Scalded for drinking alcohol by a stranger

[Boilin]

Went to Wetherspoons (I'm still there) with DP. I'm 28 weeks pregnant at the moment and had half a pint of cider with my meal. The woman who served it to me had no issue with it whatsoever, but the man stood next to me (not sure if he was slightly drunk) felt it appropriate to tell my DP that 'that won't be good for her or the baby' (hello I'm stood right here ). DP told him, 'it's fine' and told me to ignore him and the bloke then continued to discuss under his breath with his partner/friend my choice to have a drink.

AIBU to think he had no right? To think that it's fine that I had half a pint once in a blue moon? To feel pissed off with the constant judgement of my ever move since I've been pregnant?

Ugh. I've just had enough of today! Sorry for moaning...

@mathanxiety it’s about 8% alcohol isn’t it? So a 5 ml spoonful would be similar to giving your baby a 5 ml spoon of wine. If doctors the world over are happy to prescribe this for infants, I would conclude that they are not worried about that level of alcohol consumption. I suppose it depends if you trust your doctor. Of course I wouldn’t give my baby a teaspoon of actual wine or cider as it’s not a medicine, it would serve no purpose for a baby. As a pregnant woman, having a small alcoholic drink serves a purpose because I like the taste and I’m confident it’s not going to harm my baby.

How about this hypothetical situation - you decide one evening that having a glass of cider over the course of about an hour would do you baby no harm? You like cider, you feel your baby might like it too, and it's only a glass after all.

Would you pour some into a bottle and encourage the baby to drink it?

Why would that be pointless after the baby is born but meaningful (or reasonable, or whatever the opposite of pointless may be) before the baby is born?

So pregnant women should only consume things that they could also give to a baby? So nothing then?

Does it need explaining to you that a pregnant woman eating or drinking something is not literally giving it directly to the foetus unfiltered in the same way that feeding it to a newborn baby would?

Omg the pleading voice of the foetus.

It’s frankly incredible that adult women cannot seem to be rational and measured about this.

I see really why some people actually do need fbf nanny state to infantilise them as they are so bloody thick.

Honestly the level of stupid gets worse.

I love a curry! I are many while pregnant but I didn’t feed it to my newborn.

Honestly this thread is an eye opener. People not really understanding or interpreting data.

Should pregnant women exist on just water, vitamins and organic only fruits and vegetables (that have been thoroughly washed!) with no caffeine, sugar or fats?

I must have missed the memo. Im currently pregnant and have just totally demolished a huge bowl of cheesy chips alongside a full fat coke!
I'll be finishing off a tub of Ben and Jerry's in bed later too because I've had a crap week and I'm treating myself.

Someone call SS!!

I didn't think this thread could get Anny funnier and then it did haha! Ladies clutch your pearls;

Today I had a bacon and brie sandwich, then....Mr whippy ice cream 😱

Then I cleaned out the cat litter and had a lovely warm bath afterwards.

I'm now off to dinner where I will probably have pate for starters.

All of which is fine in France 😂 viva la France that's what I say haha

Does anyone wonder why it's illegal to give alcohol to a baby but not to consume while pregnant? Could it be that the two things are not the same?

@weightorWhite please tell me where I've said "aww baby" or "aww pink" haha, I'm struggling to understand what your going on about???

@HarshingMyMellow
Having a bath? Better make sure it's not too hot! You could boil the baby. -sorry to disappoint but I have warm baths, on the verge of being cold, because I don't want her to overheat
Going out for dinner? How do you know the food hygiene is up to scratch? How do you know the food has been stored at a maximum of 5c? -I don't go out for food while I've been pregnant because I don't trust that its up to the standard. plus id rather put my money towards my baby.
You could get Listeriosis and that can cause an untold amount of problems for baby - including still birth.
Going to bed? Make sure you stay on your left side all night! Can be bad for the baby otherwise. - both me and my partner make sure I'm on my left all night, he even wakes up regularly through the night to double check
Having sex? You do know having an orgasm can cause pre-term labour? -we haven't had sex since finding out I'm pregnant

sorry that I'm overly cautious because of previous miscarriages. so is he

WhatWouldCoachBombayDo OMG ive had a mr whippy today too! And salad from a salad bar (as ALL the recent listeria outbreaks have been in salad items so I really feel they should update guidelines in line with this, I mean fruit and veg really isn’t that safe for preggos) But I’m now having an alcohol free beer...wouldn’t want to take too many risks in one day!

@mathanxiety I haven't given my baby a glass of cider?

Lol ok you're clearly taking the piss now. Do you also not go outside, go in a car, use stairs, or even get out of bed because those are also risks? Maybe you should see if you can check youself into a hospital for the duration of your pregnancy, to stop you inadvertantly doing something you shouldn't?

