DH is being dim, isn't he? Financial

[escapetothecuntree]

So we usually do our regular online shop at Sainsbury's, because this is one of the very few supermarkets that shock what DH likes for his dinners (very restrictive dietary needs).

Anyway, I've just noticed Morrison's sale the same thing for cheaper, it's on offer. Only about 30p difference, but we by several of these so it all adds up. Plus, their basics are cheaper.

DH is putting his foot down and saying no, he doesn't want to try Morrison's.

I've asked why and he says there's no point. I said we could save £5/10. He said I don't really care about saving a few quid

Yeah, like we have money to just burn

So I asked again, and he said it's just too much faff to change.
I said but I've signed up instantly. He says no, I'm comfortable with Sainsbury's so leave it at that.

AIBU to think he's being bloody dim? Why wouldn't you save just a few quid? Why spend more money, even small amounts, when you don't have to?

He's adamant it's too much hassle. And says he isn't interested in saving a few quid. It's not worth it.

For context, either myself or him order the online shop. I was going to do it so it's not like he had to go out of his way to sign up or anything. I'd already done it.

In annoyance, he's agreed to add it all up and see if there's any difference at all. Sod's law it'll cost the same overall or be more expensive.

Not really sure why I'm writing this, perhaps I just need a rant

He will most likely see the thread and get the hump. Hopefully it doesn't turn out that I'm U!

Ok, So lots of people have made all the valid points already about him possibly being controlling, of how utterly ridiculous he is being AND that you are breastfeeding.

I have a couple of questions
How much is his gum membership???
How would he feel if you had to keep a good diary of what you eat and show it yo your HV?
Do you think you can work through this long term?

So sorry you are having to deal with this

It does seem like an anti social diet too. I can't imagine inviting somebody round to eat microwaved golden rice, fake chicken and tinned rice. It's the sort of food that someone rather eccentric who lives on their own and has an eating disorder might have.

There's a lot of concern -rightly - for the original poster's health and well-being. Do let us know OP what you think you're going to do...

Something else to think about. Where did the £40/45 pw food budget come from? Are you suffering a reduced income due to maternity leave?

Have you cut other costs to free up more money for food? If that's really all you have, a gym membership is completely unnecessary - he can run and use park equipment to exercise for free. If he needs to do weights he can get some cheap ones from gumtree and use those at home, or look into exercises that use the bodyweight to provide resistance.

That budget could be manageble for 2 vegetarians but only if they cooked from scratch and ate lots of meals made from basic pulses and vegetables, not expensive processed items, nuts and drinks, although I suppose there is some nutrition in the juice and milkshake, but 3 cartons of orange juice per week for one person is a lot. Eggs would also make the basis of good cheap meals, do either of you eat eggs?

Well obviously no-one, except professional sports people 'needs' to do weights, but having some at home to use would be a compromise instead of a gym membership to save money.

Sorry OP I'm a little late to the thread, but has he always been a vegetarian or is this a recent development?

If you two met at an anti-fur rally or similar this story might make sense?

Why is his diet so strange?

and why does he spy on you on mumsnet?

Why are you with this person? The more you post about him the more awful he sounds! Petty, controlling, judgmental, rigid as hell, eats tinned carrots...

He does sound a lot like hard work, and why is he not looking after you after your miscarriage?

I'm more than alive to the benefits of a vegetarian diet, but you sound like you could do with a burger and a lazy day right now and someone looking after you.

Increasingly I think he sounds like my ex, with that horrendous diet. He relied entirely on processed convenience foods too, and had absolutely no idea how to actually cook except more than about one or two things which he used to eat all the bloody time. He was a controlling arse, too.

That certainly sounds like disordered eating. It’s such a highly processed, bland diet, no wonder you want out of this menu. I’m guessing by the items listed he can’t cook but wants high protein for the gym. I think he needs to seriously re-assess his diet to bring in some fruit and veg and reduce such a heavy reliance on meat substitutes. Those veg rice pouches are expensive and full of additives too.

A vegetarian who eats no fresh fruit and vegetables?

Is he vegan? no eggs or cheese on there. Whatever he is, he needs to learn to cook.

Not surprised you don’t want to eat the same food as him! It’s only the cartons of orange juice keeping scurvy at bay!

I didn't know what golden vegetable rice is. Apparently it's long grain rice with dried vegetables. Yummy. Uncle Ben's is £1.69 for 250g. 2kg worth would be £13.52.

Or you can get 1kg of frozen mixed veg for 79p and a kg of rice for 45p at tesco. That's 2kg of food, for £1.24. It takes 10 minutes to boil some rice and veg. Add in a few herbs and spices which work out at pennies. He's throwing away over £12 a week or £624 a year on his rice alone. He's a selfish controlling arsehole who is wasting all your money on his own vanity.

Golden vegetable rice does sound like a hungover/guilty pleasure type thing, I would gain a giant fuck-ton of weight if it were my staple. I don't understand his fitness angle.

If you were talking about a teen/adult DC, folk would start suggesting ASD. I suggest ASD b/c he's inflexible about decisions and alternatives, esp. food, and doesn't do a good job in empathy.
I'll get yelled at for mentioning ASD, b/c posters have decided OP's DH is an asshole, and how dare I imply a person with ASD might also be an asshole.

I guess if you knew it was something like ASD and if he could acknowledge it, that could be a pathway to him finding more tolerance for your choices.

Hope you work it all out, anyway.

Golden vegetable rice does sound like a hungover/guilty pleasure type thing

Really? If I was hungover I'd be wanting a bacon sandwich

Golden vegetable rice is the sort of thing Nigel Slater would write about in 'Toast'. I remember it from the 1970s. It is up - or down - there with Findus Crispy Pancakes.

Second the comment about buying your own rice and veg. Just add some spices to make it more appetising.

If he's buying Sainsbury's own brand micro golden vegetable rice, they're about 50p a pack, so not as expensive as the Uncle Ben's that a PP mentioned, but they're still more expensive than buying a bag of plain rice and adding your own bits to it.

Man your bloke is properly irritating me the way you describe him.

If he was a proper vegetarian he would avoid meat substitutes. He's just a lazy, controlling arse. A veggie diet can be filling and tasty if you put some thought into it and wild horses wouldn't make me give up meat!

If he was a proper vegetarian he would avoid meat substitutes.

Why?

He really has got a boring diet hasn't he? It's like he's fixated on these key items and god forbid he try something different.

I hope he's not this dull and samey in the bedroom 😀

Cuz it's lazy. If you've given up meat for welfare concerns then why use something that looks like it? Especially heavily processed fungus. Makes no sense when a veggie diet can be vast and satisfying.

RoadtoRivendell - because they're awful. Fake meat is just awful. And if you're a true meat hater and you hate the texture of meat, why would you want to eat a non-meat alternative parading as meat?