What age did your kids wipe their own bums?

[Luckymummy22]

DS is 3 3/4 and I still wipe his bum after a poo.
Actually I still often check my school age child too.
Should I be letting him do it himself?
He comes home from nursery regularly with dirty pants / bum and I wonder if I should be letting him do it himself at home so he will get better at it.

They are ‘preparing him for school’.

I will be having another moan but to me a 3 year old still needs help.

Dd is 5 and is hit and miss sometimes does it perfectly and other it’s terrible. 😬

Technology has the answer to this....bum washing toilets - Geberit and Viclean, I tried one at a bathroom showroom - very good and a squeaky clean arse everytime!

habibi
“Mothers lower themselves” by wiping there OWN children’s bums.

Christ on a bike get a grip.

My 8yr old ds would be mortified if I suggested checking his bum!
They were 3/4 when they could do it themselves. Any skiddy pants and Id have a quiet word about the importance of doing it properly.
Also I work in a preschool. We take them from age 2. The younger ones I happily do it for and show them how to do it, the older ones (year before school) are told to have a try themselves and then I will check help if necessary.

Disclaimer - obviously does not apply to children with Sen or bowel issues.

I’m still wiping my 6 year olds bum. No idea how this happened. I totally agree something has gone seriously wrong with the world.

4, but DD nearly 11 still leaves skiddies.

Wiping a child's arse past once they are physically capable of it, so age 6 latest I guess depending on arm length, is so so wrong.
Most of the responses given here as to why you wipe your 7 or 8 year olds bum, is because they don't want to do it for themselves.
What. The. Absolute. Fuck.
Hey mum, I don't fancy touching my shit, it stinks and is runny, you do it.
What message are you giving them if you do it for them?!?

I very rarely clean my 6 year old dd. I think she stopped asking about 4 or 5.

Mine never asked ! They never had the expectarion to....

I used to be puzzled at the "prepared for school" lists that included taking off shoes, coat toileting etc But now am.feeling less surprised if mumsnet parents are doing all this for 4 and 5 year olds!!!

Really Adventures? Your children transitioned seamlessly from you wiping them during nappy changes to wiping themselves without help as soon as they toilet trained? I’m amazed.

arethere. So so wrong? in what way?

How about “mum I’ve accidently touched my shit trying to wipe/ smeared it across my bum cheek/ended up with some of it back in my pants/blocked your toilet with my 74th attempt, can you help me be clean and not smell like shit and end up with a sore backside??”

Haworthia - TBH I would have thought that was pretty normal, obviously not seamlessly, that's a bit OTT and not what Adventures said but surely part of toilet training is to teach them to wipe, it really doesn't take long IME, it was just part and parcel of teaching them. I just assumed all parents would start teaching them to wipe as soon as they were out of nappies, even if it was a token effort from them having a go with you helping at the start.

This thread has really left me feeling a bit but maybe not entirely surprised as the amount of NT children who cannot dress themselves, do shoe laces and other basic every day things at older ages these days is pretty shocking.

I feel like I have to say every time this obviously doesn't apply to those with issues but I know quite a few parents who admit that their DCs can't do it as they don't have time to let them as they need to get to work etc in the mornings. I think it is a sign of different times and it is understandable to an extent. Going back 35 years when I was starting school, in my whole class only 2 mums worked (they were both teachers) so on the whole people genuinely did have more time. Things are much harder now.

Exactly haworthia
Child does first ever poo on potty, wipes bum, washes hands and goes to the kitchen to cook everyone’s dinner.

Singing - I don't think most people are saying they wouldn't help if required from time to time, incidents/accidents happen of course but there is a seriously large number of posters on this thread who are still regularly wiping 6-8yos (and older) bums. I absolutely do not believe there is any NT 7 or 8 yo with no toileting/medical issues who cannot wipe their own bum.

Singing - that would be impressive, I haven't seen a post where anyone has said that (apologies if I have missed one though)

My just-turned-6-yo DS has been confidently doing it for over a year (I focussed on it in the lead-up to school as he was a bit hit-and-miss).

My 4.25-yo DD has had extremely high toileting resistance and it's been a minor miracle to even get her pooing on the potty, so I am still wiping for her, but I would like to have her doing it before she starts school when she turns 5.

Exactly what Zany said! I considered it part of toilet training. Something you considered for the few weeks along with accidents, learning to wash hands and undoing clothes!

If youre not still washing their hands for them, putting their shoes on and doing up thier coat they can surely wipe their bum.

It just seems some parents carry on doing it after toilet training and others consider it part of training and are shocked that school age kids cant do it. I truly am. I see it as part of parenting and school readiness alongside all the other things you do as a parent.

Like @ZanyMobster I also don't believe a NT 7 year old is not physically capable of wiping.

So, @Singingitoverandoverandover, in response to why I think it's so so wrong to do it for them. You are teaching them to come to mummy for every problem, mummy'll fix it. It's spoiling them, babying them, they're not learning resourcefulness, independence, or sorting shit (literally) out on their own.
So, if they get shit on their hands, they wash them thoroughly, and learn to not do that again. If poo somehow still ends up in their pants (? Seriously) they learn that that's not very pleasant, and the make sure they wipe properly next time.
Point being, they sort it out for themselves.

The amount of young people entering the work force now who can't work a single thing out for themselves is shocking. They make terrible employees (even though they often have good grades, having had their parent sit next to them their entire childhood). And, I think it's because of stuff like this, and other similar, it all adds up.

CaptainKirk I remember the 12 year old as being NT? I thought that was the reason we were all so taken aback?

I think HV advice says they should be able to do it themselves by 4.

Lilly you tell him to tear off some paper and wipe his bum. Tell him to keep using a new bit until the paper comes back white.

I remember the 12 year old as being NT? I thought that was the reason we were all so taken aback?

The poster didn't specifically state it in their first post, but they regularly posted on the SN boards. People jump to conclusions very quickly.

Taco with DD it's because her mind's elsewhere. Because I don't know at the time, I can only remind her when I go to do the washing and see skiddies. Short of yelling through the bathroom door, "wipe until the paper's white!"

My son could do it at 4 when he went to school.