Scalded for drinking alcohol by a stranger

[Boilin]

Went to Wetherspoons (I'm still there) with DP. I'm 28 weeks pregnant at the moment and had half a pint of cider with my meal. The woman who served it to me had no issue with it whatsoever, but the man stood next to me (not sure if he was slightly drunk) felt it appropriate to tell my DP that 'that won't be good for her or the baby' (hello I'm stood right here ). DP told him, 'it's fine' and told me to ignore him and the bloke then continued to discuss under his breath with his partner/friend my choice to have a drink.

AIBU to think he had no right? To think that it's fine that I had half a pint once in a blue moon? To feel pissed off with the constant judgement of my ever move since I've been pregnant?

Ugh. I've just had enough of today! Sorry for moaning...

I know my last baby was born 19 years ago but honestly people were much more sensible before the internet.

You had the advice from your midwife re cutting out fags and cutting out booze but a glass every now and then was fine.

People now feel they are experts on everything as they read an article on google.

@Scout1774 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Oh my! This thread is another corker for updating the spreadheet

I wouldn't say a word but I would be worried why you couldn't leave it for a couple of months.

I have to say that I have read a lot of worrying alcohol related stuff on MN. Like a thread a while back where people claimed not wanting to go to a wedding if there was no alcohol. And people who write that if you go out you should get pissed. I'm not from the UK but I do wonder if you people realise that if you can't have a good time without alcohol or if you can't lay off the drink, you probably have a drink problem.

I don't think that one cider will harm your baby though, I just would be worried if you have a drink problem.

@thislittlepiggywenttothemarket I'm worried that you're worried that you think I have a drink problem because I had half a cider!

This thread is bonkers.

I rarely post but have been following this thread alternating between dropping my jaw in disbelief and rolling on the couch laughing (watch out for carrots and other plant based substances! 😂). For clarity, I come from a scientific background as a research chemist for a pharmaceutical company. Well versed in evaluating and interpreting data, research and statistics.

I don't even know where to begin with Savannah's posts, except that from a pharmaceutical standpoint - you are wrong. Completely wrong. In many different ways. Moving on...

There is ZERO scientific evidence that occasional LOW LEVEL drinking causes ANY harm to a foetus. Current NHS guidelines are a public health policy very much needed due to UK drinking culture and the inability of many to sensibly and intelligently assess and apply guidance (as proven by so many on this thread). There is a massive difference between a public health policy (created to prevent people 'bending' the rules and drinking a bottle of vodka once a week) and actual scientific facts.

People can choose to drink or not while pregnant. I myself have chosen not to but for reasons that have NOTHING to thinking that half a pint of cider a couple of times a week will cause FAS/FASD/anything other than mild, mild relaxation for the mother.

To judge a mother for choosing to drink small amounts while pregnant because you think it will harm the foetus is totally misinformed. To publicly confront her partner (!!!) about her 'behaviour' is laughable at best and massively unacceptable. So OP to address your original AIBU - the guy was totally out of line and YADNBU.

Also Scout1774 brilliant post, pretty much sums up my pregnancy so far 👍

scout1774

Probably the best post on mumsnet in my 10 years plus on here.

thislittkepiggie

You say you are not from the UK so perhaps you arnt really qualified to add an opinion on this topic as you clearly don’t understand the current research.

Agree with Holly and karyatide. The much cited 'one or two units once or twice a week' always seemed too much to me, personally (no aspersions cast on anyone else's view). But after the first half of my pregnancies was past, I did have a small glass of wine or prosecco now and again - on average perhaps once every two or three weeks. (The exception was when I was nearly 12 weeks with dc3 and had a very rare weekend away with a friend for my birthday - I did then have a glass of wine with dinner each evening - having abstained from the beginning and then thereafter until about 20 weeks). I don't have any indication that it has harmed any of my dc.

The trouble is people seem to have lost the ability to apply any common sense to research based evidence.

Seriously you have to be beyond stupid if you think an occasional cider is harming your baby. Really really stupid.

I don't think that one cider will harm your baby though, I just would be worried if you have a drink problem.

You would worry because a perfect stranger is having a half pint of cider (surely the perfect drink for the occasion) during a summer pub lunch? I would worry that about your anxiety levels if such trivia troubles you!

Do you know how much one or two units is?

A glass of wine. Alcohol volume varies but yes, a glass of wine can contain as much as two units of alcohol.

It is because so many people don’t understand this that the guidance was changed.

@AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight

You do realise that you drank more than recommended in your pregnancy despite saying that the recommendations seemed too much?

The much cited 'one or two units once or twice a week' always seemed too much to me, personally (no aspersions cast on anyone else's view). ........I did then have a glass of wine with dinner each evening - having abstained from the beginning and then thereafter until about 20 weeks).

As you said, no ill effects.

No people understand it fine it’s just now a ridiculously nanny state approach to everything. The vast majority of pregnant women understand that abstaining or cutting right back to the occasional glass is best In pregnancy.

The ones who can’t interoret research and ‘worry people have a drink problem with one cider’ are the stupid. You can’t argue with stupid.

@Uncreative

Yes. And one pint of beer or cider (4,5% ABV is 2.6 units, I believe...)

Yes, a few sips of champagne of a half pint of cider should be fine...

But people's perceptions of quantity can be very skewed. Which is probably why "no alcohol" is the safest general policy/advice.

The only skewed perceptions on here are from the hysteria surrounding half a cider.

@apriljune12

It goes in both directions imo

Half a glass of cider? How dare you!!

I had a few pints a week, alcohol is fine in moderation, isn't it?

Uncreative

Some of the cheekiest editing I have ever seen!

I apologise, I over edited. It was unintentional.

ElderlyLady was very clear in her post that it was just one weekend that she drank a glass every night. But I do think the contrast with her opinion on one or two units stands.

But I do think the contrast with her opinion on one or two units stands.

How so?

So just because some people don't know what a unit of alcohol is, then even those that do know should not drink any alcohol.

Yet another example of infantilising people in general and women in particular

@prettybird Exactly! Public health policies need to cater to the lowest common denominator, leading to people being ill informed, jumping on ther high horse + confronting others with their 'knowledge'.

I'll echo previous posters - show us one, just one, peer reviewed scientific research paper that says anything about low level alcohol consumption being dangerous. Oh you can't? That's because there aren't any.

"she can barely string a comprehensive sentence together"

I love the smell of irony in the morning @Boilin

What you haven't said is what's a reasonable amount of alcohol to drink when carrying another child inside you (another was deliberate).

How much can I smoke? How much blue cheese or cured meat? Where on the continuum does risk become acceptable?