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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Well off friend in council house

293 replies

toughtimes2001 · 23/08/2018 19:31

Please tell me if I am being unfair.

My friend and her partner (mid 20's) earn a combined salary of of £65K (no kids) and have a cheap council tenancy home with a massive garden in a lovely part of London (her partner sneakily inherited the tenancy from his deceased father a couple of years back). The have a lovely life with plenty of disposable income as their rent is very cheap and go on lovely holidays and are saving up a massive deposit for their own home which they intend to buy in a couple of years. I should also add, she has very wealthy parents who dish out money to them left right and centre for various things throughout the year.

Meanwhile, I a single mum earn £19K (no family support) privately rent a rubbish 1 bedroom flat (which is more in rent than they pay) in a rubbish part of town with no hope of ever buying a home or taking my DS on a luxury holiday. I have also been told I am not a priority for housing so no hope for me any time soon!

Am I right to think this is just completely unfair?

OP posts:
sulflower · 23/08/2018 22:07

Sulflower I stopped living off my parents when I was 17.

Why has that got to do with anything? You're not the only one. My daughter left home to go to uni at a young age, supported herself while there and bought her first property in her middle 20's with her own hard earned cash.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 23/08/2018 22:08

"her partner sneakily inherited the tenancy from his deceased father a couple of years back"

I'm sure he'd rather have a Dad than a house Hmm

Lethaldrizzle · 23/08/2018 22:09

Op yanbu. I think the system is completely wrong. It should be there for people who really need it, not 'lucky' chancers who know how to play the system

MissVanjie · 23/08/2018 22:10

If people put half the energy into lobbying their representatives to prioritise social housing and do something about ridiculous rents and lack of rights for private tenants that they do into envying the small (and getting smaller) group of people who are adequately and fairly housed in social housing, then things would actually change. It’s people who can’t see further than the end of their own noses turning against each other that means we’re all locked into a race to the bottom fighting over scraps and begrudging anyone anything ever.

Lethaldrizzle · 23/08/2018 22:10

Why does grieving for your father mean you should get a council house

Bluelonerose · 23/08/2018 22:11

Would you be happier if she gave up her job and popped a few kids out instead. Would that make them more deserving of their home Hmm

bimbobaggins · 23/08/2018 22:12

That’s a pretty grim way to took at life lethal lucky chancers. Yes he’s real lucky .I’m sure he’d rather have his dad than a council house.

DownAndUnder · 23/08/2018 22:14

It’s annoying but legal and nothing you can do about it. Our LA doesn’t let anyone inherit a house unless they were already living there, which is a much fairer system. I know 3 people who become high earners and gave their council property back, we’re not in London though where 65k a year won’t buy you much.

Amanduh · 23/08/2018 22:15

My friend lives in a council property. Her rent is double my mortgage payments. It’s definitely not the ‘cheap’ option for her. They are saving for a deposit. You can’t compare everything in life to other people amd say it’s ‘Unfair’ or nobody would ever be anywhere.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 23/08/2018 22:16

Our LA doesn’t let anyone inherit a house unless they were already living there, which is a much fairer system

Isn’t that the same everywhere? england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/council_housing_association/can_you_inherit_a_council_tenancy

ArcheryAnnie · 23/08/2018 22:18

My daughter left home to go to uni at a young age, supported herself while there and bought her first property in her middle 20's with her own hard earned cash.

This is such a ridiculous bootstraps argument. Most people in their twenties could work their socks off, and still never earn enough to be able to afford a house. It's disingenuous to suggest they can.

Brambleboo · 23/08/2018 22:21

I'm torn in situations like this. These people could easily manage to find another home and free up badly needed social housing.

I know the answer is for the govt to invest in social housing but it's something they just oppose outright.

There are families who receive local housing allowance but are rejected outright by private landlords, even if they are able to pay the remainder of the rent themselves. Disabled people struggle as private landlords often do not permit alterations that are needed. These are situations where social housing is needed.

