DH is being dim, isn't he? Financial

[escapetothecuntree]

So we usually do our regular online shop at Sainsbury's, because this is one of the very few supermarkets that shock what DH likes for his dinners (very restrictive dietary needs).

Anyway, I've just noticed Morrison's sale the same thing for cheaper, it's on offer. Only about 30p difference, but we by several of these so it all adds up. Plus, their basics are cheaper.

DH is putting his foot down and saying no, he doesn't want to try Morrison's.

I've asked why and he says there's no point. I said we could save £5/10. He said I don't really care about saving a few quid

Yeah, like we have money to just burn

So I asked again, and he said it's just too much faff to change.
I said but I've signed up instantly. He says no, I'm comfortable with Sainsbury's so leave it at that.

AIBU to think he's being bloody dim? Why wouldn't you save just a few quid? Why spend more money, even small amounts, when you don't have to?

He's adamant it's too much hassle. And says he isn't interested in saving a few quid. It's not worth it.

For context, either myself or him order the online shop. I was going to do it so it's not like he had to go out of his way to sign up or anything. I'd already done it.

In annoyance, he's agreed to add it all up and see if there's any difference at all. Sod's law it'll cost the same overall or be more expensive.

Not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps I just need a rant

He will most likely see the thread and get the hump. Hopefully it doesn't turn out that I'm U!

If money really is that tight you can make things like bean chilli, or eggs or beans on toast, or omelettes for far less than processed meat substitutes, which really are quite expensive.

Or a lentil bolognese or cottage pie. Get a small amount of loose fresh vegetables, this works out cheaper than canned.

Just what everyone else is saying really, but you can cook veggie food that's varied, tasty and healthy on a very low budget.

But that isn't really the problem, is it? I get that money is tight, but that doesn't mean he gets to control it and you.

He sounds INCREDIBLY controlling. He's allowed what he wants and he won't compromise and you can just ... not eat?
Surely if the budget is that tight that you can't go shopping for food you need to eat then he should be happy to shop at Morrison's and save the extra fiver?
He's an absolute arse op ffs wake up.

He sounds like a cunt, why are you with him?

Who eats tinned carrots?

if you boil carrots you can puree them (presumably he doesn't have a thing about organic? therefore he doesn't have a problem with killing bees!) don't tell him that your life will be worse. We use quorn products - use quorn with fajita kits("chicken pieces) but you must fry onions, capsicum first than add the pieces & quickly fry the pieces & add toms) for soya/quorn mince use need to sweeten it by adding toms & fry onion peppers etc first & only flash fry the mince I often add a little sweet pickle to this to give it abite or ...apple! veg tagine is lovely cook in slow cooker - tinned chickpeas (you can use dried but its a bit of a faff) put onion capsicum sweet pots &/or butternut squash in a little oil in slow cooker with cumin & coriander (or mild curry powder) for an hour add toms (tin or that amount fresh) salt pepper for a another hour than drain chickpea & add for another hour (3 hours total) add herb you like a little while before serving (green coriander, or mint etc) serve with rice or pitas & salad.

What budget is allowed and what food is allowed for your child?

@loveka sounds lovely, i'll try that!

OP, this is no way to live. He sounds awful. What about if you get the staples first (i.e. Stuff you both will eat, milk , bread etc) and the rest of the budget is split between you, so he gets what he wants with his half and you get what you want with your half.

Please don't live on his crappy tinned carrot lentil stew (disclaimer: i love lentils, dhal is food of the gods).

I would be so tempted to say you're sensitive to wheat or dairy so he can't have that stuff in the house.

ps you can get veggie bacon rashes they are not bad

Yes I have access to money. I'm usually the one who's account the food shop comes out of

It's just stressful. Cooking two separate meals isn't as cheap as doing one and I'm sick to the death of eating the same thing. I actually miss being a child in a house that didn't have much. At least I got a proper dinner

How are finances split, OP?

I made a vegan curry a couple of days ago - it cost me less than £2 & will do at least 4 portions if I have it with rice or salad for each meal. No need at all for ready meals on a vegetarian diet. I have dietary restrictions too - which is part of the reason why I cook my own stuff. He sounds lazy & manipulative.

That's pretty scary. I get him being annoyed at you going back on the agreement but there's plenty of filling meals you can eat on a budget without meat. Also I'd money is that tight why throw food away?

Does he control other stuff? Do you have kids?

If money is tight, his strawberry soy milk drinks can be the first thing to go.

Regarding the meat, obviously he was out of order throwing it out, regardless of what you'd agreed. I would say you were BU to go back on the agreement, except he seems so controlling that I wonder if he berated you into it. And if he wants a fully vegetarian household, he needs to learn to cook some veggie food that's actually nice.

We don't have dairy in the house either really. DH tries to stay away and I can't have it because I'm breastfeeding and my baby has an allergy to it

Hold on. His expensive food comes out of your account and you're not allowed to buy what food you want?! Can you block his access to your account?

Budget is about £40/45 a week

Use the one that's cheapest unless it's only a few quid.

The meat thing is unreasonable - this is exactly the same as if you decided to become a vegan and he said you weren't allowed to buy/store the food for thd new diet because he says so. He needs to learn to come to a compromise, and if he insists on staying with Sainsbury's it's probably a good time to raise it.

How's this going to work when baby is eating? What's baby going to eat?

Also you're BREASTFEEDING! When I was breastfeeding my mil was stuffing me with bacon and all sorts of stuff to keep my milk supply up. So he'd rather endanger the baby than let you buy food?

I'm all for trying to work stuff out but this is ridiculous. I'm scared for your baby. HV is not going to be impressed.

You need to cook something you both can eat if he wont.

He needs to learn to compromise, as you did by agreeing no meat.

Your husband is an abusive cunt.

You're breastfeeding and he's not allowing you to eat a proper diet.

Yes, I was thinking that he awful diet might be contributing to his bad temper. He can be healthy on what he eats.

I don't think he's being dim so much as nasty, spiteful and controlling.

Seems that as long as he can have his awful crap diet of tinned and processed rubbish it doesn't matter to him one way or the other whether there's enough money left over for you to eat.

If you're BF and your body is telling you to eat meat, do it. Advise him in no uncertain terms you will be doing so and that he should not choose that hill to die on.

Fucking livid on your behalf and your baby's to be honest. I would be setting aside a steak budget from my account at this point.

His problem is not being vegetarian but being an arse.