DH is being dim, isn't he? Financial

[escapetothecuntree]

So we usually do our regular online shop at Sainsbury's, because this is one of the very few supermarkets that shock what DH likes for his dinners (very restrictive dietary needs).

Anyway, I've just noticed Morrison's sale the same thing for cheaper, it's on offer. Only about 30p difference, but we by several of these so it all adds up. Plus, their basics are cheaper.

DH is putting his foot down and saying no, he doesn't want to try Morrison's.

I've asked why and he says there's no point. I said we could save £5/10. He said I don't really care about saving a few quid

Yeah, like we have money to just burn

So I asked again, and he said it's just too much faff to change.
I said but I've signed up instantly. He says no, I'm comfortable with Sainsbury's so leave it at that.

AIBU to think he's being bloody dim? Why wouldn't you save just a few quid? Why spend more money, even small amounts, when you don't have to?

He's adamant it's too much hassle. And says he isn't interested in saving a few quid. It's not worth it.

For context, either myself or him order the online shop. I was going to do it so it's not like he had to go out of his way to sign up or anything. I'd already done it.

In annoyance, he's agreed to add it all up and see if there's any difference at all. Sod's law it'll cost the same overall or be more expensive.

Not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps I just need a rant

He will most likely see the thread and get the hump. Hopefully it doesn't turn out that I'm U!

said what gives you the right to tell me what I can and cannot have in the house? He said "You knew full well when you met me how I am. And you made out like you were fine to do the vegetarian lifestyle

He's got a point there OP. I'm vegetarian and always have been. If my DP started bring meat into the house I would be beyond pissed off.

On the other hand his diet does sound pretty grin. If he wants to eat a special diet and he's happy to prepare it for himself that fine. But you should be free to eat whatever (vegetarian) dish you like at home.

I missed more hearty meals blush spaghetti b, shepherds pie, lasagne

You can make really nice veggie versions of all of these. You should try it, and maybe he would join you

I wouldn't leave for the eating disorder, but for the way he tries to control what you eat.

Well you could save money by him cutting out the Linda McCartney stuff for a start.

And tinned carrots, why would anyone buy tinned carrots as apposed to fresh?

If you did have an agreement not to have meat in the house then I suppose he has a point, but it doesn't mean you have to eat horrible processed stuff and things like tinned carrots.

I'm not surprised you don't want to eat like he does. It sounds like he has major issues around food.

Suggest before he carries on declaring what he will and won’t allow in the house he look s at his own diet - for anyone serious about gym training his is seriously shit!
And if he’s buying new protein shakes/bars etc tell him to check the taurine source........

Well, if you're no longer willing to not eat meat at home, and he says it's a dealbreaker, what are you going to choose?

He sounds like a he's a controlling angry dick, tbh.

I'd start pulling him up on how crap his 'vegetarian' food is compared to a proper vegetarian food.

His diet is full of sugar, salt and chemicals and nothing to being a healthy.

Although personally I would be looking at the whole relationship with new eyes and looking at whether I would want to continue with it.

@queenworkerbee - how do you get free bottles of champagne? I’ve been using Ocado for years and never had that. Waitrose online did give me free wine and chocolates once but that was as an apology because they delivered my shopping early

Yabu for using tinned veg.

That is wrong on so many levels.

The more I read, the more I think this is less about Sainsburys and more about control. And I'm a vegetarian living with a household that mainly eat veggie with me (nice veggies meals; exciting flavours and textures or a bit of stodge like a good old cottage pie if that's what we fancy!) but of course eat meat when the meal of choice can be made with both easily.....

Wow. I couldn't live with a dictator like this. Having veggie lifestyle and values is one thing. Controlling how the household shops and eats and being vile to ones spouse is another....

I just don't want to eat what he does. It's boring and so samey. But I can't do much about it because the budget doesn't spread that far. I can't go out and buy myself separate stuff because there's no money really and he won't allow it in the house

He just asked me what I want from Sainsbury's and I said bread, and milk. I can't get anything else because he won't buy anything meat based

I said I'll do my shopping for me this week on Monday and he said "Well no you won't because the budget is too tight this week so either say what you want now or go without"

And he's right, money is very tight this week

I can understand a veggie not wanting meat in the kitchen. But being veggie in itself is not that restrictive - there’s so much to eat other than meat. It just seems there’s only a very narrow range of really disgusting food he will eat.

