If being a SAHM is a job then do working mothers have two jobs?

[Banana8080]

....if no extra help eg cleaners etc

Defo not two jobs. I have been both and going to work to me is far easier than when i was SAHP .

Pointless, goady thread.

No because if you work full time you don't look after the kids during the day or pick them up from school at 3:20? Presumably if you both work full time you also share housework between you where as a SAHM would do the majority of it etc.

Personally I've done both and while being a SAHM to school age kids with no major issues was fairly easy for me (I understand different people might have difficulties I didn't face etc) I certainly did more household stuff then when I was working. I spent a lot more time cooking, the house was cleaner, spent more time organising and hosting playdates, sorting out fun things to do at the weekend. When I was working dinner was always something quick and more of my weekend was spent catching up on housework etc.

It's not easy but it's not a job. Looking after your own children isn't a job. I don't make my own dinner and then say I'm a chef.

Being a SAHP is not a job. I was a SAHM for 14 years. It's hard work and extremely valuable but it is not a job.

I have a part time job, I am a student and a parent. It is pretty simple really.

Do men have these type of discussions?

Being at home with two or more children under 5 - that’s work. Staying at home with one baby or school aged children who are at school 9-3 is no comparison to having a stressful full time job and still having to parent round work. I have experience of all 3 scenarios (and a child with special needs). I hate the constant debate around this but let’s be realistic people.

I’ve done both; currently in the middle as a PT worker and both are difficult.

Being a SAHM is not a job, fact. You do not get paid, you are not working you are looking after your child that you created. If you look after someone else’s child, that is a job.

Personally I found being a SAHM mind numbingly boring and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done so hats of to anyone that does it!

But that’s the point, it’s a choice. If you don’t like it, get a job. If you do like it and can afford it then yay for you. Excluding children with disabilities in which case I would say it is a job more of a carer role that you can’t walk away from.

Being a wohp is not two jobs. You are a mother and have a job, being a SAHM means you’re unemployed.

Neither is better, no need to tear anyone down. Those that argue it are usually those insecure in whatever choice they’ve made

When there are two parents and both work full time, stats show the woman more often than not takes the heavy lifting of domestic chores - that’s where I’m coming from.

Of course YABU.

Being a SAHP is a role which usually involves looking after children during the working week. Being a FT WOHP is a role which usually involves devoting the same time to work. All parents normally share responsibility for looking after their children outside of working hours.

I'm struggling to understand how you can argue that a WOHP is doing two "jobs" as they are using the "working" hours of the day to work and not look after their children. They may field the odd query and keep in contact with the childcare provider, but I think suggesting that someone can do both roles at the same time actually undermines both roles.

All of the above obviously applies to parents of children not yet at school.

What's the point of this thread? Obviously being a SAHM isn't a job nobody genuinely believes it's a job with a contract and salary. When people say it's a job they mean it's similar to a job in that it has economic and social value and involves hard work. When people say it's not a job they're usually denigrating the value of what SAHM's do.

It's likely that if you're a SAHM you do more housework (spend longer cooking, cleaning etc) and you spend more time with your kids so you do more "work" in the house than a working parent. If your children are at school it's likely you also have more free time.

Hehehe @Buzzlightyearsbumchin ohh how true !!!

Can't it just be that some find sahm a breeze, some don't, some prefer working, some don't etc but we are ALL mother's ALL the time and we All have to also work in the evening and ALL work in the day, whatever job that may be? Paid or not? And that it's equally shite/rewarding for ALL of us?

Banana...you last comment assumes that SAHP's get to do housework during the day. Some might but when I had my youngest, I also had a 21 month old and a 3.5 year old. I don't think any housework got done that first year. When the oldest started school I maybe did a small amount. they are nowteenagers and I work full time in senior NHS position and although stressful and working far more hours than I get paid for, my current job is a walk in the park compared to 3 pre-schoolers. Although I also need to add that my youngest had lots of medical issues which did not help.

Looking after your own children isn't a job. I don't make my own dinner and then say I'm a chef.
Exactly, which is why I think the 'its a job because some people pay for childcare' is a stupid argument.
I could pay a taxi driver to drive me places, but I'm not a taxi driver. I do cook my own meals but I'm not a chef. Many parents help their children with revision and homework, but they don't claim to be teachers. People don't talk about being a decorator because they wallpapered a bedroom..

Plus, I look what my friends in childcare do for their job and it is not the same as being a SAHP.

By all means, SAHP should be valued and their contribution to their family shouldn't be downplayed etc, but it's not a job. Something doesn't have to be equated to a job to be valuable.

Then there are the non working parents with nannies - where we do class those? I have known a good few of those because of relatively high incomes

No as when i was a single parent home with a child i was classed as unemployed. I wasn't valued in anyway as no one would class me as a sahm as i had no one to live off. I didn't have the pleasure of calling myself a sahm. Now as a working single parent i would class what im doing now as a job as in going to work keeping a house.

A paid childminder, nursery work etc who has chosen the career has childcare as a job, a parent it’s a lifestyle choice.

Does it matter op?

Being a mother is a 168 hour a week job.

My mother was a SAHM.
God I wish she'd had a job outside the home.

If looking after children all day isn’t a job then why the hell am I paying a nanny?

I’ve been a sahp and am now a wohp and staying at home is by far the hardest I’ve ever worked in my life.

Ethylred

Why?

speakout: because she was ferociously clever and had no outlet for her cleverness and energy beyond ordering her children around. Not fun for us and a waste for everyone else.

When people say it's a job they mean it's similar to a job in that it has economic and social value and involves hard work

This ^^

I think looking after pre school children is a 'job' i would be happy to agree that when all the children are at school then its obviously not so much work

With the usual caveats about heathy NT chikdren and parents

Et hylred that was your Mum though, and not indicative of all SAHMs.

As a SAHM I managed to do lots of things.
I haven't worked outside the home for 20 years, but my cleverness and energy have not gone to waste.