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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH is being dim, isn't he? Financial

406 replies

escapetothecuntree · 18/08/2018 10:31

So we usually do our regular online shop at Sainsbury's, because this is one of the very few supermarkets that shock what DH likes for his dinners (very restrictive dietary needs).

Anyway, I've just noticed Morrison's sale the same thing for cheaper, it's on offer. Only about 30p difference, but we by several of these so it all adds up. Plus, their basics are cheaper.

DH is putting his foot down and saying no, he doesn't want to try Morrison's.

I've asked why and he says there's no point. I said we could save £5/10. He said I don't really care about saving a few quid Confused

Yeah, like we have money to just burn Hmm

So I asked again, and he said it's just too much faff to change.
I said but I've signed up instantly. He says no, I'm comfortable with Sainsbury's so leave it at that.

AIBU to think he's being bloody dim? Why wouldn't you save just a few quid? Why spend more money, even small amounts, when you don't have to?

He's adamant it's too much hassle. And says he isn't interested in saving a few quid. It's not worth it.

For context, either myself or him order the online shop. I was going to do it so it's not like he had to go out of his way to sign up or anything. I'd already done it.

In annoyance, he's agreed to add it all up and see if there's any difference at all. Sod's law it'll cost the same overall or be more expensive.

Not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps I just need a rant Envy

He will most likely see the thread and get the hump. Hopefully it doesn't turn out that I'm U!

OP posts:
TatianaLarina · 19/08/2018 12:21

I totally agree. I’m not vegetarian, but I don’t eat red meat including mince and sausages, because they’re vile.

I cannot imagine why anyone wants to eat fake mince.

If I liked the real thing I’d just eat it.

tabulahrasa · 19/08/2018 12:25

So I haven’t eaten meat for 30 years... but I’m not a proper vegetarian if I eat quorn or soya? Hmm

MingeUterusMingeMingeYoni · 19/08/2018 12:34

It's not so much that his food is too expensive per se OP as that it's too expensive for your budget. You have £40-£45 a week for one adult male, one breastfeeding woman and a weaning baby. So that means £12.50 a week on 5 bags of Linda McCartney chicken (google says £2.50 a bag at sainsbos) just for one person's evening meals isn't affordable. Even though £12.50 a week isn't that much to a lot of people. You're on a tighter budget than most. And when you're on a very narrow food budget, you don't buy fucking branded rice packets and milkshakes.

As I said upthread, your food budget is enough to give the three of you a decent, hearty veggie to vegan diet with plenty of nutrients and food you like too. The reason you've not been able to access this and have felt hungry is that he thinks his processed food fetish is more important.

etsiketsi · 19/08/2018 12:57

On a practical note OP, have you asked your local surgery whether you can get dairy substitutes on prescription? Some CCGs are still offering this I believe.

Original poster
escapetothecuntree · 19/08/2018 13:44

Sorry to derail again but just feeling sad.

DH and DS took an afternoon nap together. I had a deep clean down the stairs and started ironing.

Half way through ironing they both wake up. DS is a bit cranky but not crying or really upset, just a bit miserable and probably wanted milk. Fine.

Anyway, I get asked several times when I'll be done. To which I reply with the same answer, I just need to get everything ironed, not much left, and then I'll be up.

Most of which, I might add, is his stuff for work.

I go upstairs and DS cries when he sees me. But I go to sit on the bed and it appears I'm soaking through my pad Sad I had to change otherwise it'll be a mess.

I said I'm really sorry but I have to change first. He said "Yeah and then what?" And said what do you mean. He said well there must be something else after that too. I wonder what it'll be Hmm"

I said there's nothing I can do. I'm still bleeding quite heavily. He just shook his head from side to side.

OP posts:
Nononannette · 19/08/2018 13:49

a) stop ironing for him
b) if they are napping take the chance to rest yourself, or watch tv or have a gentle walk, not cleaning
c) you are unwell. If you were working at the moment you would be signed off. You need to be “signed off” at home too. Do stuff for your little one and you and that’s it.
d) I am against violence, but would dearly love to slap his side to side swaying head into next week.

tabulahrasa · 19/08/2018 13:49

Um... why is he having a nap while you clean and iron and not the other way round?...

DarlingNikita · 19/08/2018 13:49

He's a cunt, OP.

Sorry to be blunt, but he is.

