Scalded for drinking alcohol by a stranger

[Boilin]

Went to Wetherspoons (I'm still there) with DP. I'm 28 weeks pregnant at the moment and had half a pint of cider with my meal. The woman who served it to me had no issue with it whatsoever, but the man stood next to me (not sure if he was slightly drunk) felt it appropriate to tell my DP that 'that won't be good for her or the baby' (hello I'm stood right here ). DP told him, 'it's fine' and told me to ignore him and the bloke then continued to discuss under his breath with his partner/friend my choice to have a drink.

AIBU to think he had no right? To think that it's fine that I had half a pint once in a blue moon? To feel pissed off with the constant judgement of my ever move since I've been pregnant?

Ugh. I've just had enough of today! Sorry for moaning...

@nannyCrumb she has said what is reasonable - half a pint of cider. And she is absolutely correct (ooh a conjunctive at the start of a sentence, somebody should get me for that!). It is even stated on the NHS guidance that 1-2 units 1-2 times a week has no evidence of causing harm. She has never mentioned smoking or diet choices, so why ask her opinion about that?

Where on the continuum does risk become acceptable?
An excellent question, and surely one for mums/parents to decide for themselves when presented with proper evidence, much like all other 'risky' decisions they will make - co-sleeping, bottle v breast, dummies, sleep training, weaning, diet... For some random guy in a Wetherspoons to try and make that decision for them is hilarious.

How much can I smoke? How much blue cheese or cured meat? Where on the continuum does risk become acceptable?

The risk with blue cheese and cured meats is listeriosis. That risk is also there with packaged sandwiches, pre-prepared fruit, and bagged salads, and sometimes with other fresh vegetables. Most people draw the line before ‘blue cheese’ but after ‘prepackaged salads’, because the risk there is low enough that they feel comfortable with it.

There is no way to have a zero-risk pregnancy. We all make risk calculations.

@nannyCrumb HALF A PINT OF CIDER!!!

@Boilin I can't thank you enough for starting this thread, I was worried I would be bored when I started my mat leave 😂

@HollyGoLoudly1 I've lost all hope

No-risk pregnancy could be very risky. Don't drive, don't cross the road, don't leave the house in fact. Oh but wait, don't most accidents happen in the home? Blimey I'd better sleep through the entire 9 months. Yeah, but what about muscle atrophy, ante natal appointments, feeding myself (as above, in itself a minefield)...

Life is risky. Bringing a new life into the world is also going to be risky. Having the occasional half of cider is minute on the overall risk scale.

No wonder people are so stressed these days. I wish people could just relax and enjoy living and save the worrying until something worrying actually happens. Which it will eventually, (that's life), but not because of a relaxing half of cider.

Savannah is the reason why old people patronize young people.

Today half a pint of cider, tomorrow crack cocaine. It's a slippery slope.

Savannah:

"no, I find it absolutely disgusting that anyone would force alcohol onto their baby when that baby cannot speak for itself and say no!! the baby has no choice but to eat what you eat and drink what you drink till he or she is born, everyone who finds it acceptable should for sure be ashamed of themselves!!!!"

Ha ha.

I think you'll find that most baby's have little choice. From conception through till .... toddlerhood?
Do babies get to choose whether they are breastfed, or which brand of formula they are given.

Au natural steamed crushed carrots, blw, or jars?

Cous-cous and kumquats for Siegfried or a Big Mac?

Nope. Thought not.

And flat pack confirms my opinions of women called Jackie. Although, to be fair, that might be me projecting.

I'm not from the UK but I do wonder if you people realise that if you can't have a good time without alcohol or if you can't lay off the drink, you probably have a drink problem.

Now I do object in the strongest possible terms to your lazy generalisation. YOU PEOPLE? What a silly thing to say.

Exactly pretty and holly infantilising women especially and a nasty whiff of mysogyny and control too.

Bloody hell RoseWhiteTips probably the first and last time I agree with you.

Where are you from thislittlepiggy? Do tell so we can chuck some lazy national stereotypes in your direction.

apriljune12

😂🤣

Perhaps we should have farms of pregnant women so they can be watched at all times?

@apriljune12

Some people deserve to be infantalised - I think I understand this bollocksy phrase.

Because the idiot is a woman isn't reason for it to be misogynist.

@HollyGoLoudly1

"Where on the continuum does risk become acceptable?"

"An excellent question, and surely one for mums/parents to decide for themselves when presented with proper evidence"

The law steps in though as, collectively, people are stupid. We have everything from laws about seatbelts to social services. 'ur bubz, ur rulz hun' isn't actually a thing.

After reading this thread I'm now going to buy some alcohol free beer.

And of course, stress is bad for the baby so you absolutely must not let yourself be stressed.

Sitting around too much is also a risk (risk of DVTs). But you might fall and sprain an ankle (or worse) if you go out.

Breathing in diesel particulates is not good for you, let alone the baby, so you'd better make sure you live somewhere that there is no traffic presumably you can arrange to have your food supplies parachuted in

Definitely don't give birth in Scotland as they might give you heroin diamorphine for pain relief Definitely don't give birth in England as they might give you pethidine for pain relief - which is arguably less effective as pain relief and has a longer impact on the baby than heroin diamorphine.

In fact don't have painkillers at all. How can you be sure that you know the correct limits, so you might overdose on ibuprofen or paracetamol? But small doses of aspirin might help prevent a miscarriage (Heaven forfend if anyone sees you taking one )

Sooooo many contradictions - and soooo many pass-remarkable people who somehow think that pregnant women lose the capacity for rational thought Worse, that they can pass judgement on those pregnant women

Thank you, Uncreative
I did indeed mean 'each evening' on that particular weekend (two evenings), not 'each evening' throughout the pregnancy.

FFS! I meant 'thank you karyatide' and perhaps a more sarcastic thank you to Uncreative's creative editing...

But also thank you Uncreative for the apology

Right, that's me done with half-posts...

some people deserve to be infantilised

No they don’t

@drastard some people deserve to be infantalised I would actually agree, which is why the NHS guidelines need to take into account health psychology and the UK alcohol culture, rather than simply being based on scientific evidence.

'ur bubz, ur rulz' isn't a thing. Again I agree. Nowhere have I said this. I'm not actually sure what your argument with me is here?

Nobody deserves to be infantilised. That's a ridiculous notion.

And I'm uneasy about lumping 'old people' together in the comment about why old people patronise young people. I expect some people might think of me as old but I'm not, it's just that my skin hasn't got the message.