To ask how you would react if your 15 year old was pregnant

[IhaveNCdforthispost]

And was unable to terminate. I am interested in how you would react to this.

I know what you mean, and I would never tell my daughter she couldn’t get an abortion, but I understand why some parents would be uncomfortable with it (as I understand why some would be with someone keeping a pregnancy. Ultimately it has to be the woman’s choice imo).

Hope you get it sorted soon. I had miscarriages but was lucky enough that it was a fixable issue. I remember the hell it was, wouldn’t wish any sort of reproductive/infertility issue on anyone as it is really shit.

I certainly wouldn't be sad or disappointed - I don't really understand why those feelings are so common? I'd be surprised and feel worried about how what she was facing into but my feelings would be very coloured by the fact that I always wanted children and desperately feared not having them - so I feel like any baby is a blessing and wishing it not to be there is just awful. The timing is really bad but things rarely happen according to plan in life anyway and I would be far sadder and more disappointed for my DD if she came to me at a later age and said she wanted children but was infertile - I would be devastated for her. I would have some sense of dread about going into the newborn years again and worry about the health of the baby and my DD but I would overall be happy I think - having my children is by far the best thing that happened to me and while I wouldn't have chosen to be a mother at 15 I think being a mother is a good thing even if it isn't perfect. I would really hope I could give her all the help she needed and I'd be very excited to meet my new family member.

Termination isn't one of them. You don't kill a child because it's an inconvenience. (I'm a nurse. I know life begins at conception.)

You seem to be quite thick. Oh wow, you're a nurse. You could just as easily be a baker, a factory worker, a carpenter. You don't seem to have the most basic of knowledge about cells and 'life'. Don't embarrass yourself any further.

I’d discuss adoption with her, I think. I’d be devastated.

I'd be absolutely gutted and feel like a total failure as a parent. Many have got stories of friends or even themselves who had babies at such a young age and everything turned out well, however many other young mums don't have such a great ending to their stories.
I would encourage her to have a termination but if she chose not to, or it was too late, I'd make it clear that I would support her to minimise the impact the baby would have on her education. But I wouldn't look after the baby myself.

*So you don't agree with a copper IUD? Or the contraceptive pill?

Because these methods they "kill children"*

Ummmmm no they don’t, they prevent conception, not cause a miscarriage

I would be devastated. Having children when you are an adult is hard enough!

Bold fail ^

*diddl

"But being realistic, attending uni a few days a week and writing essays around it- was probably less time consuming than working 37.5 hours a week!"

So you worked on other days to support yourselves?*

We both worked for the local authority, around 16 hours a week during term time and full time during holidays. We had to, as we would have scrimped by on just student loans, and we both had cars as we needed to commute to university and placements.
However, baby number 2 several years later- it was harder going back to work full time when he was 6 months, than it was combining university and a baby. That was the point I was trying to make.

i fell pregnant at 15, and had my son a month before my 16th birthday. i have always been very close to my mum and dad but still dreaded telling them. in the end i ended up just blurting it out to my dad one night before bursting into tears. my dad gave me the biggest hug he’d ever given me and basically said what’s done is done and now all we can do is get on with it. my mum was more upset than angry because she had me when she was 16 and know it would be hard but she quickly came around to the idea. my whole family supported me every step of the way and i thank my lucky stars every day that i have such a loving and supportive family.

Can someone tell me why all my bold is failing today??? Sorry if it appears my posts don’t make sense.

Snowy you haven’t put anough * in. One at the end of your first sentence and one at the start of the next.

Exactly what ParisBun said.

SnowyAlps

agnurse claims that life begins at the "moment of conception.

Many IUDs work by allowing conception to occur ( and "life" to begin) but irritate the uterus into flushing out this young embryo in menstruation. So a the analogy between IUD use and termination is not so far fetched.

With IUD use composition of menstrual products may include a young embyro.

Contraceptive pills also work by several methods- but again this is one of them.

But nurses would know that.

Actually most IUDs work by creating a barrier. Mirena actually stops ovulation and copper is toxic to sperm. So no, they aren’t allowing conception.

Ummmmm no they don’t, they prevent conception, not cause a miscarriage

That's not entirely true. (Actually not true at all.)

Many contraceptives have a preventative and "abortion-like" effects.

I only have sons. But if their gf were pregnant I'm pretty sure I might rant and rave about how stupid they had been. I'm a problem solver though, so would support them in any way that I could whatever they decided.

I'd never force a termination on anyone but I would definitely present it as one of the viable options for someone so young. Whilst there is lots of anecdotal stuff about "my friend was pregnant at 13 but is now a millionaire etc" that's not the case for the vast majority of teenage parents.

To the poster who said about having different views because of ivf, it took me 15yrs of treatment followed by 3 yrs of being childless before I got pregnant, and I still considered a termination for different reasons. How I conceived would not have changed that.

And 20% of women on it stop ovulating, so no, not an abortion.

Anyhow, contraceptives tend to work in different ways.

One is preventing fertilisation, yes. That may be achieved chemically or via a physical barrier (the most common one being the condom).

But several contraceptives also prevent a fertilised egg from implanting in the uterus...

Preventing an egg from implanting isn’t the main method, nor is it the same as removing an implanted embryo.

BlairWaldorfsHeadband

No, the copper IUD works ( it is thought by irritating the inside of the uterus, preventing implantation and causing any products of conception to be expelled.
Much like an early miscarriage or abortion.

I would be bloddy furious but would encourage her to stay in education. I would also make it very clear that the child would be her responsibility and any expectations that she may have of us raising the child as a joint enterprise, would be scorched.

My job would be to help fascinate her becoming a responsible parent and not to become the parent to a child I had no say in being conceived. A child is a huge responsibility and she would be on a steep learning curve.

Primarily works by damaging sperm.

Ah I realised I left gaps between paragraphs hence my * didn’t work- thanks for solving that for me!

Going back to the above IUD causing a miscarriage- I believe part of the argument would be when you consider ‘life’ to start. When sperm meets egg or implementation takes place?

BlairWaldorfsHeadband

Many thanks for the diagram.
As you know the pill has several effects- one is to (mostly) prevent ovulation, the other is to build up a shield of mucus at the cervix, the other is to prevent the build up of vessels in the uterine lining, so if a fertilised egg tries to implant it can't.

None of these mechanisms is foolproof alone, together they are effective.
In any one month a woman won't know which mechanism prevented pregnancy- but she doesn't need to know.

Anyhow I was simply challenging agnurse idea that life "begins at conception" and that disposing of that is "killing a child".