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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be depressed at Christmas alone

131 replies

igdeaem · 20/08/2018 11:13

Already, I know.

OP posts:
Lisabel · 20/08/2018 11:15

Aw, of course not. Do you have to spend it alone?

araiwa · 20/08/2018 11:17

Good news- you have 4 months to organize something

Pompom42 · 20/08/2018 11:18

Do you normally spend it alone? Or has anything happened?

Original poster
igdeaem · 20/08/2018 11:22

Still alone though

OP posts:
serbska · 20/08/2018 11:23

Go away somewhere hot and sociable

IceCreamFace · 20/08/2018 11:26

Could you volunteer? Plan something special even if it is alone? Stay in your PJs get a M&S feast and watch your favourite films? (I realise you've probably considered all of this). I totally get it though. Hopefully by the time it comes along though you'll feel differently.

trulyscrumptiousy · 20/08/2018 11:27

Volunteer! Please volunteer. You’ll make friends, have fun, and you get to eat Christmas dinner with more people than you ever have before!

MrsPartridgeStMarys · 20/08/2018 11:27

Spend it with friends. Do you have kids or do you mean alone as in no partner? If it’s the latter, learn to love yourself and the life you lead. Discover things that you love doing and do them xx

Domino20 · 20/08/2018 11:27

I always used to dislike our small family Christmas (me, mum&son) but a couple of years ago we all started to go to a charity Xmas lunch. We make the starters and enjoy lunch/afternoon with about 60 other people. I then drop a few people home as public transport limited on Xmas day. Any charities near you that might need help?

Clairetree1 · 20/08/2018 11:28

really! YABU

its just a day

enjoy it alone or volunteer so you are not alone.

what a fuss about nothing

NotAsGreenAsCabbageLooking · 20/08/2018 11:31

It’s just a day... you can mope about it, or actively decide to enjoy whatever you decide to do.

Ive had several xmas’s where I’ve been single and my kids are with their dad.

I either see friends (free pity dinner 🙌🏼) or occupy myself at home. I could have chosen to cry on my own about the injustice of it all, or I could use the time to indulge myself (or just do DIY/housework).

CookPassBabtridge · 20/08/2018 11:32

I volunteered one year, it was one of the best Christmasses I've had. You have plenty of time to sort something out!

PurpleDaisies · 20/08/2018 11:32

What a horrible post claire. Biscuit

How is it that you’ll be alone this year op?

Raven88 · 20/08/2018 11:33

Why not go on holiday to somewhere hot and pretend it's just another day.

SneakyGremlins · 20/08/2018 11:34

I'll be alone too! Takeaway, Netflix, Schloer and cat snuggles. Is this an option?

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 20/08/2018 11:39

YANBU OP, I would feel the same way. I think a lot of people would.

MN is bonkers sometimes, these threads are always full of posters insisting "it's just a day" and that the OP is being unreasonable to feel even the slightest bit sad. Yet whenever someone posts complaining about having to spend every single Christmas with a vile relative who treats them like dirt they're absolutely flamed because "no one should be alone on Christmas day".

JacquesHammer · 20/08/2018 11:40

Clairetree1

Is there any need to be so unkind?

OP - is there a reason you're alone this year? Have you thought about other options as to where you could spend the day?

Flowers
BunnyCarr · 20/08/2018 11:42

If you can afford to travel to a non-Christian sunny country for Xmas, I would book that now, if I were you.

My heart goes out to you.
I came close to an xmas on my own in 2011 and it was awful. I eventually managed to arrange something with a couple of somewhat flakey friends, but I did have to spend the evening alone. It wasn't great overall.

AimlesslyPurposeful · 20/08/2018 11:43

Clairetree1

Yes it’s just “a day” but it’s a special day that most people spend with family and friends.
You may be happy to spend it alone but the OP clearly doesn’t want to, hence this post.

Agree with others that volunteering could be the answer and I read an article a couple of years ago about a woman who has a group of elderly neighbours spend Christmas Day with her as they would otherwise spend it alone.
Maybe that’s something you could consider? Possibly Age Concern coukd help with that.

Do you have friends that don’t have any other family to spend Christmas with? A friend of mine and her husband spend Christmas Day here with me every year as none of us have parents or siblings. We always have a lovely day.

JassyRadlett · 20/08/2018 11:46

I’m an immigrant and my first few Xmases here were alone and then orphans Christmases.

One of my friends from those Christmases now volunteers at Crisis for a few weeks every Christmas. She loves it - lots of people around her and knowing she’s making the day brighter for those who need a lift the most.

MorrisDancingViv · 20/08/2018 11:51

Do you want people to agree and sympathise or do you want people to offer suggestions so that you're not alone?

Original poster
igdeaem · 20/08/2018 11:52

Neither really. Dunno Grin

OP posts:
Clairetree1 · 20/08/2018 11:53

how is it unkind to point out that the OP is getting into a state about a total non issue

Its only a big deal if you CHOOSE to make it one, and why would you do that? except if you are trying to emotionally manipulate someone in some way.

its an absolute nothing.

going to feel depressed about it for 4 months? really? who's got the time for that?

sorry, but its ridiculous, totally ridiculous.

the OP is asking if she is being unreasonable, the answer is, yes, very.

igdeaem · 20/08/2018 11:54

This reply has been deleted

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ShatnersWig · 20/08/2018 11:54

@Clairetree1 has form for being a bitch on people#'s threads and presumably gets off on it. Probably best not to engage as that's probably why she does it.

I get it OP. I've been single for 8 years. I see my parents for a couple of hours on Xmas Day but that's it. I was much closer to my grandparents and seeing them on Xmas Day was what made it for me and I lost them one in 2016 and the other last year. No kids, no siblings. All friends are married with kids and tend to go away to their families.

I will see my parents from 11-2 including lunch but won't see anyone the rest of the day or on Boxing Day. It's shit. And it's all very well people saying it's just one day but unlike any other day, it's built up for weeks and months in advance. And as for doing what you want, a lot of us do that every Sunday when we spend those on our own too for the same reason that all our friends are married and/or with kids and it's family time.