Maybe it should be that social housing tenancies can't be passed on. After all, a private rental agreement can't be passed on automatically to offspring. This might help to free up some stock.

user1457017537 · 23/08/2018 22:26

Until two years ago it was perfectly possible to buy a terraced house in Kent for £120,000 or a flat. There are direct trains into Central London.

neveradullmoment99 · 23/08/2018 22:28

They have been fortunate to inherit a council house - that's the way the cookie crumbles. They are saving to buy a house of their own. If you had been in their position, would you have passed up the council house? Would you have given it up and made life harder for yourself. Your situation is harder but it is the hand you have been dealt with. You cannot begrudge them for what they have.
A lot of people i know have massive inheritances and are able to buy large houses or extend their houses or are given money by their well off parents. I live in a well off area. I live in a fairly small house and my circumstances are unlikely to change or get that much better so i am stuck here. Its hard but i try to concentrate on my journey in life and not the journey of others.

M3lon · 23/08/2018 22:29

of course it isn't fair or right. But I can't imagine what has led you to believe that life is fair?!?

With an income of 19K per year and a roof over your head you are doing better than around 97% of the world population.

You think its fair that there are children out there picking over landfill sites to feed themselves, under daily threat of rape?

Yes, your friends have an even cushier deal than you and your son, but top 3% is nothing to sneeze at. You are just comparing yourself to the wrong people.

seven201 · 23/08/2018 22:34

Life isn't fail sometimes. You need to get over it though.

For what it's worth I don't agree with council houses being passed down. My in-laws are thinking of moving out of their housing association House as they want to move to the seaside and get out of London. Sil might take over the tenancy (move back in once her parents are out) so that after two years she qualifies to buy the House at a discount. Then she'll sell or rent it out. I don't begrudge them that as the system allows it. If she saved hard she'd be able to buy a flat in London without the discount, as she has a good job. I don't think the next generation should be turned out as soon as a parent dies. But they shouldn't automatically get a home that they might not need when someone else really needs it.

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/08/2018 22:39

I know someone who did sneakily get a cheap HA property.

Your friend didn't do anything sneakily.
Successive governments have sold off housing now that you should be moaning about.

tillytoodles1 · 23/08/2018 22:42

Our council house rent is 90.00 a month, heating included. My H has MS and we live in a flat with all mod cons and a call system. I hate it.

Kismett · 23/08/2018 22:42

I think it’s all just a distraction, pitting “lower classes” against each other with benefit fraud and council housing complaints and whatever else. While a few people continue to get very rich off the rest of us and hope that we continue and thinking each other is the enemy.

The “well off” people I take issue with do not live in council houses.

Poloshot · 23/08/2018 22:44

£65k in London, not exactly rolling in it are they. Stop whinging and concentrate on your own life

BeUpStanding · 23/08/2018 22:47

YABVVVVVU to be bitter and jealous

librarysuperstar · 23/08/2018 22:54

YANBU at all and I'm honestly shocked by all the nasty/sanctimonious posts telling you comparison is the thief of joy etc. Maybe living in a pokey little one bedroom flat with your DS is the thief of joy in this instance and given the huge lack of affordable housing it is particularly unfair. Not suggesting you should sit around sticking pubs in voodoo dolls or anything but I can absolutely see why you'd feel upset.

Although - your friends have not taken anything from you, aren't responsible for the government's crappy policies on social housing so they aren't really doing anything 'wrong', at least not looked at through an individualistic lense which unfortunately is how the majority of people do see things.

Sorry you're struggling, I really wish there was more help and properly affordable housing available. It's a gross social injustice IMO.

neveradullmoment99 · 23/08/2018 22:54

But they shouldn't automatically get a home that they might not need when someone else really needs it.

The problem is NOT people who have good jobs in council houses. Its a disgrace that people feel that way.
The problem is that everyone should be entitled to have a house in some shape or form. Social housing should be available for everyone or private renting should be managed better. Its a human right to have a roof over its head. The problem is with the government not replenishing social housing/sorting out private rentals.

neveradullmoment99 · 23/08/2018 22:58

...and isn't it clever for the government to deflect the blame for this mess by getting people to resent other people.

GirlfriendInAKorma · 23/08/2018 22:58

Of course it's not fair that people on low incomes should have to shell out loads on rent for barely acceptable properties :( it's shit!

Direct your anger in the right direction though...