What age did your kids wipe their own bums?

[Luckymummy22]

DS is 3 3/4 and I still wipe his bum after a poo.
Actually I still often check my school age child too.
Should I be letting him do it himself?
He comes home from nursery regularly with dirty pants / bum and I wonder if I should be letting him do it himself at home so he will get better at it.

They are ‘preparing him for school’.

I will be having another moan but to me a 3 year old still needs help.

He won’t have wet wipes at school! My eldest doesn’t and manages fine.
But at the moment he’s at nursery and I pay for it so I would like that they check his bum to ensure it’s cleAn.
Surely that’s also the way to learn?

Just turned 5 yo can but isn't very good at it and I usually have to help. He's been at school a year and coped.
Just turned 3 yo - not a chance.

7yo ds has done it himself for a couple of years now but isn't good at it and often has skids in his pants. Drives me up the wall. I'm forever asking him to wipe until he's clean.

I refused to wipe eldest's when he turned 6. I prepared him for a few months beforehand and showed him what to do.

Cue drama and tears as he doesn't like "yucky stuff" but I stuck to it.

Now at 8 there are no problems other than he takes forever (won't pop at school).

I will use this as my benchmark for younger children although they are more willing to have a go (cue dirty pants)

My five year can do it but if he can get away with it he prefers to have his arse wiped. He'll make someone a darling husband one day I'd imagine

School age children who can't wipe themselves??! That is neglectful parenting in my opinion, unless there is a medical reason.

Oh for goodness sake, so everyone on this thread is a neglectful parent? Don't be silly.

DD toilet trained at 18 months but I was still wiping her until she was 2. She started trying to do it on her own about then and picked it up pretty quickly. This thread surprised me, I guess I assumed that most kids could do it by the time they started school.

My childhood childminder’s daughter used to ask for her bum to be wiped up until 6/7 years old. I found it incredibly weird as I’d been wiping my own arse since before I could remember. I think some kids are just too lazy to do it themselves!

I am so not a neglectful parent for wiping my 8 year olds bum
Mumsnet at its absolute best

Age 3.5 max both my boys stopped asking, and all seemed well in the bath/shower.

To be honest, we’ve had several clogged toilet issues because both boys were being over zealous with wiping and using excessive tissue!

I actually cant imagine my 6 year old wanting me near her bum , shed be mortified! Never mind 9 year old.

I am actually genuinely surprised. I assumed it was all part of toilet training at 2/3 and there never was an expectation a parent would do it!

I too assumed most kids would do it by the time they started school, along with doing a coat up themselves and getting changed for PE. Therr is no way a teacher wil be wiping bums unless there is a special need and an allocated TA.

So basically, everyone is teaching their kids the exact same way. Some kids manage it earlier than others. The end.

DS 1 wiped his own bum from 3 I think . Certainly he was fine by 4. DS2 has just had his third birthday, has been potty trained since second birthday but will need help for some time I think.

My 7 year old would be mortified if I went in to wipe her bum or check. In her words she is not a baby. She has done it since 3. It is something they learn with toilet training.

I am genuinely shocked a child over 6 would want you too. I just assumed it was something taught with potty training and by 3 they should be ok but definitely by school age. I think neglectful is too strong a word but to me it's same sort of thing as those who have never taught their DCs to get dressed on their own before school.

Are they though Taco?

Surely if potty trained at 2ish and they have a poo pretty much every day and shown what to do then by 4 they should be able to wipe their own bum surely?

Blibblibs - not neglectful but seriously, 8? Junior school? There really should be no need (with the exception of genuine issues of course). What if they were at a friend's?

Zany, you mean the physical act of not being able to reach around and swipe with a paper?

Or you mean 100% of the time reliably be able to clean all poo off their bums and not get skid marks on their pants?

Ds1 is 5, 6 in October. Only recently started wiping his own bum. We had real battles to begin with. He'd freak out and worry he would get poo on his hand or not be fully clean. When at home he will still sometimes ask me to check/help. So much better compared to a year ago. This thread has been reassuring. I thought he was in a minority.

Not sure I understand what you're asking me. I was responding to your post saying they are all taught the same way. I really don't believe that is true, there is one thing checking if they ask but if they are genuinely taught alongside potty training then I can't see how 5 or 6 years later they are still unable whilst guaranteed they have mastered much more difficult skills.

I just think that the parents in these cases are just doing it for them. I worked in a nursery setting for many years and most kids did it themselves ok.

If there is poo dried in pants from 9am.. that’s ok because they will get a bath?
This is why they need to be doing it themselves from nursery age, so they can do it properly by school age. Pants can easily be changed in the day if they are at home or nursery, easiest to learn and make mistakes then.

3 is young, but my just turned 3 year old will be starting school in very little over a year so it seems wise to start teaching her now? Then in a year she’ll be completely used to doing it herself. Mine have no pattern to when they poo (apart from that it’s once a day) so I need to ensure they can do it properly by the time they start school. Sore bums from poo can’t be considered conducive to good learning or happy children!

Well after reading this I tried to get almost four year old DS to wipe himself. He just dropped the paper in the toilet and literally had no idea what I was talking about. Very successful.

My younger two can wipe themselves, but their poo comes out pretty well. My 5 year old poos - and dear god, somehow, it's just everywhere. I don't know how. He does it himself at school, and comes home with stained pants. I help at home. I'm not worried - he doesn't expect his teachers to do it, he won't need my help forever.