Hi all
Thereis an app that gives you supermarket up to date prices for everything, make your list up based on that and place order or go shopping accordingly.
Waitrose and Sainsbury for fancy items
Morrison’s for fish deffinately and some meats
and the bread is very good too
Aldi, fresh pizza, deli counter and some frozen veg
Lidl don’t know. Not near to one
Asda, don’t know don’t have one near

That last update is awful op. Do as I say or go without food?😰

He won't let you shop in the supermarket of your choice
He won't let you eat what you choose
He eats a poor diet
He doesn't care how much it costs
Hmm...

For the shopping, try entering your weekly shop into Mysupermarket, you can compare prices at different supermarkets. You could alternate, stock up on his tinned carrots (yuk) and all the stuff cheaper at Sainsburys one week, then Morrisons the next or whatever.
(That's if you are still together)

I guess not right now as money is so tight, but can you get your own mini fridge to keep meat in?

You need to sit down and discuss with him how you are bored with the meals you have, you both need to enjoy them and can you agree on some different things to cook.

Your children are going to have serious food issues!!! I’m a veggie but cook meat for my family as its MY choice and you really cannot impose your beliefs on people like that! He sound very controlling. You have bigger problems that saving a few pence. If he’s that ‘ethical’ reming him of the environmental cost of mining, making the tin, canning carrots, transporting a heavy item, you get the idea. As opposed to bulk sreaming chopped carrots on a sunday for the week, grown locally and at least with some nutritional value! At what he pays you could even afford organic and still save money!!!

And Why why why do you let someone that is meant to love you treat you like this? You are worth so much more! If you recently moved in then i’m assuming the relationship if still young?

As others have said, that diet will do him no favours at the gym and probably the reason he's so blooming mardy!

An obvious way to cut costs it to stop with the ready meals.

Vegetable dishes, curries etc don’t cost that much to make from scratch.

Just saw your last post, he is starving you OP!
Why is he wasting money on tinned carrots if money is tight? Tell him to buy 1kg of carrots, cook and freeze them. Much cheaper.

Shumpa, I think its nicer with homemade chicken stock. Possibly a no to that from a vegetarian though! If you fry the onion in butter and oil the flavour is amazing.

OP, if you agreed with the vegetarian lifestyle thing at first have you now changed your mind? I can see why he was pissed off if you agreed no meat then bought ham.

My sister in law had this with her husband. They agreed that she would eat meat out of the home.

However, it sounds like you are both eating rubbish that you THINK is cheap but isn't.

Your husband doesn't have a clue about nutrition. He also sounds very stubborn around food.

Maybe sit down together and talk the issues through? Maybe get him to read a bit about nutrition? Jamie Olivers book Everday Superfood has a lot in it *though isn't a vegetarian book.

Apologies for all my spelling mistakes

What on earth is in this relationship for you????

I'm not veggie, but my DH is. I made it quite clear when we moved in together that I would not stop eating meat. TBH, I do most of the cooking and usually do veggie stuff e.g. Quorn mince. But if we have sausages I have meat ones, I have steak and he has quorn burgers, I have fish burgers, he has cheese and onion grills. We have lots of pasta, always veggie. I also put my meat products in a sealed box in the fridge so there is absolutely no chance of cross contamination.
If you did agree to not have meat in the house the. I think you should stick to that promise. It's obviously very important to him.
However, he also sounds like he has food obsessions. Is he aware that most tinned produce, e.g. Peas, carrots, soups etc are made in the same factories with the same ingredients? It's on,y the label, and price that's different! You said you can't do Asda as they don't have some of the things he likes, I agree, some of the quorn products are only in certain supermarkets, I get round this by stocking up, so will buy several packs in one go.
I would agree with others, if he wants certain foods from certain shops, he does his own shopping.

Oh, and BTW, tinned carrots drained, heated up, add butter, lots of black pepper and chop finely. Food of the gods! I do also love fresh carrots, cut into batons and braised with water, orange juice and butter.

That's really bad. It's sounding more like he's using his supposed ethical principles as a means to financially abuse you. Do you actually have access to the family money, why does he get to veto what it's spent on, why are his dietary choices prioritised?

Your husband doesn't have a clue about nutrition.

This.

Do you have access to money, OP, or does he control it?