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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother encouraging her child to scream in restaurant

353 replies

user1485342611 · 19/08/2018 14:20

I was in a restaurant and a mother with a baby aged about 10-12 months and in a high chair were at a table near us. The baby was playing happily with a plastic toy when the mother suddenly dropped her spoon on the floor. He thought it was funny and gave a happy squeal. So the mum kept pretending to drop the spoon to make him laugh. The problem was that each time the laugh got more and more high pitched and in the end he was literally screaming with excitement every time she went to 'drop' the spoon.

This went on for ages and people were turning around and giving her annoyed looks and two women at the table beside them moved away.

AIBU to think she was being really inconsiderate and that this went beyond just a bit of happy playing and strayed into noisy and disruptive behaviour (from the mum, obviously, not the baby).

OP posts:
TheSheepofWallSt · 19/08/2018 17:50

@gummibear

That is desperately sad for all of you.
A chattering child early in the evening shouldnt be plugged with a dummy, or whisked outsider. It’s a baby, not a bad smell. How on earth do you expect them to learn to socialise appropriately in adult settings?

TheFairyCaravan · 19/08/2018 17:50

The sound of a child's laughter shouldn't piss you off

I think OP has said, many times, it was the screaming not the laughing.

I’d have to leave. I’ve got problems with my ears and that would have made me ill. If you want to make your kids squeal do it to your heart’s content at home, however some consideration for other people in public.

pandarific · 19/08/2018 17:51

Screaming, @bsbabas, the op has clearly said shrieking/screaming. Utterly normal to be pissed off by shrieking.

Happygummibear · 19/08/2018 18:15

@thesheeepfwallstreet

Sorry probably didn't explain properly. I agree with you. When she was talking normally it was fine but she was getting louder and louder and began shouting and it was constant. (I find this cute most the time) however There were seated people directly around us and I know how annoying it can be to try and talk over baby babble. (Plus no other children were doing this)

I want to teach her to be in public settings but to be honest rushing my food so I could keep a baby entertained in between courses who just wanted to get down and run around wasn't fun.

Will stick to cafes and child friendly eateries until she is a bit older and has learnt an inside voice.

batshitbetty · 19/08/2018 18:17

I think the big difference is that the mother was actively encouraging/prompting it, which makes her an inconsiderate cow

Original poster
user1485342611 · 19/08/2018 18:25

It wasn't laughter bsbabas, it was louder and louder shrieking.

I suppose I should have said something, but for every person who would apologise if they realised they were annoying someone, there seems to be two more who will either get defensive or look you up and down as if you had two heads and then ignore you.

OP posts:
WaterOffaDucksCrack · 19/08/2018 18:29

Meh it wouldn't bother me. Screaming or not it was a happy noise because the baby way happy and excited! There are far worse things parents do. If something did bother me I'd say at the time.

FlipnTwist · 19/08/2018 18:46

What a miserable ,jaded life you must lead.I would find a baby squealing with joy heartwarming

Original poster
user1485342611 · 19/08/2018 18:50

Was the cafe in Blackrock in Dublin Alpha Smile

OP posts:
EachPeachPearRum · 19/08/2018 18:56

I can find lots to get wound up about but not this. It's a baby. A happy baby. I just couldn't be annoyed. I've started pulling faces at my kids to try and keep them happy because I knew they were tired and laughing was far better than a full scale tantrum. Is it so hard to give each other some grace? To assume the best? I can't imagine walking around thinking everyone around me is inconsiderate or should behave in exactly the manner I deem acceptable.

WaterOffaDucksCrack · 19/08/2018 19:03

EachPeachPearRum for the love of God don't let anyone from mumsnet see you pull faces at your child or try to entertain them. You'll get hunted down for performance parenting Wink

GimbleInTheWabe · 19/08/2018 19:23

I know how loud a baby squeal can be because I have a 10mo who blasts one out every now and again and yes it hurts my ears too! I'm always conscious that he isn't overtly loud in close proximity like that but then DS is a perfect child.

YANBU the mum was performance parenting and probably thought everyone was cooing over little serafina's squeals of joy. The mum won't be squealing when she realises that serafina expects this performance every meal time and thinks throwing her spoon on the floor is funny. I probs wouldn't have said anything either, mind.

bertiesgal · 19/08/2018 19:32

Slightly different situation but I still blush.

