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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Gender neutral/disabled toilets

155 replies

chchchnamechanges · 20/08/2018 19:01

I was at a venue which had a sign up for male and female loos with another sign pointing to gender neutral and disabled loos. I went to use the disabled loo and realised that there wasn’t a gender neutral toilet at all, it was a shared gender neutral/disabled toilet.

Is this normal? I’m a bit baffled by it - there’s only one toilet and quite often it’s literally the only one the disabled person can access. Or they urgently need to get to a toilet.

I’m going to write a review of the venue’s accessibility (which promises to be great on its website then isn’t) and I’m not sure if this is totally normal and I’m just being OTT expecting disabled loos to be for disabled people?

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 20/08/2018 19:41

If people feel there is a need for "gender neutral" toilets they should clearly be in addition to disabled facilities. Perhaps the men's toilets can be split to provide these facilities, rather than expect disabled people to potentially lose access to their hard fought for facilities

And that applies to parents with buggies/prams/anything else that makes people think they’re entitled to use disabled toilets/facilities/spaces.

Helendee · 20/08/2018 19:42

I was at a National Trust property on Saturday where they have just installed a gender neutral toilet with two cubicles; to be honest no one looked comfortable using it and one guy told me that he was experiencing a shy bladder knowing that there was a woman in the adjoining stall.

auntethel · 20/08/2018 19:43

Most disabled toilets are also for baby changing. Both users can take longer at times (no blame to them, obviously. I'm disabled and need quite a long time) I think it's possible that gender neutral customers may decide to use the ladies or gents for quickness?

Jaxhog · 20/08/2018 19:46

A disabled toilet is for disabled people. It’s irrelevant that they are gender neutral.

But it's ok for women's toilet's to be used by gender neutral people?

Jaxhog · 20/08/2018 19:47

Most disabled toilets are also for baby changing.

Since when?

YeTalkShiteHen · 20/08/2018 19:47

But it's ok for women's toilet's to be used by gender neutral people?

No but they can fight for their own fucking facilities instead of commandeering the hard fought for disabled facilities!

chchchnamechanges · 20/08/2018 19:50

I think the issue to me is what’s been mentioned up thread- disabled toilets shouldn’t be a catch all facility.

I don’t think disabled toilets should be shared with baby change either fwiw - baby change facilities should absolutely be available but should be separate.

Marks and Spencer’s are a brilliant example of accessibility in their newer/refurbished stores. In my local one they have both left and right wheelchir transfer toilets in addition to ambulant disabled loos in the main toilets plus baby change. The sooner more stores/venues etc follow suit the better.

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 20/08/2018 19:52

But it's ok for women's toilet's to be used by gender neutral people?

No it’s not, however that doesn’t mean it should become the problem of disabled people, including disabled females. Accessible toilets are accessible to disabled people not all and bloody sundry.

FASH84 · 20/08/2018 19:53

Make all toilets individual cubicles with hand wash facilities and everyone can use them. Have some that are accessible, wider, with extra support bars etc. Done. The toilets at work have been this way for as long as I can remember. If you can't pee because there might be someone of a different gender in another cubicle that is a personal issue not a toilet design issue.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/08/2018 19:54

But it's ok for women's toilet's to be used by gender neutral people?

Yes. Ladies loos are gender neutral. All genders welcome in the ladies. As long as they are the female sex

Disabled loos are for disabled people. People who don't have a choice of multiple loos to use

auntethel · 20/08/2018 20:03

I honestly think transgender people will get fed up waiting outside the disabled toilets and will nip into the ladies or mens. There's no need for disabled people to worry.

CripsSandwiches · 20/08/2018 20:03

they have just installed a gender neutral toilet with two cubicles; to be honest no one looked comfortable using it and one guy told me that he was experiencing a shy bladder knowing that there was a woman in the adjoining stall.

he was too shy to pee in the cubicle next to a woman but didn't mind telling random women about his shy bladder?

Honestly once it's the norm people will get used to it and use gender neutral bathrooms without fuss!

Walkingdeadfangirl · 20/08/2018 20:03

Why would women start using the gender neutral disabled toilet? I thought women were scared stuff of gender neutral toilets.

But there are hardly many actual gender neutral people to have much effect on it, and I dont think its the end of the world if someone has to wait 5 minutes to use a toilet.

rainbowsandsmiles · 20/08/2018 20:05

Most disabled toilets are also for baby changing.

Since when?

Since always (well, mine are now teenager and nearly teenager and they definitely were when they were toddlers!)
Disabled toilets usually double up as the baby changing as well in a lot of places as they have the drop down wall changing tables.

Racecardriver · 20/08/2018 20:06

Disabled toilets aren't reserved, nothing like a car park. You don't have to display a blue badge to use them for one. You don't get find for using them if you are not disabled either.

chchchnamechanges · 20/08/2018 20:08

I dont think its the end of the world if someone has to wait 5 minutes to use a toilet.

I can think of a good few conditions for which waiting 5 minutes to use the loo is a real problem. Not to mention the waiting itself for people with mobility issues.

OP posts:
auntethel · 20/08/2018 20:09

I need 15 minutes in the disabled loo and even longer if dh isn't there to help me!

Boulshired · 20/08/2018 20:13

Luckily my DS2 who is still 12 is still in nappies/pads as the queues for disabled toilets have been increasing for the last couple of years. We have had to wait 20 minutes plus, often letting someone desperate who has no choice go before us as their immediate need is greater.

SerenDippitty · 20/08/2018 20:13

The signs on the disabled toilets at work now say Toilet for All - Gender Neutral And Accessible. I can’t see the issue with that.

Sirzy · 20/08/2018 20:13

It’s a disaster for my dad If his caterer bypasses and he has to wait...

It’s a disaster for someone with bowel problems if they have to wait...

There are plenty of reasons disabled people will need immediate access to a suitable facility. But sadly due to piss poor planning and people’s beliefs they are for everyone too often they have to face that indignity. And that’s before getting to the large amount of people who can’t even access the disabled toilet because it’s unsuitable for their needs.

auntethel · 20/08/2018 20:18

Exactly boulshired, which is why I think transgendered people will nip into the ladies instead.

AssassinatedBeauty · 20/08/2018 20:18

You can't see the issue with the disabled toilet being labelled a "toilet for all"? Really?

Nononannette · 20/08/2018 20:21

The number of gender neutral people is so low that I don't see this as anything to be concerned about
I think this is a misunderstanding, perhaps a common one.

If a toilet isn't described as gender neutral that means it can be used by anyone of any gender. It does not mean it is reserved for the use of non binary people.
Basically it's a free for all. And who suffers most there?

Nononannette · 20/08/2018 20:22

is described, sorry

SerenDippitty · 20/08/2018 20:25

No I can’t. I don’t use it if one of the two cubicles in the ladies is free, and as it happens there are no disabled staff members on my. Floor, but what is the issue you have with it? Often in small cafes there is one toilet which is disabled friendly and for male/female use. Are you saying able bodied people should not use it?

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