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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH is being dim, isn't he? Financial

406 replies

escapetothecuntree · 18/08/2018 10:31

So we usually do our regular online shop at Sainsbury's, because this is one of the very few supermarkets that shock what DH likes for his dinners (very restrictive dietary needs).

Anyway, I've just noticed Morrison's sale the same thing for cheaper, it's on offer. Only about 30p difference, but we by several of these so it all adds up. Plus, their basics are cheaper.

DH is putting his foot down and saying no, he doesn't want to try Morrison's.

I've asked why and he says there's no point. I said we could save £5/10. He said I don't really care about saving a few quid Confused

Yeah, like we have money to just burn Hmm

So I asked again, and he said it's just too much faff to change.
I said but I've signed up instantly. He says no, I'm comfortable with Sainsbury's so leave it at that.

AIBU to think he's being bloody dim? Why wouldn't you save just a few quid? Why spend more money, even small amounts, when you don't have to?

He's adamant it's too much hassle. And says he isn't interested in saving a few quid. It's not worth it.

For context, either myself or him order the online shop. I was going to do it so it's not like he had to go out of his way to sign up or anything. I'd already done it.

In annoyance, he's agreed to add it all up and see if there's any difference at all. Sod's law it'll cost the same overall or be more expensive.

Not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps I just need a rant Envy

He will most likely see the thread and get the hump. Hopefully it doesn't turn out that I'm U!

OP posts:
Motoko · 19/08/2018 18:56

Just adding to the chorus. I'm glad you're going to your nan's. Tell her everything that's been going on, it's nothing to be ashamed of, as it's not your fault at all. This is all down to him.

Do the Freedom Programme, and don't worry about the logistics of everything now, you can sort all that out later, but for now, you need to concentrate on healing and looking after your baby.

MingeUterusMingeMingeYoni · 19/08/2018 19:13

Have some steak while you're there. Your iron is probably low at the moment.

ThanksHunkyJesus · 19/08/2018 20:04

I'm so so glad you're going to your nana. Tell her everything. Let her feed you up and look after you the way your husband should have been.

LittleOwl153 · 19/08/2018 20:35

Not sure how long you are going to be on the train tomorrow - but do try and get some food inside you before you go if it is a long journey - bacon buttie on the platform - anything to keep you going. Your Iron will be low because of the bleeding - if you dont eat iron rich foods you will find the journey very hard.

category12 · 19/08/2018 21:42

So relieved you're going to your Gran. You don't have to make any decisions right now, just get there and let yourself be taken care of.

OhTheRoses · 19/08/2018 22:04

Whatever you do don't change your mind abput going to ypur gran's tomorrow. Take yours and ds's passports, and bank statements.

Good luck. Go well.

TomPinch · 20/08/2018 02:08

OP,

I would like to tie your DH to a chair, and have him watch me eat a large helping of roast pork with cracking. And suet pudding for afters.

This would be just part of the punishment his behaviour deserves.

3luckystars · 20/08/2018 02:52

Hi I just wanted to join in and add my support for you going to your grandmothers.

If your husband treated your child this way, how would you feel? Well you are someone’s child too, you deserve to be treated with care.

I really hope you get huge support and manage escape from this awful, controlling environment. I wish you and your child all the very best for the future.

Every time I see a tin of carrots (I love them by the way) I will think about you and hope you broke free.

Nofilter · 20/08/2018 03:23

.

TomPinch · 20/08/2018 03:44

Actually I would like to tie your Dh to the chair and serve you all those things.

CatRen27 · 20/08/2018 03:53

Gosh @op what a harrowing thread. I'm so pleased you're talking the advice of these clever and caring mumsnetters. Your husband is a cruel and selfish man and I'm so pleased you'll have some time away to be looked after (and your ds will be too). This is not a healthy relationship. If i was in your position my dh would be doing everything he could to look after me, look after the house and take care of things. This is what you deserve. I'm so sorry about your miscarriage 💐 and hope you get some clarity while you're away.

CatRen27 · 20/08/2018 03:54

And just to add that it definitely sounds like your dh has an eating disorder, but that doesn't justify his controlling and arsehattery behaviour towards you and ds.

FuckPants · 20/08/2018 06:53

I'm glad that you are going away for a few days at least, the more you post about your husband the more of a twat he sounds.

AfterSchoolWorry · 20/08/2018 08:19

Hope you're safely on your way OP.

Flowers
ResistanceIsNecessary · 20/08/2018 08:33

Solicitor. What he is doing is coercive control - which is illegal.

I have read some threads on MN which have detailed horrible abuse but this is one of the worst. Denying your breastfeeding wife who is literally still bleeding from a miscarriage a decent meal?

If he is reading this - fuck you, you cunt. That's a message from my DH who thinks that you are a fucking pimple on the arse of humanity.

Nofilter · 20/08/2018 13:59

How are you and baby doing OP? Completely shocked at your DH behaviour.

He did a great job in turning it all back onto you too so you would think YOU were being unreasonable... I hope you realise that is a calculated and intentional act OP and not just as a result of his beliefs around food and animals.

He knew EXACTLY what he was/is doing to you and that is what has people in complete shock on this thread - where is his basic human compassion?

Remember this when you have moments of fear. He's a rotten human being from the inside out.

You are a beautiful Mother of a miracle - onwards and upwards for the two of you!

Stay brave x Thanks

escapetothecuntree · 20/08/2018 14:55

Thank you ladies (and any men that have commented or said their opinion to their partners) Thanks

I arrived in London later this morning Smile

I have already eaten lasagna and chocolate pudding with custard Blush

I'm so happy to take this time away and reflect.

I don't think I would've left without these comments of support. I didn't feel alone. So thank you all for commenting

Going for a sleep with DS now after a lovely lunch, seeing more family tomorrow!

OP posts:
AfterSchoolWorry · 20/08/2018 15:20

I'm glad OP. Smile

RiverTam · 20/08/2018 15:28

That’s great to hear! Hopefully you can recoup and recgroup at your Nan’s.

Enjoy London!

Jozxyqk · 20/08/2018 15:39

I am so glad. Please don't give in to crocodile tears, promises that he'll change, etc. He must prove he'll change, and has changed, in every way that you need him to, before you consider continuing this. You need to be equal (for your own mental & physical health), and you need him to prove that he sees you as an equal in the relationship.

RoadToRivendell · 20/08/2018 16:27

So glad to hear this OP. Three cheers to your granny for giving you this much-needed break.

Roxers · 20/08/2018 16:28

Great to hear this. Now the key question is, are you going to stay away? 🤞🏻

NettleTea · 20/08/2018 18:55

so pleased. Some good food will help you get your mental, as well as physical, strength up.
Being looked after and cared for should remind you what your husband SHOULD have been doing, rather than just thinking about his own needs and raging.
Take some good care of yourself

IllHaveALargeGlassOfRed · 20/08/2018 19:34

Excellent news Escape! I can imagine granny feeding you up and you surrounded by delicious food! It's a lovely image ❤️

OhTheRoses · 20/08/2018 19:34

V pleased to hear you are being looked after

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