Mother encouraging her child to scream in restaurant

[user1485342611]

I was in a restaurant and a mother with a baby aged about 10-12 months and in a high chair were at a table near us. The baby was playing happily with a plastic toy when the mother suddenly dropped her spoon on the floor. He thought it was funny and gave a happy squeal. So the mum kept pretending to drop the spoon to make him laugh. The problem was that each time the laugh got more and more high pitched and in the end he was literally screaming with excitement every time she went to 'drop' the spoon.

This went on for ages and people were turning around and giving her annoyed looks and two women at the table beside them moved away.

AIBU to think she was being really inconsiderate and that this went beyond just a bit of happy playing and strayed into noisy and disruptive behaviour (from the mum, obviously, not the baby).

Ignore her. She'll be accusing you of hating laughing next and telling you to get a grip

Are you being unreasonable to think another playing loudly with her child in public was inconsiderate? I find it strange you’re giving it any further thought, in all honesty.

Sorry I'm with the minority. Don't think she can be judged for enjoying making her child happy, she was probably oblivious to everyone else, but in a nice way because she was enjoying the moment.

Gosh Glint do you come on every thread that's not about some uber serious matter and question and query it?

No obviously not

Missus

Well, the general definition is when someone appears to be loudly and ostentatiously playing or talking to their child in such a way as to suggest they are seeking approval from others about

a) what a good parent they are
b) how clever their child is

There are problems with this, obviously. You can't infer the intent of the Performance Parent just by their behaviour. And Middle Class or Posh parents get accused of it more often than not.

So bunfights always happen when the subject comes up on here, with people saying things like : "Well at least I talk to my child - would you rather I ignored them"

Also, some parents need to constantly keep their child occupied because the child is prone to meltdowns or has SN, so it's pretty insulting to be accused of PP

My own view: PP exists; I've seen it, but sometimes what seems to be PP might be something else

in a nice way

In a way that was totally without any social awareness or manners by the sound of it.

She was being a dick . There are lots of them about unfortunately. Next time say something, she was betting on everyone being too polite to pull her up on it . You’ll never see her again . Do it !

Crabby

Making your child happy is lovely. Making your child happy repeatedly and loudly so as to encroach others in public places is bit selfish.

It feels great btw 😜

She was inconsiderate. There would have been a distressing meltdown at my table if we had been there.

This just really would not bother me at all.

Depends what type of restaurant. V expensive, Michelin star restaurant - YANBU, chain restaurant/ family pub/ cafe, YABU.
Don't think it would have bothered me too much.

IME, there's a risk that people who are a bit oblivious and delighted by their child in public tend to carry on along those lines and then the risk is the child becomes oblivious to other people and delighted with itself. Then school has to deal with it

Why are people trying to enjoy coffee and cake in a local restaurant less worthy of a bit of basic and reasonable consideration than people in a Michelin starred restaurant?

For my son with SEN the noise would be potentially very painful and very distressing so YADNBU.

We should obviously all be considerate of others in any setting, but the expectations of people entering an establishment during the day, which was clearly aimed at a family market, would surely be different to those going out for an evening meal in a space not set up for children.
In the case of the former, I would expect to accommodate the noise and activity of children and parents rather than expecting them to tiptoe around me.
I don't know the details of the place where OP was, but my answer to her AIBU would depend very much on the type of venue.

It was a cafe that welcomes everyone Theshitty. But that's no excuse for deliberately encouraging your child to scream at the top of their lungs for several minutes, to the huge discomfort of everyone else.

YEah that would be annoying, most people are mindful of others but then get some inconsiderate idiots who feel entitled that their kid make so much noise.
I don’t mind crying babies as it can’t be helped but screeching I do mind the noise in grating to the more patient of people..and I’m very patient..

You’ll get clowns everywhere unfortunately say ignore it but obv can’t should be asked to move elsewhere

This is what is wrong with the world now....if it bothers you that much you should have said something at the time. I'm also pretty sure this would have annoyed me, but now I am very conscious I've also done things in restaurants to amuse my child

Toomany

I agree. I would have said something

GetAwayFromHer

That is so true. I work with children and it's easy to spot the ones like that. The parents make them into these high maintenance personalities who need to be entertained at all times. Then they send them off to creche and school oblivious to how difficult they are to manage in a group setting. It's not possible for teachers to give these children the level of attention they seek.

I really struggle to tolerate shrieking and screaming. And I'm pretty patient. It's something that can be worked on but it's antisocial of parents to encourage it.

The type of restaurant/ cafe has no bearing upon the level of distress that would cause to some people. My child would be howling, banging their head on the table and biting themselves if they were subjected to that carry on.

Screaming would have bugged me.