Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What age did your kids wipe their own bums?

207 replies

Luckymummy22 · 22/08/2018 19:28

DS is 3 3/4 and I still wipe his bum after a poo.
Actually I still often check my school age child too.
Should I be letting him do it himself?
He comes home from nursery regularly with dirty pants / bum and I wonder if I should be letting him do it himself at home so he will get better at it.

They are ‘preparing him for school’.

I will be having another moan but to me a 3 year old still needs help.

OP posts:
Onthebrink87 · 26/08/2018 14:16

Oh this drives me insane! I think it was around 4 for my 3ds however my youngest has just turned 5 and is a lazy conniving genius! He will chuck the loo roll across the bathroom and shout to me he can't reach then presents me with his little butt and is more or less like well.... being as your here! 😣

Onthebrink87 · 26/08/2018 14:37

Will say though he can do it himself when he needs to but doesn't do a brilliant job so for school I put a barrier cream on his bottom to try and reduce any soreness and so far no issues

BillywigSting · 26/08/2018 14:42

My almost 5 year old has been wiping his own bum since he was 3 and now only very occasionally asks me to check.

Skid marks are very occasional too but I basically let him start practicing doing it himself as soon as he started potty training and just checking /finishing up for him until he got the hang of it

NoFucksImAQueen · 26/08/2018 15:09

I think I stopped wiping for ds1 around 5ish and still checked up until 6ish. ds2 is 4 and I still wipe for him

ianbealesonwheels · 26/08/2018 15:10

My very intelligent very independent nearly 7 yo still wants us to wipe for her! She has suffered from constipation for years so it’s not a battle I will have with her but I do find it strange Grin much prefer that to my 2 year old bottom wipe refuser though who I have to chase around the house to clean up!

gamerwidow · 26/08/2018 15:12

I do my Dd's age 8 if she asks but she can do it herself when she is at school or im not there she just likes me to check.
She'll stop soon I think because shes started to get embarrassed about her body.

MadMum101 · 26/08/2018 15:20

Two of mine would do it on their own from just before school age.

The other two were around 7/8, not from laziness, but just because they found it disgusting and didn't want to touch it so I should instead.Hmm

DC4 never poos at school and will burst into the loo as soon as we get home and then insist I wipe him. He would sit on the loo until I gave in too! He hasn't asked for a good few months now though (7).

SuperMumTum · 26/08/2018 15:30

My DD was wiping her own bum as soon as she was toilet trained, about 3. She has the occasional skid mark but nothing bad. My 3 year old DS can do it most of the time. I'm shocked at all the 6/7/8 year olds who can't wipe their own bums.

SendYouUpInFlames · 26/08/2018 15:43

Ds1 is 3.3 and wipes his own bum. I do check after though but he is very good at it. Bless him.

MoHunter · 26/08/2018 15:57

We’ve been practicing with DS1 who will be 4 next week (starting school in 2 weeks) and for the past few weeks he’s been voluntarily wiping himself after every poo (with one of us standing next to him supervising and checking afterwards). He gets better at it every week so fingers crossed he’ll be OK at school.

I did worry about this 2 months ago at the school induction when they mentioned hey won’t (can’t) help them as he never wiped himself then - so glad we’re getting there now!

ccmms · 26/08/2018 19:41

ds1 (nt) was about 6 and we ended up buying wet wipes that could be flushed. Think they had a frog on it. It was a battle getting him to wipe his own butt. ds2 is nearly 8 and asd and we are still wiping his butt. For those asking about what they do at school, neither ds' would poo at school, they'd hold on till they get home. But im a bit like this, I only like pooing in the privacy of my own toilet :D

stuckinagut · 26/08/2018 21:13

My DS1 is 4.5 and he will ask for help, but what he means is I have to stand outside the bathroom door while he does his straining and singing then I have to watch and approve of him taking '3 squares and folding it neatly to wipe'! I do a quick check to avoid skiddies but he doesn't like me actually wiping for him anymore. Our problem is getting him to only use enough soap and water to wash his hands and not the whole bathroom!

backstreetboysareback · 26/08/2018 21:30

3

nolongersurprised · 26/08/2018 21:46

3 for the older two, 4 for the 3rd. The 4th is 4 but he knows I’m stopping when he’s 5 and at school. He wipes himself at kindy though.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 26/08/2018 21:47

My nearly 6 yo still won't wipe his bum. I don't know how to get him to do it.

Hoopaloop · 26/08/2018 22:16

DH gets me to check when he's been on the sauce.

heslimedme · 26/08/2018 22:42

Mine is 4 and has a good go at it herself before I check it's all clean.
We use wet wipes at home which makes the cleaning easier but when she's at nursery she often doesn't wipe very thoroughly and pants get dirty as she's too keen to get back to playing.

I'm trying to explain how important it is to be clean so she doesn't get a sore bottom and how important hand washing is so we don't get poorly tummies. Hopefully she'll realise the importance at some point. Plus not wanting to get poo on her new princess pants Grin

TheSheepofWallSt · 26/08/2018 22:44

@Hooplahoop

LTB

Changednamesorry · 26/08/2018 22:49

I'm another one with my mind blown that 8 year old with no additional needs need help to wipe their arse. That's absurd.

IMissGin · 26/08/2018 22:56

I honestly can’t believe this thread. Most of them that ‘cant’ actually just ‘wont’ and why would they when there’s a willing volunteer? I can’t even imagine wiping my 7yo bum, she’d be mortified at the suggestion. Lazy wiping resulting in shitty pants should get a telling off imo. (Obviously, I’m talking about NT children without illness etc)

IMissGin · 26/08/2018 22:57

Ps I hope all of you using wet wipes aren’t putting them down the loo. Even ‘flushable’ ones should never be flushed

SlothSlothSloth · 26/08/2018 23:07

changed I almost feel annoyed at the women martyring themselves in this way. It’s so patently unnecessary. All this “they haven’t mastered the technique” as if there’s really any technique to master?

Also, if their kids’ friends find out they will take the absolute piss out of them forever

Changednamesorry · 26/08/2018 23:49

SlothSlothSloth agreed. It's bizarre.

habibihabibi · 27/08/2018 04:15

Hope the Daily Mail gets hold of this.
It's blinding that children insist and mother's lower themselves to such shite wiping time wasting.
A little skid hurt nobody.

A pandemic is afoot
Talk about a nanny state.

CaptainKirkssparetupee · 27/08/2018 10:55

Hope the Daily Mail gets hold of this.

They did before, they, and other posters ripped apart a poster who still helped her 12 year old because they couldn't be bothered to advance search and see he had Special needs.

Mob mentality at it's finest.

Swipe left for the next trending thread