You don’t sound overly cautious Savanah you just sound like you have no ability to assess and calculate risk.

I hope you're not travelling by car anywhere Savanah. That's much riskier than most of the stuff mentioned.

both me and my partner make sure I'm on my left all night, he even wakes up regularly through the night to double check

This is completely neurotic. Is that a joke?

Should pregnant women exist on just water, vitamins and organic only fruits and vegetables (that have been thoroughly washed!) with no caffeine, sugar or fats?

Don’t be so ridiculous. If you’re only consuming stuff the baby can too, you’d better either start lactating or get that SMA down your neck. ;)

But I’m now having an alcohol free beer...wouldn’t want to take too many risks in one day!

Tut Tut. "alcohol free" beer actually contains traces of alcohol, sometimes as much as half a percent! Think of your baby pleading with you to stop you selfish incubator woman (sarcasm)

Sorry about your losses savanah . No wonder you’re cautious. I was wary about everything when pregnant with dc1! I actually became weirdly knowledgeable about Listeriosis .

@SavanahXx totally understandable to be extremely cautious after pregnancy loss. I was the same in my 1st pregnancy, worried about baths, washed raw carrots in boiling water in case of listeria, didn’t let a drop of alcohol touch my lips. Actually I was pretty crazy with anxiety and my doctor was worried about it. What’s not understandable is thinking anyone who doesn’t do all those things is putting their baby at risk. 2nd time around I’m much more relaxed, have calculated risks on actual evidence and I have had a much healthier happier pregnancy. One way isn’t better than the other, but for me the more relaxed approach has been much better for my mental health.

@Lazypoolday I wish I was taking the piss. also no, I don't drive, so I don't get into a car? plus, I prefer to walk anyway, its the healthier option, and I don't exactly spend 10 hours of a day outside, only go out when I need too. not even trying to be awkward, you don't know me, so don't presume you know what I do and how I do it.

Savannah you do know that putting all this pressure on yourself to be perfect and follow every rule may well cause you some MH issues at a later date? You can force yourself to be perfect because if you slip up once (and you will), any issue you ever have with your DC, you will blame yourself for.
I swore I would have a drug free birth as I had heard so much stuff about how the pain relief could be dangerous. However when it came down to it, I went into spontaneous labour at 34 weeks, bleeding profusely, labour lasted days and I wasn't able to walk around due to being strapped to machines, I ended up begging for pain relief. I'm in the North East and I got diamorphine. It was the only time I got to sleep in days. My son ended up in SCBU for a week and I blamed myself entirely for giving in to the pain relief when in actual fact, he was in there because he was premature, jaundice and slight breathing issues (none of this was related to the diamorphine).
I also swore blind that no child of mine would have a dummy (I had read about speech delay, wonky teeth, dependency etc), then after weeks with a poorly baby who had severe reflux, I caved and gave him one to try and just get a small moment of quiet. His teeth are actually growing through quite far apart and again, I straight away blamed myself even though it was in his mouth for less than a minute.
The mind does funny things.

I personally wouldn't drink while pregnant. Not that I think one or two would cause any harm, I'd just rather not.

However, it boils my piss that he turned and said this to your DH. Arrogant, sexist douche bag!

Och don’t take the piss out of her. Who hasn’t been a bit neurotic / anxious in pregnancy? I can’t say I’d have held my shit together at all being pregnant at 19. And after suffering more than one MC? Who wouldn’t be a bit on edge?

If your unborn child had a voice in this it would say, please do not drink alcohol mum, it may harm me.

Mine would probably reply, "Jesus fucking Christ, quit with the amateur dramatics and and the psuedo-science, which taken to its ultimate conclusion would lead to starvation because NOTHING HAS NO RISK."

Is this thread going to classics yet?

Savanah if all of this is true then I feel sorry for you. In all seriousnesss, this is not a normal or healthy way to live your life, pregnant or not, previous losses or not. I would suggest maybe having a word with your midwife.

@SavanahXx
do you know to the exact degree what your bath temperature is in correlation to the temperature that it becomes dangerous? People feel heat subjectively - your 'verge of cold' is another persons 'boiling'.

Do you know the temperature of your fridge? Is it at a maximum of 5c?

While your partner is sleeping is there any chance you could slip onto your back? I mean, you'd both be asleep. How would you know?

You seem extremely anxious about your pregnancy, anxiety isn't good in pregnancy either.

No car trips I hope, you might crash? No walking in case you trip? Shouldn't really be bathing in case you become dizzy, slip and fall. No showering for the same reason.
I'm surprised you've not wrapped yourself, your home and everything you own in Nerf.

But do continue with your superiority complex. You're a teenager, you know everything!