What's happened to having a bit of pride in yourself?

[daffodil10]

I am genuinely asking this question out of curiosity not being inflammatory but I will no doubt be accused of this in typical mnet style! Anyway here goes-

I don't understand why some women are so proud of the fact that the first thing they do when they get home is to take their bra off and put pjs on.

A) I don't have time as when I get in from work there's stuff to do.
B) why would you want to sit there with everything dangling about

I think it is much better for your state of mind to have a bit of pride In Yourself, to wear a bit of makeup, clean clothes, brush your hair etc. On another note if your bra is so uncomfortable you're wearing the wrong bra!

Yes, but the pp I was replying to said that if you found it more comfortable without a bra then you were wearing the wrong bra

There of course are people who find it uncomfortable without a bra

But it doesn't logically follow that those of us who find it much more comfortable without must therefore be wearing the wrong bra

I'm not. It's just more comfortable NOT wearing something with a band and strap and (if I'm wearing an underwired bra) underwiring for me.

I only wear a bra for the outline under clothes, there's no need to wear one at home where I'm not with work colleagues!

Sorry omitted the post I was replying to

It’s a matter of personal taste. Plenty of us find the feeling of an unfettered knocker to be uncomfortable in itself.

Ok I’m just going to go along with this because I have time today.

Yes OP- I love nothing more than arriving home, fettering the old knockers down in a sturdy bra and turbo-dusting all my royal doulton.

I find it most preferable to then don all my pearls and hover by the net curtains so that I can judge the shit out of all my mumsnet neighbours whom I can spy on, slobbing about in their paper distribution expo conference 2006 t shirts while eating Doritos and picking their feet.

Lots of love,
MedicinalGin, 1953 vintage.

Even though I feel comfortable in a non wired soft bra, I do sometimes take it off when I get home, if it is hot, as the band will irritate my skin (have eczema) and if i have a flare up, rubs against it. It means I can cream my whole body without making my bra all creamy. Very judgy op.

Is it still a problem even if your boobs don't hang out of the bottom of the pyjama top?

I know a lady who has larger norks, she also has a multitude of health problems, which means when she gets home she takes her bra off and gets into her pj to be truly comfy so she can relax, due to her fibro and COPD.

Oh dear OP I will horrify you even more.
In summer, I don’t get more than 2m in the door when the clothes come off. Bra and undies are retained and that’s it until bedtime. I don’t entertain guests after work or without prior notice so no issues there. If anyone knocks on the door I don’t answer it - neighbours have my number, they can call or text if necessary. Essentially it saves on air con/electric bill and even if it has to go on you don’t need to run it as high. For context our usual summer is around 35degC with 40degC not uncommon for the better part of a month.

In spring/autumn/winter I get in the door, strip down to nodes and get straight into pj’s suitable for the weather. Happy to answer the door in pj’s. Don’t care whatsoever if anyone thinks I am doing it wrong.

Funnily DH remains clothed until bedtime, one child takes after me coming in and immediately stripping and the other takes after DH and remains clothed and it’s not the matching gender either. So an individual thing and whatever floats your boat.

I get changed into pjs when I come home from work. My uniform is uncomfortable and usually filthy by the end of the day so I wouldn’t want to stay in it. I don’t wear makeup for work so wouldn’t come home and put it on at 5pm. I take my bra off because I don’t sleep in it so if I’m putting nightclothes on, there’s not much point leaving it on. I’m very proud of myself, thank you very much OP

Noone associated with my upbringing ever regarded makeup as a sign that you were taking pride in yourself, quite to the contrary. The only time I've worn it was for my wedding 25 years ago.

I have never tried to stop my own daughter from wearing it, because I'm a firm believer in each to their own, but the whole thing of feeling better or more respectable because you're wearing it is just totally alien to my cultural horizon.

As for "nothing more exciting will happen today", I find my own work so fascinating that I am often up past midnight because I can't bear to stop, but as far as I can see the quality of my output is completely unrelated to the elegance of my outfit.

Before I did this job, I worked on building sites, wearing steel-capped boots and a donkey jacket, with my face smeared with mud as often as not. Of course I could have worn mascara underneath the mud, but it wouldn't have made a great deal of difference to my efficiency as a worker. Knowing how to swing a mattock was what made the difference.

Now on holiday and am spending most days up on a scaffold painting my parents' house, wearing an old pair of trousers borrowed from my DM and a blouse which I discarded as unfit for further wear 30 years ago. I feel fine.

*I don't understand why some women are so proud of the fact that the first thing they do when they get home is to take their bra off and put pjs on.