I said there's nothing I can do. I'm still bleeding quite heavily. He just shook his head from side to side.

I can't imagine my DP in a million years doing that, even if it was just a heavy period, let alone what you're going through.

MingeUterusMingeMingeYoni · 19/08/2018 14:03

Why are you ironing his things while you're miscarrying and he naps?

category12 · 19/08/2018 14:03

He's an utter arse, OP. Have you any supportive family? Do you have a nice mum who would look after you given the chance? Cos I'd be going home to mother, tbh.

JammyGem · 19/08/2018 14:05

I'm in actual tears for you OP.

Why are you with him? He's a controlling cunt who's abusing you while you're still reeling from your MC. Do you have anywhere to go?

I am so horrified that he's treating you like this. You need to get out of there and find somewhere you can be looked after and recover.

etsiketsi · 19/08/2018 14:08

What would he have you do? Sit on your bed breastfeeding while flooding your clothes and bed linen?

Original poster
escapetothecuntree · 19/08/2018 14:08

My grandmother is continuously livid with his behaviour and would be the first to jump at having me and DS stay with her.

She cannot stand his diet but then again she also thinks red meat is healthy so who knows Smile

I miscarried the actual pregnancy a few days ago now, it's just the heavy bleeding that hasn't stopped. I was happy to iron and have a good clean, I quite enjoy it. Nice to just think to myself for a while. And I find it therapeutic. I just don't like being rushed

It's when I mentioned the bleeding that upset me. It upset me because me saying that should remind me I'm still going through a loss. I can't just magic up a cleansed uterus. My body is recovering physically still

That's what has angered me. Him napping was fine

OP posts:
category12 · 19/08/2018 14:12

I think you should go to your grandma and take a few days. Let her feed you up and get some time to think away from him.

JammyGem · 19/08/2018 14:13

Go to your grandmother's. Even if it's just for a few days to get away.

He knows you are still physically recovering but doesn't seem to have any sympathy or heart at all.

IllHaveALargeGlassOfRed · 19/08/2018 14:21

I've been quite flippant on this thread and I'm sorry about that. I've only been dipping in and out really but I've read your last 2 updates and I feel really angry for you. Your husband is an utter bastard who thinks of nobody but himself and I would end this marriage.

My DH is as dull as ditch water but give me dull anytime over this utter disdain your DH has for you and your baby.

Move in with your gran. I think you'd be a lot happier.

Nononannette · 19/08/2018 14:22

What happens if you ask him “when you shake you head, what did you mean?” I would call him on everything.

Oliversmumsarmy · 19/08/2018 14:34

Just seen his shopping list .

I can see how expensive those items are.

We buy pasta and rice and fresh vegetables. dried lentils and beans for a vegan it is very heavily processed

DarlingNikita · 19/08/2018 14:35

I think you should go to your grandma and take a few days. Let her feed you up and get some time to think away from him.

Please listen to this and the other voices of reason here, OP.

tabulahrasa · 19/08/2018 14:38

“Him napping was fine”

It’s not though, you might be ok with it - but he shouldn’t be, it’s basically a practical demonstration of how little he cares about your wellbeing.

HollowTalk · 19/08/2018 14:45

He's napping while you're having a miscarriage, and then he's nasty with you because you have to change your pad?

Call your grandmother now, OP. Ask if you can come to stay. Pack your bag and tell him you are absolutely fed up with him.

HermioneWeasley · 19/08/2018 14:48

Just read the latest. He’s a cold bastard isn’t he?

Roxers · 19/08/2018 14:48

I’ve been on here a decade and I think this is the saddest thread I’ve ever read. Please go to your nan’s and let her look after you. Please.

DameDoom · 19/08/2018 14:48

OP you seem like a lovely woman, you really do but I am beginning to feel quite cross fucking murderously livid with this piss-taking twat.

You do know that most DH/DP adore their other halves and would move Heaven and Earth to make them happy? I know it sounds a bit naff but after what you have just been through, he should be cossetting you in a shell of luxury ( within means) and care.

You deserve so much better than this.

ImAIdoot · 19/08/2018 15:01

"Why are you taking so long hoovering after your miscarriage, bitch, I need to nap so I'm ready for the gym otherwise I won't properly enjoy my blueberries"

I hope you're reading this, carrot man. You're a bumhead.

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