If being a SAHM is a job then do working mothers have two jobs?

[Banana8080]

....if no extra help eg cleaners etc

Yeah I guess so, but in that case presumably they only do one at a time and a sahm does one all the time?

Excluding school time?

If they have school aged kids

No, because presumably the children are in some form of childcare during working hours.

No. Because you don’t have to be a child entertainer/carer during the working day.

It isn't a race to the bottom.

No unless they take the kids to work with them

I agree with fireworks. You can't be in two places at once, if you're working outside the home then someone else is working doing the childcare for your child/ren (or does that only count as "work" if money changes hands ?)

More importantly why is this thread only about mothers and not parents?

I'm a working mum, my dh and I alternate the weekends so one day over the weekend one of us cleans the house while the other one takes dc out. We always try to have a family day too. It works for us!

Being a parent is full on, no matter if you work, are a sahp, a lone parent, a parent with a partner whose job is full on, if you're ill, if you're studying, if you're caring for other family members, or whatever. Everyone has their circumstances, who am I to judge?

Being a SAHM mum isn't a job but it's bloody hard work. No it doesn't mean working mums have two jobs Being a mum is hard. Being a SAHM mum is hard. Being a working mum is hard. Why do you even ask op?

I guess so. I work part time so half the week I look after my ds, the other half I pay someone else to do it whilst I do my paid job.
I'm a single parent so all the cleaning shipping cooking and everything else still needs doing if I've been to work or not.

If a SAHM has young children at home she will have a great deal more caring and housework to do than a full time working mother who has children at nursery or childminders.

Having toddlers at home full time is gruelling. They are like chimpanzees in terms of making a mess, needing entertained ( often messy play) will pull out toys, drop food on the floor, bring in mud, spill juice, pee on the carpet, stick keys down the toilet, smear yogurt on the cat, the walls, the floor, their hair, the TV.

That is 40 hours of caring for/feeding/amusing/cooking for/clearing up after that full time mothers don't have.

If you leave for work in the morning and drop your kids at day care then the house is in the same state you left it in when you left.

Small children at home are very hard work.

Working Mums know this too of course, as they have their children's chaos potentials evenings and weekends.

But being at home all week with little ones can be a circus.

I'm a SAHM and a carer, DH works full time. During his working day I am also "working" taking care of the DC and the house with the DC as the main priority (two school age, two preschoolers). When DH gets home from work, I also finish "work" and from that point on any chores, tasks, or caring for the DC that need to be done are shared between us with no room for either of us to claim "but I've been at work all day".

being a parent isn’t a job.

I don't think being a stay at home mum is a job. I'm sure it's hard work. But if it's a job then yes working parents have two jobs.
Each to their own really.
I hate these threads pitching wohp against sahp.
We all make the best choice for our families whatever the circumstances might be.

Arguably so, but a) it would be two 'part time' jobs if you're going to look at it that way and b) who cares? You do you...

No because the childcare is outsourced. Cleaning your house, cooking, laundry etc is called being an adult. The evening/morning/weekend kids stuff is just regular parenting that you fit around your work. Being a SAHP is a job in the sense that you contribute to the household financially by taking care of children instead of using childcare so that you can go out to work.

Does it matter? There are 24 hours in a day. You are a parent for 24 hours a day. Sometimes you work in the home, sometimes not. Some lucky people don't have to work. We all have different situations, don't we?

Yes, I see where you're coming from. When I'm at work I still get phone calls/questions from DM/MIL/nursery (my DS' childcare). I don't just forget about him and abdicate all responsibility once I get to work. I also have to juggle his appointments, doctors etc, around work.

Please don't start a working parent vs sahp thread they are so decisive.

Well no because somebody else is doing the child care bit during your working hours.

This is kinda where I was coming from.

We don't have to be in competition with each other. Both working and sah mothers have a hard time in different ways.

Working you've got the stress of the juggling act, and of course the ubiquitous mum-guilt. SAHM you have a feeling of the walls closing in on you, mind numbing boredom and a malaise of unfulfilled potential.

Let's not fight, just have a bit of empathy that one person having a moan about their situation isn't a direct dig at your situation.

Also your logic is faulty. The SAHM is providing childcare in the daytime when you would be working, otherwise by this logic being a childcare provider would not be a paid occupation. The SAHM's "day job" doesn't change at the end of the day either.