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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really fucking hate our dog

207 replies

fuckingdog18 · 23/08/2018 07:30

Jesus.

Both dh and I are on the verge of killing him. He barks at fuck all at any hour of the night.

He wakes our own children up and also next doors as he sets their dog off.

The dog is ruining our relationship, our children’s sleep and our relationship with the neighbours

We are in despair.

OP posts:
BarnabyBungle · 23/08/2018 08:09

I’m guessing your reluctance to answer these questions is that you know your dog gets little exercise or stimulation.... in which case that’s probably the reason.

However, having had dogs myself, I know it’s not easy to give dogs all the attention they need, and I’m far from the perfect dog owner myself.

Padparadscha · 23/08/2018 08:09

What kind of dog is it? Is it getting enough exercise? Is it warm enough at night? Has access to water? Does it need to go to the toilet? What have you tried so far?

Original poster
fuckingdog18 · 23/08/2018 08:10

Sorry, I’m multi tasking not ignoring you on purpose.

He sleeps downstairs. No crate.

OP posts:
Original poster
fuckingdog18 · 23/08/2018 08:10

He gets plenty barnaby.

OP posts:
GertrudeCB · 23/08/2018 08:10

Maybe op has gone for a quick kip and will answer questions when she is not so knackered

Juells · 23/08/2018 08:11

"Does it for attention" explains all.

You shouldn't have a dog.

SoyDora · 23/08/2018 08:11

Has he been properly trained? Does he get sufficient exercise and stimulation during the day?

salopek · 23/08/2018 08:11

You're not answering any of the questions OP.

Have you had him for 7 years?
What training have you done with him?
Where does he sleep?
Is he left on his own all day or is someone at home?
Is he getting enough exercise?

GertrudeCB · 23/08/2018 08:11

X-post.
How long ago did this behaviour start?

tinstar · 23/08/2018 08:11

Are you going to answer the questions well meaning posters are asking you op?

^^ This

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 23/08/2018 08:12

Get him upstairs.

nannybeach · 23/08/2018 08:12

What breed,how long have you had him, has it always been like this? yes, like shoes says if this is new behaviour your vet could be a good starting point. I have 2 dogs, have always had 2. Have had problems after one dog had died, and with neighbours dogs barking 20 hours out of 24, (I worked nights so had the dogs barking all day as well) Tried different things, and long story short, they now have beds at the foot of our bed. Am lookin after my DDs cat, and he keeps coming in the bedroom in the night waking me up. Tried closin the door, and he yowls and tears at the door. I love cats, but not well at the moment and finding it difficult.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 23/08/2018 08:12

If you're genuinely looking for help, get in a dog behaviourist. Follow their advice no matter how intensive it is.

We have a noise-triggered spaniel who would bark if a pigeon farted three miles away. She's got overly sensitive hearing and we spent a long time having to train her out of it. She's still a dick at times and I still spend time shouting "for fuckness sake" at her from time to time but she's far less barky, and far less sensitive to noise.

Our main changes were having noise on in the background - quietly - so she listens to Radio 2 on the Alexa when we're out and at night, putting a blanket over her crate and making sure all the curtains/blinds were shut at night so there were less triggers and, weirdly, putting a stairgate over the kitchen door so that her 'space' was just the dining room at night. The behaviourist said that part of the barking was that she had the run of the downstairs and would move from room to room almost 'defending' the house, but wasn't ever able to relax because she had too much space to defend. It really did help.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 23/08/2018 08:13

Also have him checked up for pain.

Any triggers that set it off? Squirrels? Foxes? The fridge?

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 23/08/2018 08:15

Also the other change we made was making sure she has a walk last thing at night. She used to go out at 6am for a 5k run with me then because we've got jobs and DC we'd leave her for the rest of the day. The behaviourist said to stick to the long walk in the morning but to take her for a twenty-thirty minute prance in the evening just before bedtime and pop her in the crate (with the door open) and firmly say "goodnight" and turn lights out. Again, it sounds a little batshit, but the whole routine really helped her stop being such a little fucker.

GloGirl · 23/08/2018 08:16

Honestly my dog is 4 and yes never been upstairs. But that's because he's happy downstairs.

If I was at breaking point, like you are, and the dog was that upset- he'd come upstairs with us if he needed it.

It's the quickest kindest solution for the dog and for your neighbours. But I daresay if he's left alone in the day you have a long road ahead of you of improving behaviour - but it can be done with love and work.

Tinklewinkle · 23/08/2018 08:18

I feel your pain, I’ve had no sleep for weeks.

My doggo has cushings. One of the lovely symptoms is insomnia so we’re all suffering with him.

Because he’s awake, he can hear every-bloody-thing - a squirrel scratching its arse 10 miles away will make him bark - so I’ve got a white noise ap on my phone which has helped massively.

I’d go to the vet first up and rule out any pain or medical causes

HouseworkIsASin10 · 23/08/2018 08:18

My dog went through a patch like this, would bark as soon as we went to bed. More like sporadic yaps to get attention. Started around 10yrs.
So we left the door open for her to come up to our room.
After a year or so she got out of it and stopped coming up.

Original poster
fuckingdog18 · 23/08/2018 08:21

We’ve had him since he was a puppy.

Tinkle Cake Brew

He’s been to the vet recently. It’s driving everybody to despair and back again so my sympathies are not really with the dog at present.

OP posts:
Ivegotnothing · 23/08/2018 08:21

Poor dog. Mine will bark at a sparrow fluttering 3 miles away during the day, but at night she sleeps on our bed and is as good as gold (apart from being a quilt hog). She has a snack, a drink and a cuddle then sleeps like the dead. It may just be loneliness or fear. Another vote against crates, I hate them. Love your pup and treat him like the family member he is. Get him neutered (if not already) to calm him down and get some expert training advice. Good luck.

Original poster
fuckingdog18 · 23/08/2018 08:23

Believe me no one would ever sleep again if the dog come upstairs. I am not exaggerating!

OP posts:
Nannewnannew · 23/08/2018 08:23

Have you tried a bark collar? Not the electric shock ones before I get flamed but there’s one that either vibrates or makes a noise. A friend has used one on her cavalier and it works well. I think they are less than £20 on Amazon. 🐶

Tinklewinkle · 23/08/2018 08:24

How about one of those plug in calmers?

We’re on Calmex capsules before bed but it’s been prescribed by the vet. It helps him get to sleep, he just doesn’t stay asleep

ResistanceIsNecessary · 23/08/2018 08:24

OK - some questions (am a dog owner and also volunteer at a rescue).

  1. What breed is he?
  2. Have you had him since he was a pup and if so, has he always been like this?
  3. Have there been any recent changes in your household? New house? New neighbours? New fence in the garden etc?
  4. When you come to him in the night does he stop barking as soon as he sees you, or does he carry on until you do something? E.g. fuss him, let him out, feed him etc?
BuntyII · 23/08/2018 08:24

When we moved house my dog used to spend all night barking at the moon. She couldn't see it in the old house and didn't know what it was!

Maybe you have mice in the house Confused