Scalded for drinking alcohol by a stranger

[Boilin]

Went to Wetherspoons (I'm still there) with DP. I'm 28 weeks pregnant at the moment and had half a pint of cider with my meal. The woman who served it to me had no issue with it whatsoever, but the man stood next to me (not sure if he was slightly drunk) felt it appropriate to tell my DP that 'that won't be good for her or the baby' (hello I'm stood right here ). DP told him, 'it's fine' and told me to ignore him and the bloke then continued to discuss under his breath with his partner/friend my choice to have a drink.

AIBU to think he had no right? To think that it's fine that I had half a pint once in a blue moon? To feel pissed off with the constant judgement of my ever move since I've been pregnant?

Ugh. I've just had enough of today! Sorry for moaning...

I would judge you and not say anything. TBF though I (silently) judge a lot of people’s drinking behaviour whether they are pregnant or not.

Gosh, so many knowledgable people on here - presumably the same ones that know that Pethidine, a synthetic opioid, is the most widely used pain-relief in labour and delivery.
Stay away from that terrible 1/2 pint of cider, OP, so you've got a clear head for when you start main-lining smack in the birthing room.

@SquatBetty "production of MDMA — or more commonly known as 'ecstasy.'"The factories had been set up to distill 'sassafras oil'; produced by boiling the roots and the trunk of the exceptionally rare Mreah Prew Phnom trees and exported to neighbouring countries," it still comes from a tree/plant, you need that to make the drug, without it, you cant.

@SavanahXx , you're so young and you're so sensible and you're also very inexperienced in life and frankly you're also fucking irritating!

Oh and wrong!

So many women have been drinking alcohol before they realise they are pregnant. The first trimester is the most dangerous in terms of alcohol for babies. And yet problems are rare.

But very good at copying and pasting I see.

Love that 1/2 a cider is apparently in the same class as heroin! Some people are bat fucking crazy.

Hope you enjoyed your 1/2 cider and are getting a good chuckle at the pearl clutching outrage on here.

@Flatpackjackie @Savannahxx

Please please show me the evidence for half a pint of cider showing any of the detrimental effects you’re scaremongering about?!?
I guanantee that you can’t - because your judgement and unkindness is not evidence-based. It’s self-sanctimonious judgement. Which is fine. If that’s the kind of person you are choosing to be?

Otherwise you could employ a modicum of critical thinking, kindness and common decency and stop yourself looking like eejits by equating FASD and Liver failure with half a cider.

Ignore them SavanahXx. They're feeling ashamed and lashing out at the messenger. Pathetic.

indeed I am good at copying and pasting when its needed to prove a point @Boilin

With the blessing my GP, I reduced the quantity and upped the quality while I was pregnant (I wasn't even a big drinker to start with : less than 14 units a week), so in the 3rd trimester had maybe 2 units a week (carefully chosen ).

My best friend and her dh are GPs: she's have 4 children and in her view, the more important thing is a happy mother, which is why she continued to have the very odd drink.

My dad was also a doctor, awaiting his very long delayed first grandchild and was happy with my decision.

I did stop all alcohol for weeks 8 to 12 as iirc, that was a particularly important developmental period.

Life is all about risk analysis: iirc, the recent change in advice to "no alcohol" was acknowledged by the Royal College of Obstetricians to be based on zero specific evidence that small amounts were dangerous and were actually because they didn't trust women to know what "a small amount" was , so it was easier just to say "None"

Extrapolating the logic of zero alcohol, then no woman of child bearing aid should ever drink alcohol unless they've had a hysterectomy/had their tubes tied, as they might be pregnant without realising it.

The child I was pregnant with is off to Uni next month, so has done OK

Boilin I think they're just doing it to get a rise out of you. Fucking funny for the rest of us though!

On a side note, anyone else think Flatpack might be Savanah's mum? "Of course you're right and these women at least a decade your senior are wrong. They're being so mean to you poppet." Yes, I'm mildly mocking her age. She's barely finished school. I'm 10 years older than her and I'm willing to bet a fair amount of women on this thread are older than that. I think we might be a touch better informed, don't you?

Some people hear or read things such as news paper articles and take them as gospel. No matter what argument you put across to them they will never disagree with that belief. I tend to find its people that are very judgmental as well.

I think a PP mentioned a lack of critical thinking and I agree.

OP you are always going to get the judgmental people and being pregnant and alcohol is going to amplify their judgement. I would develop a thicker skin and ignore.

@Flatpackjackie no one her is ashamed, you're a completely judgemental and frankly ignorant person to say that!

I'd be ashamed for scaremongering and being thick, like you are!

Ignore them SavanahXx. They're feeling ashamed and lashing out at the messenger. Pathetic.

Yeah do that.
I hear ignorance is much easier than engaging your brain

I haven't read all the threads, but my immediate thought was "Get used to it", because it just continues throughout the pregnancy and when you've had the children as well.

For some reason, people think it's their right to make judgemental comments on your behaviour when you have a child - especially the old women (and mother-in-laws!). Like the old women who told me I was "a bad mother" for asking my child if she wanted a book I picked up in the charity shop, and then secretly putting it back when I noticed the content was inappropriate (hoping my DD would forget!).

It's better to take no notice and view these comments as evidence of other people's issues, otherwise you will frequently be getting stressed about this kind of stuff.

@Flatpackjackie you're a mind reader too!

@SavanahXx you've only proved one thing...

I am quite happy in my decision to have half a pint of cider! I will absolutely rethink when people provide me research not nonsense to otherwise disprove my belief that half a pint is okay!

@Boilin I bet @SavanahXx and @Flatpackjackie are doing your blood pressure the world of good....NOT!

I'd have a glass of wine to chill if I was you! 🍷 😂

So many people being shown up here. Disgusting creatures. Selfish, self-centred and probably sozzled.

Savanah Flatpack - you are of course completely right to decide for yourself if you wish to drink, or not, in any pregnancy. But as a pp said you are conflating guidelines and research - they are not the same and throwing around references to newspaper/website analysis of research (which is not always 100% accurate of the detailed medical nuances) doesn't actually support your viewpoint - and it is only that a viewpoint and a decision that any pregnant woman is able to come to.

Public ownership of a pregnant woman's body is a slippery slope and not one that I'd be keen to go down.

Ifailed - the pearl clutchers on here would be horrified that I had heroin while I was having ds.

The fact that it was called diamorphine and was administered by the doctors as the painkiller of choice in Scotland (rather than pethidine) during childbirth is incidental

@Flatpackjackie your relationship with alcohol is bizarre, you need help!

It's totally unhealthy and you're pushing your extreme views on others!

People drink but not everyone has an issue but you do!

I'm sure you'll ignore this post.

I didn't drink at all during my pregnancies or whilst breastfeeding. To do so would have felt completely wrong and I simply didn't need alcohol that much as to take those risks (for the record I also adhered to all other advise re food).
Women can, of course, do as they wish whilst pregnant. It's entirely up to the individual person. It's just sad that some people choose to drink.