Scalded for drinking alcohol by a stranger

[Boilin]

Went to Wetherspoons (I'm still there) with DP. I'm 28 weeks pregnant at the moment and had half a pint of cider with my meal. The woman who served it to me had no issue with it whatsoever, but the man stood next to me (not sure if he was slightly drunk) felt it appropriate to tell my DP that 'that won't be good for her or the baby' (hello I'm stood right here ). DP told him, 'it's fine' and told me to ignore him and the bloke then continued to discuss under his breath with his partner/friend my choice to have a drink.

AIBU to think he had no right? To think that it's fine that I had half a pint once in a blue moon? To feel pissed off with the constant judgement of my ever move since I've been pregnant?

Ugh. I've just had enough of today! Sorry for moaning...

Fgs how many of us have drunk before we knew we were pregnant.

Lots of us haven’t because we were trying actively to conceive and therefore didn’t want to risk drinking and being pregnant. Plus alcohol reduces fertility.

and I can safely say I don't need to learn anymore.. @ Savanah*

My goodness, you could certainly benefit from learning how to use the English language properly. You really sound like a moron I’m afraid. The OP is probably putting her baby at more risk by crossing the street or getting in a car than enjoying the occasional half of cider with her dinner. Why do these threads bring out such idiots!? OP enjoy your pregnancy and don’t let I’ll informed twits get you down.

Flatpackjackie Because the research says so. There has been lots of research into this.

Yes lots of research and the only conclusion is that there is no known safe limit. Sure it's possible or even probable that half a pint of cider is fine but it's not known. And in fact some of the more recent studies when I was pregnant in 2012, showed that even tiny amounts of alcohol had a negative impact on the adult fertility of male foetuses. I don't think a half pint of cider every now and then is worth the risk of my son and a future partner going through hell when trying to ttc in the future.

@crispysausagerolls and lots of us did because it was around Christmas and New Year.

@trancepants how did they separate that out from factors like shit diet include ngvthe man's own alcohol consumption, inadequate exercise and environmental pollution?

@SavanahXx dimwits like you are the reason that women aren't trusted to make informed decisions over their own bodies. Sigh.

they wouldn't say the risks are greater if there was absolutely no risks what so ever.

There is no such thing as “absolutely no risk whatsoever” in any medical context; I sincerely hope that anyone attempting to dispense medical advice en masse understands that basic point. What is the risk that your taking a paracetamol causes you spontaneously to self combust? It isn’t high, but it isn’t zero because it isn’t impossible.

to them unborn babies

Nor look I hate pendants but really if you want to help any mythical babies you may have in the future educate yourself about alcohol drugs grammar and life in general

@SavanahXx you definitely need to do courses in statistics and media studies for starters as it would help you interpret data and see how the media manipulates stories to generate a headline.

Unsurprisingly, the frothy sanctimony brigade are out in droves. What hope do women have not to be lectured by pompous males when so many are happy to join the finger wagging and tutting themselves. OP - hope you enjoyed your half of cider, you wicked reprobate, you.

@wombatsears behave yourself - no need for the name calling.

crispy

We have 5 children. Alcohol was involved in they are all graduates or soon to be at uni.

I get it must be bloody awful to want babies and it’s not happening,and you then try anything to concieve , but don’t make your situation everyone’s as it isn’t

@SavanahXx you are probably the most deluded person I've ever come across on Mumsnet, although @Flatpackjackie is a close second. Congratulations!

This thread is hilarious. A good read while I have a gin, hope I'm not pregnant!

Na the kid started the name calling of a mature pregnant woman.

Don’t give it if you can’t take it.

Ok I can’t take some posts seriously. I think they can’t b. Schools and uni back soon arnt they?

@Savanah

Boak

This thread has been great, thanks Boilin

Love that half a pint of cider = "boozing" It's a slippery slope, OP. Half a cider today, next thing you know, you'll be downing a bottle of vodka with breakfast Now you're pregnant, you can't be trusted to make your own decisions!

SavanahXx, would you have the same reaction if the OP posted that she'd had a freshly squeezed orange juice? Because if it's not been pasturised, there could be a risk of listeria and E.coli. Where does the balance of risk stop?

I'd be more concerned that you think it's ok as a pregnant woman to go into wetherspoons 😂😂😂
I had a bottle of Guinness a day when I was pregnant, and I hardly drunk anything before!!, midwives advice.

I haven't put any form of unnecessary risk on my little girl

Do you never leave the house??

Well OP, as you've probably noticed from this thread people are quick to judge on a snapshot of your life!

Ridiculous!!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

@savanahXx - this will come across as patronising and I don't mean it to - it is a genuine question, have you read (properly) some of the comments to you? I don't mean the ones berating/mocking you... I mean the ones that have explained what the links you've posted actually demonstrate (rather than what the headline simply says)?

Being a parent is a tricky task - heck my DD is 15 and I'm still learning how much I get wrong on a weekly basis! There is so much thrown at mothers/fathers/parents (whether they are 19 or 39) and it is hard to navigate through the guilt complex that modern media/society can put upon a parent. From feeding to sleeping, to what toys to buy when they are little, to use of social media to how to prepare your children for adulthood whilst still trying to keep them safe and wrapped in cotton wool

But one of the ways to steer a course through this is to be open minded and listen to others experiences, to read critically and not blindly, to not hold oneself up as a paragon of virtue before hubris kicks you in the butt.

I'm really not being patronising - in my mid 40s I get it wrong, parenting a teenager is a whole different ball game to parenting a baby. I need advice, reassurance, a reminder to give my head a wobble every now and then.

You have made a decision not to drink during your pregnancy - bravo, that works for you. You may, in the future, make decisions that others will frown upon. Parenting is a tough enough job without setting yourself up for a potential fall and without kicking others along the way.

I wish you every happiness with your pregnancy and your child

Bezm

Me too and my mil forced it on me :)

@trancepants how did they separate that out from factors like shit diet include ngvthe man's own alcohol consumption, inadequate exercise and environmental pollution?

I don't honestly know. I read about it over 6 years ago, I think it was a Danish study. I assume the study involved retroactive examination of the mother's drinking habits while pregnant as I can't imagine they studied the drinking habits of a group of pregnant women, carrying male foetuses. Then came back thirty years later and checked their sperm quality. So obviously the results wouldn't be conclusive.

But that's the thing. When it comes to drinking alcohol in pregnancy, knowledge is far from conclusive. Tbh, I was an err on the side of every safety possible when I was pregnant and ate or drank very little of anything with associated warnings. No alcohol, soft cheeses, pate, etc. I still stress about the few weeks where I drank soy milk as dairy made me sick because I read about oestrogen in soy being risky for male foetuses.

@Bezm my mother was told to drink Guinness when pregnant with me so it was fairly common.