What age did your kids wipe their own bums?

[Luckymummy22]

DS is 3 3/4 and I still wipe his bum after a poo.
Actually I still often check my school age child too.
Should I be letting him do it himself?
He comes home from nursery regularly with dirty pants / bum and I wonder if I should be letting him do it himself at home so he will get better at it.

They are ‘preparing him for school’.

I will be having another moan but to me a 3 year old still needs help.

They were all about 4. DC3 was terrible and still shouting down for me to wipe her arse until she was almost five, I nipped it in the bud. My Dbro still had my Mum wiping his arse until he was ten, I wasn’t falling into that trap.

I find that really strange that you couldn't explain to an NT almost 4 yo 'what it's about'. It totally makes sense he couldn't do it first time if this is the 1st time you've shown him but presumably you have been wiping his bum for some time so he must have some idea what it's about. Surely you would say you use the tissue to wipe the poo from your bum, pretty straight forward instruction, as I said understandably it will take practice to get it right.

Theresno - but that sounds pretty normal for many kids, at least they are able to do it and have a decent go. Not a lot you can do about it if it's messy bless him.

I dont think I ever really started doing it for them so they didnt expect me too!! Im still amazed parents do!

He honestly just seemed so confused. I'll talk about it with him some more. And try to start wiping his bottom while he's still on the toilet to try and show him how. But honestly he just put his hand down the toilet and let go of the paper.

They always did it themselves from 2 when potty training. I can't see why parents would still do it for school age children unless there were additional needs.

I work in a school Nursery and the amount of 4 year olds who sit on the toilet and call out until the teacher or TA comes to wipe their bottoms is shocking. There's only 2 staff to 26 children and despite this parents often don't even attempt to teach them & expect us to do it for them. We start them off and then expect the children to 'have a go themselves' (excluding children with additional needs). And don't even get me started on children arriving in nappies when parents haven't even begun potty training!! (again excluding additional needs). Some children spend more time in the toilet than playing for the first few weeks/months! I really feel for the children - their parents aren't giving them a chance.

DD has just turned 7,which was my cut off. I do check if requested to do so.

Am not really bothered about when other children managed it. This is how we manage it, so sneer away if you are the kind of competitive parent who even has to win at poo-wiping. Make them a little certificate to go in their Astounding Achievements folder, right next to certificates for ‘Most Sophisticated Use Of Cutlery’ and ‘Slept Right Through From Birth’. They can take it to their first job interview.

Well one DC has had terrible constipation since forever which is why that probably went on for so long. Company and a hand hold was required just to get it out. Due to this pooing outside the house just never happened. It does now and wiping is managed fine.
Other DC is dyspraxic and found it difficult, although there was alot of laziness involved. Also as regular as clockwork so again no pooing outside of the house.
Yeah, it's not ideal to still be wiping bums at that age but it's hardly the end of the world or neglectful.
Hope that answers your question Zany

My almost 6 year old has a real aversion to wiping his bottom and tries to get away with not doing it (I think our makes him feel a bit sick sometimes), so I often end up doing it for him still.

i never had my bum wiped after I stopped wearing nappies, I was shown what to do a few times and told to wipe until the toilet paper was clean. Same with my 5 younger siblings. I didn't realise that people went to school without being able to wipe. i was a shy kid, I'd have been mortified having to ask.

Blibblibs- those scenarios are totally different to what is being discussed though and completely understandable that they may need the help. I never said it was neglectful.

Lilly - he's still little and just needs practice. My youngest found it easier to stand up to wipe when he was really little, that may work?

Mind blowing thread. At school at 3 and all the class wiped their own bums with a monitor keeping an eye out. Took time for it to be 100%, but not another 5 years.

^^ and no - not a stealth boast nor trying to compete with any other child. They were all taught at 2 how to do it at nursery and she has done it since.

I don’t know why people are struggling to understand.
We KNOW that kids learn to wipe when they are toilet trained. All kids without additional needs will be ABLE to wipe there arse.
It’s whether it’s done correctly or not. Til clean.
I can guarantee the little darlings left to wipe there own bums at 3 are the same ones clawing at there pants and spreading germs because of the mess in there pants.
I would rather double check my child was clean if he requested, than let him walk about smelling like shit if he hasnt done it right.

Their *

Singing - that is normal though surely checking if asked to etc, but NOT actually wiping it for them at 8 yo! If you RTFT then you will see that children are not all taught when starting toilet training at all. Several posters have said that their arms are too short or that they had no clue etc. I would have assumed that the way you have described it is how everyone taught their kids so this thread has been eye-opening and a bit of a shock if I'm honest.

Mine were definitely not clawing at their pants spreading germs at 3, they were potty trained by 2 so had practised for a year but if I ever noticed marks in their pants then I would chat to them and maybe check again for a couple of days to encourage them to do it properly, kids can get lazy or forget etc of course. Mine were worse with wees actually.

The reason I taught mine to do it at 3 is so that when they go to school (and there is no one to check for them) they’re not walking around with shit in their pants and spreading germs everywhere.
All those who still do it for their DC at 5/6/7/8, do they not poo at school at all?

My DS2 has ASD, ADHD and severe constipation/toilet issues. He's 9. I still wipe for him. Tbh I'm just pleased he pops in the toilet now and not his pants.

@Singingitoverandoverandover I can guarantee you my children did not walk round with dirty bums. I worked in a pre-school and all children were encouraged to wipe themselves properly. It is a skill that needs to be mastered before they start school. Apart from children with additional needs.

My older 2 have been doing it on their own since they were 4. I still wipe my almost 4 year old but am hoping that she will start doing it on her own soon...

I think children should be able to wipe themselves before they start school as reception staff will not do it for them. With a lot of time, patience and reassurance the majority of children will learn.
It’s a necessary skill and Its a disservice to continue to do it for them. It’s not an easy task but children are a lot more capable of personal care things than some people think.
I fear we are being over protective and a bit helicoptering.....what happens if they get caught short in school with no idea how to sort themselves out!! And if they get a sore bum then it’s a learning curve in my opinion.

#Tasks not things

3 but she tells me if it is a messy one so I can check. Sorry for TMI.