24+ weeks pregnant with the twins. DS not yet 2 and tricky as.

On holiday in a sleepy town and pop into the supermarket. All going well until DS kicks off at the very end. Shrieking/horrific.

DH is at checkout with DD and I’m trying to get a thrashing DS out of the shop without inducing premature labour.

Everyone at the checkout throwing up their eyes/tutting/bitching to DH oblivious to the fact he’s the father.

We wanted to run but I had 2 babies in my belly so we lumbered home in mortified silence.

I can laugh about it now 😂. DS is 5 now and just lovely 😊. The DTs on the other hand....this too shall pass...

Original poster
user1485342611 · 19/08/2018 19:35

That's totally different though Bertie. You were doing your best, not encouraging your child to scream. Also, you were in a supermarket doing a necessary chore, not relaxing in a cafe regardless of who you were annoying.

OP posts:
bertiesgal · 19/08/2018 19:43

Sorry was just sharing an anecdote.

I should have been clear YANBU.

I’d be livid if someone was encouraging screeching.

It just reminded me of that particularly awful day that’s all.

Original poster
user1485342611 · 19/08/2018 19:44

It does sound awful. I don't know who I feel sorrier for - you having to cope with screaming toddler, or your husband having to cope with nasty comments Smile

OP posts:
MissusGeneHunt · 19/08/2018 19:49

@NotAgainYoda thank you!! Sorry for late acknowledgement!! Sounds vile....!!

MadMum101 · 19/08/2018 20:03

A baby laughing wouldn't have irritated me no matter how loud. Babies screaming in distress irritate me as I want to say to the parent - calm your poor baby ffs!

Saying that I was irritated today by two toddlers/pre schoolers running at speed down the aisles in Tesco screaming with laughter. I actually shouted FFS! as one of them narrowly avoided running full pelt into my trolley as I came round the corner and I had to launch it out of the way. Heard the mother two aisles away, asking whoever was with her, where they were then her screaming around the store and at them not to run off when they found them.

Would much prefer OP's scenario.

hottotrotsky · 19/08/2018 21:00

A baby taking pleasure in his mum's fun. How fucking despicable.

GimbleInTheWabe · 19/08/2018 21:01

I think all the PPs who are saying they don't mind the sound of a baby laughing/squealing/screaming if they are happy have never heard one go off full blast, on repeat and in close proximity.

You know when something is so loud and squeaky your ears want to fold inside themselves and not come out until 2025? Nails on a chalkboard? Those fold down trays on the backs on train seats? Sash windows that haven't been oiled since 1896. Yeah that, encouraged.

GimbleInTheWabe · 19/08/2018 21:01

I think all the PPs who are saying they don't mind the sound of a baby laughing/squealing/screaming if they are happy have never heard one go off full blast, on repeat and in close proximity.

You know when something is so loud and squeaky your ears want to fold inside themselves and not come out until 2025? Nails on a chalkboard? Those fold down trays on the backs on train seats? Sash windows that haven't been oiled since 1896. Yeah that, encouraged.

Lydiaatthebarre · 19/08/2018 23:05

It's incredibly annoying and I can only assume the posters trying to insist it's just a baby laughing and being happy are the kind of parents who have done this kind if thing in the past. Small wonder the op didn't approach the mother in question. She'd probably be spitefully accused of 'living a miserable jaded life' or some other childish nonsense.

BuntyII · 19/08/2018 23:27

It's a restaurant not a library Hmm

AlexaAmbidextra · 19/08/2018 23:49

I had this in a restaurant a few months ago. Family party of about twelve people, all ages, next to us. Delightful baby of around six months, obviously discovered her voice. She was squealing, as babies do. Trouble was the entire party was squealing back at her. This went on, to and fro for about ten minutes and got louder and louder. I think one of them caught my filthy look at one point and thankfully, their food came and put an end to their game. Just as well as I really wanted to shout ‘just shut the fuck up’.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 19/08/2018 23:56

Gobsmacked that some nutters think it depends on the class of restaurant whether this is acceptable or not.

Pizza Express? Suck it up, losers.
The Ivy? Have some manners, ffs, don’t you know how to behave in public?
Nuts...