A) I don't have time as when I get in from work there's stuff to do.
B) why would you want to sit there with everything dangling about

I think it is much better for your state of mind to have a bit of pride In Yourself, to wear a bit of makeup, clean clothes, brush your hair etc. On another note if your bra is so uncomfortable you're wearing the wrong bra!*

You don't understand someone wanting to be comfortable in their own home? I hate bras. I have been measured properly and paid a lot of money for them. I still find them restrictive. I am not wearing the wrong bra. My boobs are not eight feet long, they do not "dangle about" when I take my bra off.

You don't have time to take your bra off as you have stuff to do. I can understand this, as the bra-removal is a tricky and lengthy process and the rest of us no-pride sloths clearly spend hours doing it.

Yes, yes, you ARE right that most of us feel good when we put on some makeup, brush our hair, and get dressed up. Which is why it feels equally as good to get into comfy clothes, remove our bras and take our make-up off after a long day.

I feel sorry for you, I almost want to have a PJ evening with you just so you can see how good it feels to let go and not worry about your face looking perfect and your tits dangling.

Add to that op, how do you know what an individual is going through, putting on make up, bra, looking presentable, may be the last thing on their mind, if they have been up with a crying baby all night, or in great pain or discomfort from illness, or not in a good state of mind, mentally. Your home is meant to be a place of comfort, solace, where one cannot be judged, and feel free to be themselves. Your home does not sound like that op.

Also some people have stressful jobs, look forward to going home, and just unwinding, part of that is putting on comfy non restricted clothing, and not having a load of chemicals on your face.

Even if you're really into make-up etc. surely it's better for your skin to breathe at home.
Same with clothes, why ruin your nice work clothes if you need to do something messy at home.

Also, my pride in myself isn't related to my physical appearance.
I'm sitting here doing (well taking a break from) a uni assignment in my pjs and fluffy fleece. I am much prouder of myself for juggling studying and being a mum than I was for looking nice (dress, heels, make up etc.) at a wedding yesterday.

Its not the makeup and dress I'll remember about the bride but the huge grin on her face when she was dancing with her new dh and their dc.

Wearing make up unnecessarily will damage your skin though so it is actually the opposite of taking care of yourself to not take it off as soon as you get home if you feel like you have to wear it. Taking off you bra is neither here nor there. Likewise most people don't want to be lounging about at home in a designer suit so putting on lounge wear seems reasonable. If anything it sounds like you are being lazy by not changing your clothes, cleaning your face etc and trying to pass it off as pride in your appearance

oh course if you are expecting guests, you put different clothing on, I would not entertain guests in my bra and knickers, and would tell dh who normally slobs at home in his boxers, to put some clothes on.

Yours may dangle OP mine are quite pert. Maybe you need to work on some chest exercises. Chest presses do help to lift your boobs - unless they really do just dangle

I think jeans are quite slovenly and don’t have enough of anything to dangle.
I look ‘comfy’ at work so like to dress up at home.

Jesus OP! You'd hate to see me on a Saturday if I'm not going anywhere. Don't shower, I'm still wearing Friday's make up, I don't brush my teeth and I wear my jammies all day. Who gives a shit? Certainly not me!

Bras aren't good for your boobs they stop circulation (more underworked ones) so it's off as soon as I'm home, gives them a breather, and guess what, I can still do house work and everything else I need to do in the evening without a bra

Underwired not underworked, my bras are definitely not underworked

”Gonna blow your mind here:

Some people live differently to you and make different decisions about how they live their lives.

I know! A wild concept. But it’s true!”

I pointed this out to @daffodil10 too, @Sparklesocks - and whilst she accepted that other people have different opinions to her, it has become blindingly clear, as this thread has gone on, that she thinks her opinion is the only RIGHT one. We are graciously allowed to have a different opinion, but we are, in her opinion, wrong.

I don’t have much pride in myself at all - frankly a life long history of depression and low self esteem makes me judge myself far more harshly than the OP is judging those who do not live up to her standards. But I know how much I struggle with even the basics - and so, for me, getting up, having a shower or washing my hair, and getting dressed is an achievement. I don’t wear make up - I am sure that @daffodil10 thinks that putting on make up is a really small task - but for me, for someone who struggles even to get up and perform even basic care for myself, it is beyond my reach.

why would you want to sit there with everything dangling about

What a gross way to think about women's bodies.

Also, to add to STGD's post, for some women it works the opposite way: obsessive attention to dress and makeup is a sign of poor self-esteem and poor MH

I can always tell when my dd is going through a bad patch simply by the amount of time she needs to spend in front of the mirror before she can function at all. It's not a good sign.

SDTG, I've been reading your posts for years & you're one of those posters who always makes me nod, smile & think "Yeah, she talks sense."