DH is being dim, isn't he? Financial

[escapetothecuntree]

So we usually do our regular online shop at Sainsbury's, because this is one of the very few supermarkets that shock what DH likes for his dinners (very restrictive dietary needs).

Anyway, I've just noticed Morrison's sale the same thing for cheaper, it's on offer. Only about 30p difference, but we by several of these so it all adds up. Plus, their basics are cheaper.

DH is putting his foot down and saying no, he doesn't want to try Morrison's.

I've asked why and he says there's no point. I said we could save £5/10. He said I don't really care about saving a few quid

Yeah, like we have money to just burn

So I asked again, and he said it's just too much faff to change.
I said but I've signed up instantly. He says no, I'm comfortable with Sainsbury's so leave it at that.

AIBU to think he's being bloody dim? Why wouldn't you save just a few quid? Why spend more money, even small amounts, when you don't have to?

He's adamant it's too much hassle. And says he isn't interested in saving a few quid. It's not worth it.

For context, either myself or him order the online shop. I was going to do it so it's not like he had to go out of his way to sign up or anything. I'd already done it.

In annoyance, he's agreed to add it all up and see if there's any difference at all. Sod's law it'll cost the same overall or be more expensive.

Not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps I just need a rant

He will most likely see the thread and get the hump. Hopefully it doesn't turn out that I'm U!

You husband sounds very controlling. Why should there only be things he likes in the house. You live and eat there too

Oh Lordy tinned carrots. I once worked with a woman who used to make tinned carrot sandwiches with sliced white bread. It made me throw up a bit in my mouth to watch her eat them.

Sorry, misses point of thread.........

It's starting to sound like he's controlling and abusive.

Throwing away your food because you've 'agreed' not to have meat in the house when it sounds like nothing of the sort.

It would also be interesting to see your budget and how fairly the money is distributed. Your comment about not having money to burn suggests that you might be struggling, but he has a gym membership and what sounds the monopoly on the food budget with no care about how much it costs - how many of these Linda McCartney things does he have a week?

I initially assumed this was due to medical need, but now it sounds like choice. OP can you clarify? Also, it is your house too, and you can buy and keep ham in it, if you wish. If all this is entirely choice, tell him to do his own shopping and cooking.

He sounds quite controlling. He can't dictate no meat in the house.

What did you do about the binned ham? Did he replace it?

It must get exhausting finding the cheapest supermarket for different things. Doesn't it just average out?

Tell him to his shopping himself.

It's news to me that Sainsbury's is better quality than Morrisons.

I have shopped at both, and find Sainsbury's no better. AND it's more expensive.

it clearly should be ‘AIBU to think my DH is a complete bellend when it comes to food?’

Yes this. Unless DH has some weird food issues/problems that have not been described, bellend seems the best description. I'm a vegetarian and the restricted, highly processed diet sounds appalling.

Is he restricting the weekly budget to £40? Then spending most of it on his "speshul" foods? You describe only having £10 left for yourself.

I also use mysupermarket to compare costs but sounds like he just wants to have complete control over the shopping rather than needing items of limited availability.

He's now saying "One thing I will not allow is meat in this house. I just won't allow it".

I said what gives you the right to tell me what I can and cannot have in the house? He said "You knew full well when you met me how I am. And you made out like you were fine to do the vegetarian lifestyle"

I said what's your issue, you're outrageously out of line.

He said "If you don't like it then go somewhere where they eat fucking meat and murder"

I've never really pushed him on the topic before but I'm shocked at his response

He can't dictate no meat in the house.

That rather depends on the agreement they have with respect to meat in the house.

However I agree the food control sounds odd and throwing food away is out of order.

So he thinks processed rubbish like golden vegetable rice helps him at the gym? Yes, he is dim then.

You can make that kind of rice very easily at home for pennies.

Fry onion celery and carrots until soft. Add rice and vegetable stock. Put lid on. Pilaf rice.

It sounds like he's "agreed" not to have meat in the house, & you weren't really given much say in the matter? Is he this controlling aboit other things, or just vegetarianism?

Did you agree to have no meat in the house?

It seems a very unfair ask. If my partner asked me to do that I'd laugh at him.

OP at times like this I am truly grateful to have a dh who doesn't shop or cook and couldn't give a flying fuck about what I buy or where I buy it from as long there is beer and good food in the house.

He trusts and relies upon me for all domestic and dc related issues.

Never thought of using stock instead of water in rice!

What about chicken stock? Or is veg nicer?

OP I think you have bigger concerns to resolve than 5 quid on the cost of shopping.

I would call his bluff. Either threaten to leave, or develop some principles on another point - for example, use of plastics (that'll be mighty tricky, given how many veggie foods come wrapped in plastic).

I can't believe he binned some ham you were eating

Why are yo letting him dictate what you can eat.

If you want to eat meat then buy it. Tell him to you do not interfere or moan about his food and you would appreciate the same respect from him.

Although his highly processed food does not sound healthy at all.

So he's basically a Vegetarian Gym Knob...

What about chicken stock? Or is veg nicer?

Whatever kind you like!

OP, I agree, this isn't about the shopping really. I can understand a vegetarian not wanting meat in the house, but I can't tell if you discussed and agreed to it or if he laid down the law.

And he needs to brush up his nutritional knowledge.

Why don't you cook for yourself? Batch-cook so you can just get something out of the freezer.

Meh. So he doesn't like change. Neither does my DH - tried and tested, same old same old all the way.

I just live with it.

Shump I did originally agree, yes.

So I have gone against what I said

FWIW, I once had a partner who had principles about not eating meat (vegan, actually). He was an abusive arse, & didn't have any environmental principles, but he liked to kid himself he was doing his bit by not eating or wearing animal parts. I sympathise.

Escape did you agree willingly, or did he pressure you?

This is one of those threads where it starts off with the OP's husband being a bit odd and ends up with them being unhinged!

It seems as though he has an eating disorder, OP. It also seems that he's incredibly controlling.

I'll give the first LTB of the thread.