in place to vacate the house.

with no family ties, why not go somewhere cheaper? there are jobs outside London.

Rebecca36 · 23/08/2018 20:52

You are so flipping green with envy! So what? Be glad for your friend and partner and work on your own issues, You are being horrible.

Life is not fair, get used to it.

Passmethecrisps · 23/08/2018 20:52

Your situation is rubbish and unfair. their situation has no bearing on yours, however. They were in the right place at the right time and did what I believe most sensible people would do. And at a combined income of £65k of course they are comfortable but frankly doing what they are is the only way they will ever own their own property. What else should they do? Give up what is legally theirs on a matter of principle?

BewareOfDragons · 23/08/2018 20:52

I bet your 20-something friend would give ANYTHING to have his father back instead of his father's home right now.

HelenaDove · 23/08/2018 20:52

A lot of housing associations dont behave any better than the private landlords do.

fairgame84 · 23/08/2018 20:53

They aren't doing anything wrong.
They are in a good position and it sounds like they are making the most of it. Good for them, I wish I was in their position.

Fwiw my dbro and sil earn 5x what I do and live in a council house while I am in a private rent. I don't envy them at all, im pleased that they are doing well.
Jealousy just causes bitterness. Focus on your own life and how to make the best of your situation.

user1457017537 · 23/08/2018 20:54

Op you say that you can’t understand why people are defending the fact that your friend and her partner have a disposable income and can save and take holidays. Whist you and your son are in a small private rented flat paying far more rent and not having such a high standard of living. There will always be people who are far better off than you and people who have more difficulties than you. We do not live in a communist or even a socialist country. What she has doesn’t effect you. If her partner was on the Tenancy they have every right to live in the council property.

BewareOfDragons · 23/08/2018 20:55

Fine. Since you're convinced this is so grossly unfair, I suggest you go to your parents and tell them you would like one of them to kick off now please and leave behind a big life insurance policy in your name so you can buy a better place to live.

Because that's essentially what happened to your friend, only the 'policy' was the actual tenancy on the house

Give yourself a fucking shake..