To be depressed at Christmas alone

[igdeaem]

Already, I know.

Is there anything that might make it suck less?

so you are intending to spend 4 months depressed about a non issue that you can enjoy if you choose to anyway.... how is that not getting into a state?

Claire given you have no idea why OP is alone this year what a nasty post. Op could have lost any number of loved ones recently, she could have had to flee across the country to avoid an abusive ex, she could be focusing on this one day as a more specific issue in her general loneliness.

Igdeaem it's a hard time of year to be alone when it's sold as SPECIAL FAMILY TIME EVERY INE IS SO HAPPY TOGETHER IT'S JUST AMAZING!!!! In reality you are not alone in being alone, how open are you to sharing your Christmas with other people in similar situations? Volunteering or singles trip?

Claire, since you don't seem to have any time for thinking, feeling, or being remotely helpful, why don't you 'choose' to shove off somewhere else, eh?

OP, Christmas is a really difficult time for some people. And yes, a lot of us start thinking about it this early, whether we want to or not.

Can you say more about why you will be alone, and what you would like to be doing instead?

I’m not in a state, you silly twat

Brilliant OP

I kind of see where you're coming from. After I separated from ex-H, in the run up to the first Christmas I wouldn't have DD I kept having moments of "fuck this is shit". It wasn't a constant feeling, but one that creeps up and hits you every so often.

Could you go away OP?

going to feel depressed about it for 4 months? really? who's got the time for that

Where did the OP say that was going to happen?

there is nothing nasty about my posts

Op asked if she was being U to spend 4 months depressed about a total non issue - yes she is.

How is that being nasty?

she needs to buck her ideas up and stop being so utterly self indulgent.

Op asked if she was being U to spend 4 months depressed about a total non issue - yes she is

She really didn't. It's a bit embarrassing for you really.

You have no idea why she is alone so you have no idea if being upset is self indulgent, grief, healing or whatever.

Yes, shatners

People are only "depressed" about christmas alone if they choose to be.

honestly, if it was a MIL being discussed on here because she was complaining that she was depressed ( in August) at the idea of spending Christmas alone ( in 4 months time) she would be being called EA, manipulative, narc, etc.

usually best to ignore @Clairetree1

OP I'm sorry you're feeling pants about this. one of the many things I hate about Xmas is that it seems to get longer every year....I remember when we had a half day at work on Xmas Eve and then there was Xmas Day and now it feels like a full fortnight of people fussing and flapping

I can imagine how that might make you feel about being alone.

If you're considering volunteering you might need to start looking into it now, volunteering at some of the large charities are surprisingly popular and spaces get filled very quickly.

Is going away an option? There's plenty of companies that organise group holidays so solo travellers can meet. They tend to involve a hobby/shared interest but some don't.

There are different types of alone, aren't there. Widowed, bereaved, empty nested, happily single, happily separated, dumped, far from home, etc etc.

What kind of alone are you? Are there no friendship or family prospects at all?

Hey Clairetree. Fuck off.

Claire only comes on here to argue black is white. Every single time. You know 100% what she is going to write before you have even read it. It just reminds me of some sad, lonely women scouring the internet to make people feel worse in a bid to make herself feel better. Rather pathetic and sad really.

Op asked if she was being U to spend 4 months depressed about a total non issue - yes she is.

No she didn’t. You’re making stuff up that wasn’t in her post.

You don’t know why she felt down at the prospect of spending Christmas alone. Christmas often throws up all sorts of feelings that are hard to deal with...first one after a break up, first one after a significant death etc. You don’t know why the op is feeling sad and dismissing it out of hand as a “non issue” is nasty.

@Clairetree1 you really do appear to lack empathy - I really do pity you.

OP as mentioned would you consider volunteering - that way you aren't alone. I have only experienced Christmas alone once and volunteered to work Christmas Day - just the company even without any real celebration made it more bearable

charities book up quickly, yes, so people can escape things.

that Claire thing is exactly why MN needs an "ignore poster" button.

Clairetree bloody hell , do you not have any empathy at all? Other posters have stated you can be a bit of a twat, never noticed you myself actually.

OP, there are a lot of posts about Christmas cropping up , has that sparked off your worries?

@Clairetree1 you really do appear to lack empathy - I really do pity you.

I have all the empathy in the world for people with real problems

I think so holy

I don’t really fancy volunteering, probably sounds selfish, but have done it in the past and found it a bit miserable

YANBU to feel the stirrings of depression at the prospect of Christmas on your own, especially if it's a day that you associate with happy family gatherings of the sort you now can't have due to whatever life has thrown your way.

YABU not to do anything about it. If you know already that it's going to be a difficult day for you, take steps now. I won't re-state all the great suggestions already made, but as you've already seen, there's no reason to be alone and depressed - you're an adult and you can choose to do things differently. OK, so it might not be your first choice of a happy family get-together, but there are plenty of other ways to spend an enjoyable and rewarding day. Hope you manage to find one, OP.

I have all the empathy in the world for people with real problems

You have absolutely NO idea what the OP’s problems are.

You know what they say about people who assume. You are a prime example.

I have all the empathy in the world for people with real problems

Just because you can’t understand that Christmas is hard to spend alone for many people doesn’t mean that it isn’t s valid reason to feel down.

Why don’t you take your helpful advice to another thread where it’s wanted?

Clairetree1 Just because you don’t celebrate Christmas it is no reason to assume others don’t! The it’s just a day” bandwagon that is going round Mumsnet is mean.